How to Get out of a Fight Unharmed
De-escalate the situation., Apologize to the hostile party., Introduce yourself., Inspire sympathy from the hostile person., Confuse the other person., Intimidate the aggressor.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: De-escalate the situation.
De-escalation means reducing tensions between you and the person who is fighting you or wishing to fight you.
To de-escalate the situation, don’t antagonize the hostile person.
Express your disinterest in fighting.For instance, you might say, “I am not interested in fighting.
Let’s go about our business.” If someone pushes you, do not push back.
If they stare you down, do not stare back.
If they call you a derogatory name, do not call them a name back. -
Step 2: Apologize to the hostile party.
Even when you haven’t done anything wrong, apologizing to the person who wants to fight you can help you exit the fight without injury.
Just say, “I’m very sorry for offending you.”If the hostile party cites a particular cause of offense, apologize in reference to the perceived offense.
For example, if the hostile party says, “My friend doesn’t like you.
I don’t like you either!”, you might say, “I am very sorry.” If you’re in a bar, you might close your apology by offering to buy the aggressor a drink. , If, after apologizing to the hostile party, they continue to act belligerent, you could catch them off guard by showing them you’re a friendly sort.
Say, “Hello, my name is ____.
What’s your name?” This will show them you are respectful and want no part of a fight., If introducing yourself and apologizing don’t work out, you could try to elicit a sympathetic response from the hostile party.
You might, for instance, excuse your behavior (even if you’ve done nothing wrong) by saying, “I’ve just had a rough night, I broke up with my partner,” “Sorry, mate, my mom just passed away,” or “My mind isn’t right, I was just diagnosed with cancer.”Under normal circumstances, you should not lie.
But in order to gain sympathy from the hostile party and exit a fight without injury, you might choose to resort to some mild deception. , Instead of calling the hostile party names or cussing them out, you could disarm them by saying something zany and unexpected.
Your non-sequitur will catch them unawares, thereby deflating tension and allowing you to exit the fight without being harmed.
For instance, you might say:
The cows sometimes have black and white spots.
My house is blue and red.
This house is blue and green.
Yesterday it was rainy, but tomorrow it will be sunny. , If being a nice person hasn’t helped you de-escalate the situation, take the opposite tack and try to look strong and unafraid.
Throw your shoulders back and look them straight in the eye, shouting "Get away!" or “Back off!” as loudly as possible.
This will let the aggressor know you are willing to fight if necessary, and hopefully make them think twice about taking you on. -
Step 3: Introduce yourself.
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Step 4: Inspire sympathy from the hostile person.
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Step 5: Confuse the other person.
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Step 6: Intimidate the aggressor.
Detailed Guide
De-escalation means reducing tensions between you and the person who is fighting you or wishing to fight you.
To de-escalate the situation, don’t antagonize the hostile person.
Express your disinterest in fighting.For instance, you might say, “I am not interested in fighting.
Let’s go about our business.” If someone pushes you, do not push back.
If they stare you down, do not stare back.
If they call you a derogatory name, do not call them a name back.
Even when you haven’t done anything wrong, apologizing to the person who wants to fight you can help you exit the fight without injury.
Just say, “I’m very sorry for offending you.”If the hostile party cites a particular cause of offense, apologize in reference to the perceived offense.
For example, if the hostile party says, “My friend doesn’t like you.
I don’t like you either!”, you might say, “I am very sorry.” If you’re in a bar, you might close your apology by offering to buy the aggressor a drink. , If, after apologizing to the hostile party, they continue to act belligerent, you could catch them off guard by showing them you’re a friendly sort.
Say, “Hello, my name is ____.
What’s your name?” This will show them you are respectful and want no part of a fight., If introducing yourself and apologizing don’t work out, you could try to elicit a sympathetic response from the hostile party.
You might, for instance, excuse your behavior (even if you’ve done nothing wrong) by saying, “I’ve just had a rough night, I broke up with my partner,” “Sorry, mate, my mom just passed away,” or “My mind isn’t right, I was just diagnosed with cancer.”Under normal circumstances, you should not lie.
But in order to gain sympathy from the hostile party and exit a fight without injury, you might choose to resort to some mild deception. , Instead of calling the hostile party names or cussing them out, you could disarm them by saying something zany and unexpected.
Your non-sequitur will catch them unawares, thereby deflating tension and allowing you to exit the fight without being harmed.
For instance, you might say:
The cows sometimes have black and white spots.
My house is blue and red.
This house is blue and green.
Yesterday it was rainy, but tomorrow it will be sunny. , If being a nice person hasn’t helped you de-escalate the situation, take the opposite tack and try to look strong and unafraid.
Throw your shoulders back and look them straight in the eye, shouting "Get away!" or “Back off!” as loudly as possible.
This will let the aggressor know you are willing to fight if necessary, and hopefully make them think twice about taking you on.
About the Author
Lori Hughes
Enthusiastic about teaching cooking techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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