How to Get Someone Who Hates You to Like You
Find out if they really and truly hate you., Dig into the reason they dislike you so much., Look back on your past few interactions., Address the problem head on., Not everyone is going to like you -- deal with it., Avoid the person to avoid the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out if they really and truly hate you.
Hate is a strong emotion, one very few people feel casually.
Do they actually hate you? Or are you giving yourself too much credit as a force in their life?That said, the following signs could mean there is some beef between both of you.
Intentionally making your life difficult.
Ignoring your words and conversations.
Talking trash about you behind your back.
Throwing cruel language and insults your way at every opportunity. -
Step 2: Dig into the reason they dislike you so much.
Just be straightforward and ask them. 90% of the jerks harboring hateful feelings won't have much to say back to you
-- they're just angry people.
When confronted, they'll stammer, hem, and haw, because there is no good reason to hate you.
But, if they do respond, you'll have a chance to make things right:
If they are uncomfortable, just flash them your pearly whites and say, "It's all right.
Let's just try and be better friends in the future." If they tell you a reason why, say "That's good to know.
I'm working on being a better person, and not doing ________." If you can give them a concrete step, like you're trying to make less of a mess in the work kitchen to be more respectful, let them know.
If their reason is unreasonable or dumb, just admit "that not everyone's perfect," and move on.
Don't waste any more breath trying to tame a jerk who doesn't want to be tamed. , Did you blow them off? Forget a favor? Insult them casually? Maybe you've been a bit braggadocious lately without even knowing it
-- complaining about a the maid being late when they can hardly afford a broom, for example.
Really dive deep into your personal interactions with them (you're not perfect either!) and then try and make it right by bringing up any slights. , Once you know what the issues is, you have to make an effort to fix it.
Don't get snippy and fight them ("I was not rude to you, you were just being a sensitive wuss!"), smile, apologize when needed, and make a plan to do better next time.
Tell them that you know you’ve had your disagreements, but that you just wanted to be straight with them and work things out.
Most people will respect this.
If they don’t, at least you tried to be mature about the situation.
Be direct without being pushy.
For example, say one of your coworkers hates you because you backed into his car a few weeks ago. "Listen, I'm really sorry about your car.
I made a mistake, and I shouldn't have been so careless.
I feel horrible, and I want to find a way to make it up to you." If you still don't know what caused the problem, say something like, "Hey, I'm not sure what's up, but I've noticed that you're kind of upset with me.
I hope I haven't done something to piss you off.
What's up?"
In fact, this is a good thing! If you're living your life and staying true to yourself, you're not going to get along with all six plus billion people on the planet.
If you have tried everything else and the person still hates you, then that person kinda just sucks.
There is no way you're changing that, and why would you want to? You can feel good knowing that you put in an effort to change their mind
-- it makes you the much bigger person.Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion.
If someone is so invested in disliking you, then they likely have other things going on in their life that have made them so angry and upset. , This isn’t always possible, but put them out of your life if you can.
Remove the problem from your life.
There’s not benefit to having someone like that around, so block their calls, ignore them on your way in the door, and banish their existence from your brain.
Most bullies and haters will run out of material once you stop interacting with them.
Don't give the vampires any more blood to suck. , Make friends with other people.
Plenty of other people will like you, and some people will hate you.
That’s just the way the world works.
Move on and start fresh with someone new.
Don’t let it grind you down, because that's what the haters want.
You've already risen above them by trying to make things right.
Leave the rest of the haters in your metaphorical moral dust.Haters gonna hate.
Truer words have never been spoken. -
Step 3: Look back on your past few interactions.
-
Step 4: Address the problem head on.
-
Step 5: Not everyone is going to like you -- deal with it.
-
Step 6: Avoid the person to avoid the hatred.
-
Step 7: Move on.
Detailed Guide
Hate is a strong emotion, one very few people feel casually.
Do they actually hate you? Or are you giving yourself too much credit as a force in their life?That said, the following signs could mean there is some beef between both of you.
Intentionally making your life difficult.
Ignoring your words and conversations.
Talking trash about you behind your back.
Throwing cruel language and insults your way at every opportunity.
Just be straightforward and ask them. 90% of the jerks harboring hateful feelings won't have much to say back to you
-- they're just angry people.
When confronted, they'll stammer, hem, and haw, because there is no good reason to hate you.
But, if they do respond, you'll have a chance to make things right:
If they are uncomfortable, just flash them your pearly whites and say, "It's all right.
Let's just try and be better friends in the future." If they tell you a reason why, say "That's good to know.
I'm working on being a better person, and not doing ________." If you can give them a concrete step, like you're trying to make less of a mess in the work kitchen to be more respectful, let them know.
If their reason is unreasonable or dumb, just admit "that not everyone's perfect," and move on.
Don't waste any more breath trying to tame a jerk who doesn't want to be tamed. , Did you blow them off? Forget a favor? Insult them casually? Maybe you've been a bit braggadocious lately without even knowing it
-- complaining about a the maid being late when they can hardly afford a broom, for example.
Really dive deep into your personal interactions with them (you're not perfect either!) and then try and make it right by bringing up any slights. , Once you know what the issues is, you have to make an effort to fix it.
Don't get snippy and fight them ("I was not rude to you, you were just being a sensitive wuss!"), smile, apologize when needed, and make a plan to do better next time.
Tell them that you know you’ve had your disagreements, but that you just wanted to be straight with them and work things out.
Most people will respect this.
If they don’t, at least you tried to be mature about the situation.
Be direct without being pushy.
For example, say one of your coworkers hates you because you backed into his car a few weeks ago. "Listen, I'm really sorry about your car.
I made a mistake, and I shouldn't have been so careless.
I feel horrible, and I want to find a way to make it up to you." If you still don't know what caused the problem, say something like, "Hey, I'm not sure what's up, but I've noticed that you're kind of upset with me.
I hope I haven't done something to piss you off.
What's up?"
In fact, this is a good thing! If you're living your life and staying true to yourself, you're not going to get along with all six plus billion people on the planet.
If you have tried everything else and the person still hates you, then that person kinda just sucks.
There is no way you're changing that, and why would you want to? You can feel good knowing that you put in an effort to change their mind
-- it makes you the much bigger person.Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion.
If someone is so invested in disliking you, then they likely have other things going on in their life that have made them so angry and upset. , This isn’t always possible, but put them out of your life if you can.
Remove the problem from your life.
There’s not benefit to having someone like that around, so block their calls, ignore them on your way in the door, and banish their existence from your brain.
Most bullies and haters will run out of material once you stop interacting with them.
Don't give the vampires any more blood to suck. , Make friends with other people.
Plenty of other people will like you, and some people will hate you.
That’s just the way the world works.
Move on and start fresh with someone new.
Don’t let it grind you down, because that's what the haters want.
You've already risen above them by trying to make things right.
Leave the rest of the haters in your metaphorical moral dust.Haters gonna hate.
Truer words have never been spoken.
About the Author
Brian Parker
Specializes in breaking down complex crafts topics into simple steps.
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