How to Give Up Self Criticism As a Perfectionist
Spot your inner critic at work., Learn to accept your shortcomings., Reframe negative self-talk., Quit telling yourself self-criticism motivates.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Spot your inner critic at work.
Feelings of inadequacy are a major sign that you are experiencing a negative inner critic.
In order to effectively quit your self-criticism habit, you must first recognize when you are being critical.
Observe your thoughts and feelings for a few days to spot critical and unhelpful statements.
Pay special attention for judgmental statements like “Because I needed help, I am a loser” or “My coworker performed better than me, which means I don’t do my job well.” You’ll come to notice that such thoughts often precede negative feelings like depression, anxiety, or anger.
What’s more, negative self-talk can also cause you to procrastinate on anxiety-provoking tasks or medicate with unhealthy behaviors (e.g. overeating or using drugs).Being workaholic is another sign that you may be a perfectionist, which can lead to negative self-talk. -
Step 2: Learn to accept your shortcomings.
As a perfectionist, you probably have a hard time accepting imperfections.
However, being able to acknowledge and be okay with your flaws is a necessary step to overcoming self-criticism.
Perfectionism is a defense mechanism against you shortcomings, but learning to be vulnerable can help.
To be vulnerable, you will need to have courage as well as look closely and objectively at your flaws.You must know that everyone has both strengths and weaknesses.
Being ashamed of your inherent flaws only wastes important energy.
The only way to truly grow is by accepting your weaknesses.
Then, you can begin to use that energy to improve these areas.
Generally, people ignore or hide their flaws and act like they aren't there.
Accept your flaws by overcoming your denial about them.
If you have poor spending habits, voice this flaw aloud.
Say, “I have a tendency to overspend when I am upset.
I am racking up a lot of credit card debt." Owning your flaws is the best way to gain acceptance of them., Once you have learned to identify self-criticisms and start accepting flaws, you can transform negative thoughts into positive, helpful ones.
When you find yourself in a cycle of self-criticism, isolate one thought and try to put a positive spin on it.
For example, you might say, “I’ll never reach my goals.” Reframe this perfectionistic statement into “I have accomplished many of my goals.
If I stay focused, I will reach others.”Try to look at setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than as negative or as personal flaws.
Remind yourself that failure is a necessary part of improvement, so it is normal and helpful to experience failures in your lifetime., One of the primary obstacles keeping your self-criticism habit in place is that you’re telling yourself it works for you.
It’s very common for perfectionists to say “The only way I can succeed is by being hard on myself.” In truth, self-criticism often drives away success and happiness and pushes you further along the path of self-hate.
It can even jeopardize your physical health.Tell yourself “I am not helping myself by using negative words.
Negativity is only hurting me.” -
Step 3: Reframe negative self-talk.
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Step 4: Quit telling yourself self-criticism motivates.
Detailed Guide
Feelings of inadequacy are a major sign that you are experiencing a negative inner critic.
In order to effectively quit your self-criticism habit, you must first recognize when you are being critical.
Observe your thoughts and feelings for a few days to spot critical and unhelpful statements.
Pay special attention for judgmental statements like “Because I needed help, I am a loser” or “My coworker performed better than me, which means I don’t do my job well.” You’ll come to notice that such thoughts often precede negative feelings like depression, anxiety, or anger.
What’s more, negative self-talk can also cause you to procrastinate on anxiety-provoking tasks or medicate with unhealthy behaviors (e.g. overeating or using drugs).Being workaholic is another sign that you may be a perfectionist, which can lead to negative self-talk.
As a perfectionist, you probably have a hard time accepting imperfections.
However, being able to acknowledge and be okay with your flaws is a necessary step to overcoming self-criticism.
Perfectionism is a defense mechanism against you shortcomings, but learning to be vulnerable can help.
To be vulnerable, you will need to have courage as well as look closely and objectively at your flaws.You must know that everyone has both strengths and weaknesses.
Being ashamed of your inherent flaws only wastes important energy.
The only way to truly grow is by accepting your weaknesses.
Then, you can begin to use that energy to improve these areas.
Generally, people ignore or hide their flaws and act like they aren't there.
Accept your flaws by overcoming your denial about them.
If you have poor spending habits, voice this flaw aloud.
Say, “I have a tendency to overspend when I am upset.
I am racking up a lot of credit card debt." Owning your flaws is the best way to gain acceptance of them., Once you have learned to identify self-criticisms and start accepting flaws, you can transform negative thoughts into positive, helpful ones.
When you find yourself in a cycle of self-criticism, isolate one thought and try to put a positive spin on it.
For example, you might say, “I’ll never reach my goals.” Reframe this perfectionistic statement into “I have accomplished many of my goals.
If I stay focused, I will reach others.”Try to look at setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than as negative or as personal flaws.
Remind yourself that failure is a necessary part of improvement, so it is normal and helpful to experience failures in your lifetime., One of the primary obstacles keeping your self-criticism habit in place is that you’re telling yourself it works for you.
It’s very common for perfectionists to say “The only way I can succeed is by being hard on myself.” In truth, self-criticism often drives away success and happiness and pushes you further along the path of self-hate.
It can even jeopardize your physical health.Tell yourself “I am not helping myself by using negative words.
Negativity is only hurting me.”
About the Author
Gloria Gray
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.
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