How to Get Someone to Say Yes
Speak with confidence and polish., Nod your head while you talk., Show how your proposal/idea benefits them., Ask questions to learn what’s most important to them., Make your first request a small one., Try to make your request in a positive...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Speak with confidence and polish.
When you approach someone with a proposal or a question, you want to put your best foot forward.
You greatly increase your chances of getting someone to say yes if you perfect your delivery.
Speak confidently and deliberately, without saying “um” or “uh” or tripping over your words.Remember that practice makes perfect.
Before you deliver your question, rehearse what you’re planning to say.
You don’t have to rehearse down to memorization because you don’t want to sound robotic.
Simply practice asking what you plan to ask for until you feel like you sound confident and prepared.
If you’re a more visual learner, it might be beneficial for you to jot down exactly what you want to say and rehearse that way.Practicing in front of a mirror is especially helpful because it helps you also take note of nonverbal issues you might have, like playing with your hair or avoiding eye contact. -
Step 2: Nod your head while you talk.
Studies have shown that nodding your head while you pitch an idea helps you feel more positive and confident, which translates to you appearing more confident and knowledgeable to your audience, whether it’s a boss, client, or loved one.While this nonverbal cue is an important one to use, it’s equally important to not overdo it.
Only nod as it feels natural to you.
Don’t force it or it can end up serving as a distraction from your words rather than a helpful supplement to them. , People are more likely to say yes to you if you can prove how whatever you’re proposing might help or benefit them in some way.
Show them what’s in it for them if you agree to your question.For example, if you want to take some time off from work, then you might speak with your boss about what times of the year are generally slowest at your work and go from there.
This way, your boss sees the benefit to granting you your vacation: you’re being thoughtful and taking it during a slow time of year, so it won’t hurt the company’s bottom line.
Or, if you want to take your spouse out on a date and need to convince your teenager to babysit their younger siblings, you might ask them to babysit in exchange for a later curfew, money, or use of your car on the weekend, for instance.
This demonstrates to your teen that saying yes to you will be mutually beneficial. , You cannot sell someone on your idea or proposal if you haven’t done your homework, either beforehand or during your present conversation.
If someone isn’t interested in what you’re suggesting or offering, then no amount of persuasion will get them to say yes.
If a family of five walks into a car dealership and you start trying to sell them on a two-seater sports car, then you’re wasting your time.
Ask questions like “What will you be using the vehicle for primarily?” and “What features are you looking for in a vehicle?” Hone in on what they need, and they will be more likely to say yes and allow you to complete a sale. , This is also known as the “foot-in-the-door” method, and it refers to asking for something small as a lead-in to a larger request, with the reasoning being that people are more likely to say yes to a larger proposal if they’ve already said yes to something smaller.
For example, if you talk your child into taking at least one bite of their dinner, then once the one bite is agreed to, then it is more likely that they’ll continue eating if you ask. (Especially if there’s a reward for continuing!), Nothing ruins negotiations like a sour mood.
If at all possible, don’t attempt to negotiate with someone who is angry or standoffish.
Wait until the person is in a better mood to mention your request.
Over a meal, whether at home or during an evening out, is usually a good time to bring up a request.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to work situations where you are required to negotiate, such as selling an unhappy customer on something.
Situating your request in a positive environment can’t always happen.
However, if it is within your control to choose, then do wait till the person you’re seeking a yes from is in a good mood.
This increases your chances of hearing a yes.
Tell tale nonverbal signs that you should wait if possible include crossed arms, external distractions (like a phone call or misbehaving kids), or eye rolls or scowls.
Even if you’re being engaged by the person out of politeness, you’re not truly going to be heard, so you are better off waiting and approaching them at a better time when they’re less distracted or upset. -
Step 3: Show how your proposal/idea benefits them.
-
Step 4: Ask questions to learn what’s most important to them.
-
Step 5: Make your first request a small one.
-
Step 6: Try to make your request in a positive environment.
Detailed Guide
When you approach someone with a proposal or a question, you want to put your best foot forward.
You greatly increase your chances of getting someone to say yes if you perfect your delivery.
Speak confidently and deliberately, without saying “um” or “uh” or tripping over your words.Remember that practice makes perfect.
Before you deliver your question, rehearse what you’re planning to say.
You don’t have to rehearse down to memorization because you don’t want to sound robotic.
Simply practice asking what you plan to ask for until you feel like you sound confident and prepared.
If you’re a more visual learner, it might be beneficial for you to jot down exactly what you want to say and rehearse that way.Practicing in front of a mirror is especially helpful because it helps you also take note of nonverbal issues you might have, like playing with your hair or avoiding eye contact.
Studies have shown that nodding your head while you pitch an idea helps you feel more positive and confident, which translates to you appearing more confident and knowledgeable to your audience, whether it’s a boss, client, or loved one.While this nonverbal cue is an important one to use, it’s equally important to not overdo it.
Only nod as it feels natural to you.
Don’t force it or it can end up serving as a distraction from your words rather than a helpful supplement to them. , People are more likely to say yes to you if you can prove how whatever you’re proposing might help or benefit them in some way.
Show them what’s in it for them if you agree to your question.For example, if you want to take some time off from work, then you might speak with your boss about what times of the year are generally slowest at your work and go from there.
This way, your boss sees the benefit to granting you your vacation: you’re being thoughtful and taking it during a slow time of year, so it won’t hurt the company’s bottom line.
Or, if you want to take your spouse out on a date and need to convince your teenager to babysit their younger siblings, you might ask them to babysit in exchange for a later curfew, money, or use of your car on the weekend, for instance.
This demonstrates to your teen that saying yes to you will be mutually beneficial. , You cannot sell someone on your idea or proposal if you haven’t done your homework, either beforehand or during your present conversation.
If someone isn’t interested in what you’re suggesting or offering, then no amount of persuasion will get them to say yes.
If a family of five walks into a car dealership and you start trying to sell them on a two-seater sports car, then you’re wasting your time.
Ask questions like “What will you be using the vehicle for primarily?” and “What features are you looking for in a vehicle?” Hone in on what they need, and they will be more likely to say yes and allow you to complete a sale. , This is also known as the “foot-in-the-door” method, and it refers to asking for something small as a lead-in to a larger request, with the reasoning being that people are more likely to say yes to a larger proposal if they’ve already said yes to something smaller.
For example, if you talk your child into taking at least one bite of their dinner, then once the one bite is agreed to, then it is more likely that they’ll continue eating if you ask. (Especially if there’s a reward for continuing!), Nothing ruins negotiations like a sour mood.
If at all possible, don’t attempt to negotiate with someone who is angry or standoffish.
Wait until the person is in a better mood to mention your request.
Over a meal, whether at home or during an evening out, is usually a good time to bring up a request.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to work situations where you are required to negotiate, such as selling an unhappy customer on something.
Situating your request in a positive environment can’t always happen.
However, if it is within your control to choose, then do wait till the person you’re seeking a yes from is in a good mood.
This increases your chances of hearing a yes.
Tell tale nonverbal signs that you should wait if possible include crossed arms, external distractions (like a phone call or misbehaving kids), or eye rolls or scowls.
Even if you’re being engaged by the person out of politeness, you’re not truly going to be heard, so you are better off waiting and approaching them at a better time when they’re less distracted or upset.
About the Author
Doris Smith
Writer and educator with a focus on practical pet care knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: