How to Give Each Other Space

Identify your feelings., Learn one another's needs., Be as specific as possible., Express yourself with love.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Identify your feelings.

    Before communicating your boundaries, it's important to get in touch with your feelings.

    Spend some time considering what you want and why.

    This way, you can best convey that to your partner, friend, or family member.Think about why you need space.

    Are you feeling drained or frustrated? Do you just want more time for yourself? Is the other person asking you for too much of your emotional energy? In a relationship, you often get too swept up in another person's issues.

    Try to disengage from what the other person is thinking and feeling.

    Instead, focus on yourself.

    Think about your ideal amount of space, and why you need that space.
  2. Step 2: Learn one another's needs.

    It's important the other person understands your needs.

    Boundaries are rooted in personal needs and feelings.

    You need to make your personal needs clear so the other person understands why space is necessary.

    You should also be willing to listen to the other person's needs.Oftentimes, you keep your needs to yourself.

    You may worry about upsetting another person by expressing certain needs.

    However, it's important to remember expressing needs is better in the long term.

    If you let your needs go unrecognized, resentment can build.

    Don't feel guilty telling the other person what you need from them.

    Be upfront about this.

    For example, you can't handle a friend's constant negative texts during the day anymore, as this emotional baggage distracts you from your work.

    Say something like, "I need to focus on my job during the day.

    I'm at a critical point in my career, so I can't handle a lot besides work emotionally during the workday." You want to give the other person adequate space as well.

    As people are shy about expressing needs, ask the person something.

    Try something like, "Is there anything you need from me?" or "Do you have any needs I'm not meeting?"

    Saying something like, "I need space" can be confusing.

    Instead, work on giving specifics.

    Express how much space you need and when you need it.Instead of saying, "I need time to myself after work," strive for specifics.

    For example, "I know you miss me during the day, but I need half an hour to unwind after work before I can really have a conversation.

    Can you give me that time to myself when I get home?" You can also ask the other person for specifics, so you understand their need for space.

    For example, "I know you like to have some time to yourself on the weekends.

    How much time do you need? Is there any way I can tell when you do and don't want to talk?"

    Successful long term relationships involve readjusting distance on occasion.

    Reassure the other person of this.

    Remind them that this is not about wanting permanent space; it's about allowing for personal growth space as you continue to share your lives together.Say something like, "I want you to understand that I love you and I value this relationship.

    I want space to help us grow, not because I want things to end." You should also accept the other person's love.

    Remember, if someone asks you for space, it does not mean the relationship is ending.

    It just means the other person needs a bit more alone time to be happy.
  3. Step 3: Be as specific as possible.

  4. Step 4: Express yourself with love.

Detailed Guide

Before communicating your boundaries, it's important to get in touch with your feelings.

Spend some time considering what you want and why.

This way, you can best convey that to your partner, friend, or family member.Think about why you need space.

Are you feeling drained or frustrated? Do you just want more time for yourself? Is the other person asking you for too much of your emotional energy? In a relationship, you often get too swept up in another person's issues.

Try to disengage from what the other person is thinking and feeling.

Instead, focus on yourself.

Think about your ideal amount of space, and why you need that space.

It's important the other person understands your needs.

Boundaries are rooted in personal needs and feelings.

You need to make your personal needs clear so the other person understands why space is necessary.

You should also be willing to listen to the other person's needs.Oftentimes, you keep your needs to yourself.

You may worry about upsetting another person by expressing certain needs.

However, it's important to remember expressing needs is better in the long term.

If you let your needs go unrecognized, resentment can build.

Don't feel guilty telling the other person what you need from them.

Be upfront about this.

For example, you can't handle a friend's constant negative texts during the day anymore, as this emotional baggage distracts you from your work.

Say something like, "I need to focus on my job during the day.

I'm at a critical point in my career, so I can't handle a lot besides work emotionally during the workday." You want to give the other person adequate space as well.

As people are shy about expressing needs, ask the person something.

Try something like, "Is there anything you need from me?" or "Do you have any needs I'm not meeting?"

Saying something like, "I need space" can be confusing.

Instead, work on giving specifics.

Express how much space you need and when you need it.Instead of saying, "I need time to myself after work," strive for specifics.

For example, "I know you miss me during the day, but I need half an hour to unwind after work before I can really have a conversation.

Can you give me that time to myself when I get home?" You can also ask the other person for specifics, so you understand their need for space.

For example, "I know you like to have some time to yourself on the weekends.

How much time do you need? Is there any way I can tell when you do and don't want to talk?"

Successful long term relationships involve readjusting distance on occasion.

Reassure the other person of this.

Remind them that this is not about wanting permanent space; it's about allowing for personal growth space as you continue to share your lives together.Say something like, "I want you to understand that I love you and I value this relationship.

I want space to help us grow, not because I want things to end." You should also accept the other person's love.

Remember, if someone asks you for space, it does not mean the relationship is ending.

It just means the other person needs a bit more alone time to be happy.

About the Author

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Brian Freeman

Experienced content creator specializing in creative arts guides and tutorials.

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