How to Help People Newly Diagnosed With Fibromyalgia
The first step is to really LISTEN to, and BELIEVE the individual., Grief is something that comes later, when an individual starts to realise and have to accept that there are things they are no longer able to do., Help the individual during the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: The first step is to really LISTEN to
If you really care for a person, why would you think they could or would make up a tale about having unexplained or uncontrollable pain.
Especially pain that isn't eased by medicine. -
Step 2: and BELIEVE the individual.
It can be something as simple as not be able to hold a knife or a peeler to prepare veg.
It is part of the process, and comes in stages; as fibromyalgia slowly manifests itself, it causes a real loss in all areas of life.
What matters most to them may not be what you think, their priorities may be different.
Give them time to grieve and don't expect the person with fibromyalgia to be cheery about it and take care of your feelings. , Diagnosing fibromyalgia is limited to information gathering rather than lab tests, x-rays, etc.
The symptoms are numerous and can mimic other symptoms of illnesses such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and other medical conditions
- it is a process of elimination in most instances and this can be timely and tiring.
Go to doctor's appointments with them and explain their symptoms to the doctor.
Doctors don't listen to what the patient says, they're too concerned with the patient's body language, tone, a thousand symptoms the patient may not even be aware of.
Specialists will read these symptoms within their specialty.
Doctors do listen to caretakers and healthy friends or family members of a sick person, so you can eliminate lengthy, costly misdiagnoses with this simple favor.
Also, pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia can interfere with the patient's ability to communicate in an organized way, while you're not being sick gives you the advantage of being able to present the information in a more coherent way. , Many with fibromyalgia feel that people don't understand their condition and this creates a great deal of anxiety and ultimately feelings of doubt.
Stress causes symptoms to flare, so anxiety and doubt will make your loved one a lot sicker, often very fast. , Self-worth becomes an issue as time goes by and they begin to realize they are limited and can no longer do the things they once could.
It's also important not to expect them to do things they can't or get angry if they try some day to day activity and fail.
Fatigue may make them crabby and tearful like a toddler who's been up too long without a nap.
Understand this and don't pick up a circular argument at the point your loved one is stumbling like a drunk.
That can set off a bigger flare and make things go worse fast.
Don't ask your loved one to remind you of things.
The shame of forgetting to give a reminder is excruciating.
It's like asking the guy who's got a bad back to pick up a heavy load
- just remembering to take medications on time and other necessary routine things is an enormous effort for someone with fibromyalgia.
Pain can have the same effects on mood as depression, the big difference is that pain medication lightens mood as fast as the right anti-depressant does for someone with chronic fatigue.
If your loved one starts spiraling down and sounds hopeless, miserable, fault finding with self or others, defeated... just ask if they've taken their pain medication.
That reminder can spare them hours of agony.
Even if they are depressed, the pain makes it so much worse that the pills will probably help. , Learning their limitations is one of the hardest things they will have to deal with.
Likewise, don't count on them for routine tasks and activities.
Life for someone with fibromyalgia becomes a matter of seizing "Launch windows" when their body's functioning better than usual, to accomplish as much as possible before the crash.
Let them set the pace and don't get angry when they can't manage something they thought they could.
Almost all people with fibromyalgia overestimate what they can do and make plans they can't carry through on.
It can take years to learn how to plan around it and even then, plans always have to be flexible.
Don't pressure them to do things.
Remember that when you're trying to get them to pick up some of the housecleaning or go out to an event with you, they're weighing that against being able to take a shower, get dressed afterwards or manage to get out of bed.
You can't judge what they're capable of by what they manage on their good days when they're pushing hard because they want something.
That activity you find so exciting that you think would be so good for them may not be possible or may not be practical compared to something else they'd rather do with their limited energy. , Learning to deal with Fibromyalgia takes time and the more support you can give them in the early days, the easier you can make this process.
It's a learning process for both of you.
Many things you take for granted in life are no longer practical or can't be counted on for someone with fibromyalgia. , This can be frustrating and make life unpredictable.
Try to "go with the flow" as much as possible and not make the person feel guilty for breaking plans at the last minute.
Always assume that your loved one is trying as hard as possible to keep up with life.
It's much more common for people with fibromyalgia to overestimate what they can do and try too hard than to lay back and give up. -
Step 3: Grief is something that comes later
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Step 4: when an individual starts to realise and have to accept that there are things they are no longer able to do.
-
Step 5: Help the individual during the time taken to diagnosis this condition.
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Step 6: Take the time to research and read about this condition in order to help them to deal with this condition.
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Step 7: It takes time and understanding to help them deal with their limitations.
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Step 8: Let them do the things they wish to do (such as cleaning house
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Step 9: shopping
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Step 10: arts and crafts
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Step 11: or light yard work ... Don't fuss at them even though you feel that they will ultimately hurt because of their efforts.
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Step 12: Be there to pick them up when they crash or "hit the wall"
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Step 13: either physically or emotionally.
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Step 14: Remember that symptoms will vary from day to day.
Detailed Guide
If you really care for a person, why would you think they could or would make up a tale about having unexplained or uncontrollable pain.
Especially pain that isn't eased by medicine.
It can be something as simple as not be able to hold a knife or a peeler to prepare veg.
It is part of the process, and comes in stages; as fibromyalgia slowly manifests itself, it causes a real loss in all areas of life.
What matters most to them may not be what you think, their priorities may be different.
Give them time to grieve and don't expect the person with fibromyalgia to be cheery about it and take care of your feelings. , Diagnosing fibromyalgia is limited to information gathering rather than lab tests, x-rays, etc.
The symptoms are numerous and can mimic other symptoms of illnesses such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and other medical conditions
- it is a process of elimination in most instances and this can be timely and tiring.
Go to doctor's appointments with them and explain their symptoms to the doctor.
Doctors don't listen to what the patient says, they're too concerned with the patient's body language, tone, a thousand symptoms the patient may not even be aware of.
Specialists will read these symptoms within their specialty.
Doctors do listen to caretakers and healthy friends or family members of a sick person, so you can eliminate lengthy, costly misdiagnoses with this simple favor.
Also, pain and fatigue from fibromyalgia can interfere with the patient's ability to communicate in an organized way, while you're not being sick gives you the advantage of being able to present the information in a more coherent way. , Many with fibromyalgia feel that people don't understand their condition and this creates a great deal of anxiety and ultimately feelings of doubt.
Stress causes symptoms to flare, so anxiety and doubt will make your loved one a lot sicker, often very fast. , Self-worth becomes an issue as time goes by and they begin to realize they are limited and can no longer do the things they once could.
It's also important not to expect them to do things they can't or get angry if they try some day to day activity and fail.
Fatigue may make them crabby and tearful like a toddler who's been up too long without a nap.
Understand this and don't pick up a circular argument at the point your loved one is stumbling like a drunk.
That can set off a bigger flare and make things go worse fast.
Don't ask your loved one to remind you of things.
The shame of forgetting to give a reminder is excruciating.
It's like asking the guy who's got a bad back to pick up a heavy load
- just remembering to take medications on time and other necessary routine things is an enormous effort for someone with fibromyalgia.
Pain can have the same effects on mood as depression, the big difference is that pain medication lightens mood as fast as the right anti-depressant does for someone with chronic fatigue.
If your loved one starts spiraling down and sounds hopeless, miserable, fault finding with self or others, defeated... just ask if they've taken their pain medication.
That reminder can spare them hours of agony.
Even if they are depressed, the pain makes it so much worse that the pills will probably help. , Learning their limitations is one of the hardest things they will have to deal with.
Likewise, don't count on them for routine tasks and activities.
Life for someone with fibromyalgia becomes a matter of seizing "Launch windows" when their body's functioning better than usual, to accomplish as much as possible before the crash.
Let them set the pace and don't get angry when they can't manage something they thought they could.
Almost all people with fibromyalgia overestimate what they can do and make plans they can't carry through on.
It can take years to learn how to plan around it and even then, plans always have to be flexible.
Don't pressure them to do things.
Remember that when you're trying to get them to pick up some of the housecleaning or go out to an event with you, they're weighing that against being able to take a shower, get dressed afterwards or manage to get out of bed.
You can't judge what they're capable of by what they manage on their good days when they're pushing hard because they want something.
That activity you find so exciting that you think would be so good for them may not be possible or may not be practical compared to something else they'd rather do with their limited energy. , Learning to deal with Fibromyalgia takes time and the more support you can give them in the early days, the easier you can make this process.
It's a learning process for both of you.
Many things you take for granted in life are no longer practical or can't be counted on for someone with fibromyalgia. , This can be frustrating and make life unpredictable.
Try to "go with the flow" as much as possible and not make the person feel guilty for breaking plans at the last minute.
Always assume that your loved one is trying as hard as possible to keep up with life.
It's much more common for people with fibromyalgia to overestimate what they can do and try too hard than to lay back and give up.
About the Author
Edward Myers
Specializes in breaking down complex pet care topics into simple steps.
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