How to Ignore a Verbal Bully
Stop acknowledging the bully's presence., Don't talk to the bully., Avoid eye contact with the bully., Talk to someone in a position of authority or end the relationship., Avoid the bully, if possible., Travel with friends., Evaluate the bullying...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stop acknowledging the bully's presence.
Your first step in ignoring the bully is to not acknowledge the bully's presence.
If you acknowledge their presence, you'll give them power and they'll probably try to engage you in a discussion.
Don't greet the bully.
Don't acknowledge a greeting from the bully.
If someone you're with mentions the bully (while the bully is present), don't acknowledge it. -
Step 2: Don't talk to the bully.
By not talking to the bully, you'll empower yourself and disempower the bully.
Ultimately, you'll give the bully less opportunity to insult you or hurt your feelings.
Avoid asking the bully questions.
Avoid responding to the bully's questions.
If the bully interjects into another conversation, completely ignore what they say., In addition to not talking to the bully, you also need to avoid eye contact.
Avoiding eye contact will make it so the bully does not have the opportunity to intimidate your or engage you in a non-verbal way.
Keep your eyes focused on other people.
If you're walking by the bully, keep your eyes focused ahead of you and aimed at wherever you are going.
While you want to avoid eye contact with the bully, you also don't want to look at the ground or look downward.
This will give the impression that you are scared or vulnerable.
Always look up and be alert., After you’ve ignored the bully, you need to take steps to cut them out of your life.
To do this, you should talk to someone in a position of authority.
If you’re in an educational setting, talk to a teacher, professor, or administrator.
If you’re in a work environment, talk to human resources or a manager.
If you’re in a social or personal setting, consider talking to the police., While avoidance might not solve your long-term problem, minimizing contact with a verbal bully is always preferable to an uncomfortable and unhappy engagement.
Walk away from the bully.
If possible, rearrange your schedule to avoid the bully.
However, don't spend too much time or effort moving things around.
In the end, you need to resolve the issue without letting the bully win.
If you can avoid the bully by simply changing a route or a routine with little effort, do so.
Taking a route that is 30 seconds longer from a classroom to another classroom, or from an office to another office, might help you ignore the bully.
If you ever think that the bully is going to escalate from verbal insults to physical violence, you need to end the relationship immediately and contact the authorities., If you have to go around the bully for some reason, try to do so with friends.
Being with friends can provide a number of benefits to you.
Some benefits include:
It'll be easier to ignore the bully when you have friends around you.
The bully may be less likely to insult you or abuse you verbally.
Your friends may come to your defense.
You will have more confidence to stand up to the bully., Your first step in dealing with a verbal bully is to try to objectively evaluate the bullying.
By evaluating the bullying, you’ll gain a better understanding of nature of your relationship with the person and why they’re bullying you.
Consider the type of verbal bullying.
Is it personal or is the bully just mean to everyone? Think about whether the bully’s comments reflect their own negative self-image or insecurities.
If you think this might be the case, it’ll help you when you respond to the bully.
Is the bullying coming from a malicious place.
In other words, does the bully really want to cause you psychological or mental harm? If not, the bullying might just be a result of immaturity, insecurity, or something similar., After you’ve evaluated the verbal bully’s behavior, you should talk to a friend about it.
Chances are, your friend will be able to provide valuable insight into the bully's actions.
Your friend might also be able to give you an idea of how you can deal with the bully.
After the bully leaves, tell a friend about it.
Ask them what they think about the bully and what you should do about it.
Talk to a friend who might know the verbal bully better than you.
They might be able to provide insight into the bullying or they might even stand up for you. , When preparing to deal with a verbal bully, you need to think carefully about how you will respond to their bullying.
Thinking out your response and actions will give you power, leverage, and confidence.
Ultimately, there are a wide variety of ways you can respond to and ignore bully.
Decide what you’ll say to the bully before you ignore them.
Figure out if you’re just going to completely ignore the person being there, or will you ignore the abusive words they direct at you.
Think about whether you’re going to show emotion as the bully levies insults at you., When preparing to ignore a verbal bully, you should build up your own confidence.
After all, a lot of bullies feed off the fact that the people they bully lack confidence or are insecure.
If you demonstrate confidence and feel confident, you’ll be able to ignore the bully without showing signs of weakness or insecurity.
Tell yourself that you are a strong and capable person.
Remember that the bully's behavior is more of a reflection of how they feel about themselves than a reflection of your capabilities., Depending on the type of bully and their attitude, you might be able to actually engage them in a discussion about their behavior and the way they treat you.
This should really be your first step in responding to the bully before you try to ignore them.
Try to talk to the bully in a one-on-one setting.
This is important, as many verbal bullies feed off of bullying people in front of others.
If you get them away from a crowd, they may be a lot more receptive to what you actually have to say.
Ask the bully if they’d be willing to talk to you out of earshot of other people.
Say something like “I would really like to have a conversation about our relationship.” Tell the bully that you’d like to change the dynamic of your interaction.
Say something like “I’d appreciate it if we could have a more mutually-respectful relationship.” If you want, you can say something nice about the bully to boost their ego or their self-esteem.
After all, their bullying might be a manifestation of a lack of confidence., You need to keep your cool whenever dealing with a bully.
After all, if you let the bully get the best of you, they’ll win.
This is because bullies often want to see an emotional response from the people they bully.
Don’t let the bully win.
He or she might be trying to provoke you into an argument or a physical confrontation.
Don’t let them get the better of you.
Stay calm and rational.
Don’t respond to personal attacks.
You should always ignore these., Ultimately, standing up for yourself is one of the most important things you have to do when dealing with a bully.
The best way to do this is to directly tell the bully that you won't stand their abuse and you are going to ignore them and/or cut them out of your life entirely.
Make sure they know that you’re going to end the conflict without creating more conflict.
After all, you don’t want to escalate to further verbal abuse or to physical conflict.
Simply tell them that you are “done” with them and their behavior.
Depending on the setting (school, workplace, or your social circle) let them know that if they don’t cease their abuse, you will contact the proper authorities.
The bully might try to belittle you or intimidate you into not contacting the authorities.
Ignore these tactics and stay focused. -
Step 3: Avoid eye contact with the bully.
-
Step 4: Talk to someone in a position of authority or end the relationship.
-
Step 5: Avoid the bully
-
Step 6: if possible.
-
Step 7: Travel with friends.
-
Step 8: Evaluate the bullying.
-
Step 9: Consult a friend.
-
Step 10: Think about how to respond to the actual bullying.
-
Step 11: Have confidence.
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Step 12: Talk to the bully
-
Step 13: before you try to ignore them.
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Step 14: Keep your cool.
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Step 15: Let the bully know that you are unwilling to take their abuse.
Detailed Guide
Your first step in ignoring the bully is to not acknowledge the bully's presence.
If you acknowledge their presence, you'll give them power and they'll probably try to engage you in a discussion.
Don't greet the bully.
Don't acknowledge a greeting from the bully.
If someone you're with mentions the bully (while the bully is present), don't acknowledge it.
By not talking to the bully, you'll empower yourself and disempower the bully.
Ultimately, you'll give the bully less opportunity to insult you or hurt your feelings.
Avoid asking the bully questions.
Avoid responding to the bully's questions.
If the bully interjects into another conversation, completely ignore what they say., In addition to not talking to the bully, you also need to avoid eye contact.
Avoiding eye contact will make it so the bully does not have the opportunity to intimidate your or engage you in a non-verbal way.
Keep your eyes focused on other people.
If you're walking by the bully, keep your eyes focused ahead of you and aimed at wherever you are going.
While you want to avoid eye contact with the bully, you also don't want to look at the ground or look downward.
This will give the impression that you are scared or vulnerable.
Always look up and be alert., After you’ve ignored the bully, you need to take steps to cut them out of your life.
To do this, you should talk to someone in a position of authority.
If you’re in an educational setting, talk to a teacher, professor, or administrator.
If you’re in a work environment, talk to human resources or a manager.
If you’re in a social or personal setting, consider talking to the police., While avoidance might not solve your long-term problem, minimizing contact with a verbal bully is always preferable to an uncomfortable and unhappy engagement.
Walk away from the bully.
If possible, rearrange your schedule to avoid the bully.
However, don't spend too much time or effort moving things around.
In the end, you need to resolve the issue without letting the bully win.
If you can avoid the bully by simply changing a route or a routine with little effort, do so.
Taking a route that is 30 seconds longer from a classroom to another classroom, or from an office to another office, might help you ignore the bully.
If you ever think that the bully is going to escalate from verbal insults to physical violence, you need to end the relationship immediately and contact the authorities., If you have to go around the bully for some reason, try to do so with friends.
Being with friends can provide a number of benefits to you.
Some benefits include:
It'll be easier to ignore the bully when you have friends around you.
The bully may be less likely to insult you or abuse you verbally.
Your friends may come to your defense.
You will have more confidence to stand up to the bully., Your first step in dealing with a verbal bully is to try to objectively evaluate the bullying.
By evaluating the bullying, you’ll gain a better understanding of nature of your relationship with the person and why they’re bullying you.
Consider the type of verbal bullying.
Is it personal or is the bully just mean to everyone? Think about whether the bully’s comments reflect their own negative self-image or insecurities.
If you think this might be the case, it’ll help you when you respond to the bully.
Is the bullying coming from a malicious place.
In other words, does the bully really want to cause you psychological or mental harm? If not, the bullying might just be a result of immaturity, insecurity, or something similar., After you’ve evaluated the verbal bully’s behavior, you should talk to a friend about it.
Chances are, your friend will be able to provide valuable insight into the bully's actions.
Your friend might also be able to give you an idea of how you can deal with the bully.
After the bully leaves, tell a friend about it.
Ask them what they think about the bully and what you should do about it.
Talk to a friend who might know the verbal bully better than you.
They might be able to provide insight into the bullying or they might even stand up for you. , When preparing to deal with a verbal bully, you need to think carefully about how you will respond to their bullying.
Thinking out your response and actions will give you power, leverage, and confidence.
Ultimately, there are a wide variety of ways you can respond to and ignore bully.
Decide what you’ll say to the bully before you ignore them.
Figure out if you’re just going to completely ignore the person being there, or will you ignore the abusive words they direct at you.
Think about whether you’re going to show emotion as the bully levies insults at you., When preparing to ignore a verbal bully, you should build up your own confidence.
After all, a lot of bullies feed off the fact that the people they bully lack confidence or are insecure.
If you demonstrate confidence and feel confident, you’ll be able to ignore the bully without showing signs of weakness or insecurity.
Tell yourself that you are a strong and capable person.
Remember that the bully's behavior is more of a reflection of how they feel about themselves than a reflection of your capabilities., Depending on the type of bully and their attitude, you might be able to actually engage them in a discussion about their behavior and the way they treat you.
This should really be your first step in responding to the bully before you try to ignore them.
Try to talk to the bully in a one-on-one setting.
This is important, as many verbal bullies feed off of bullying people in front of others.
If you get them away from a crowd, they may be a lot more receptive to what you actually have to say.
Ask the bully if they’d be willing to talk to you out of earshot of other people.
Say something like “I would really like to have a conversation about our relationship.” Tell the bully that you’d like to change the dynamic of your interaction.
Say something like “I’d appreciate it if we could have a more mutually-respectful relationship.” If you want, you can say something nice about the bully to boost their ego or their self-esteem.
After all, their bullying might be a manifestation of a lack of confidence., You need to keep your cool whenever dealing with a bully.
After all, if you let the bully get the best of you, they’ll win.
This is because bullies often want to see an emotional response from the people they bully.
Don’t let the bully win.
He or she might be trying to provoke you into an argument or a physical confrontation.
Don’t let them get the better of you.
Stay calm and rational.
Don’t respond to personal attacks.
You should always ignore these., Ultimately, standing up for yourself is one of the most important things you have to do when dealing with a bully.
The best way to do this is to directly tell the bully that you won't stand their abuse and you are going to ignore them and/or cut them out of your life entirely.
Make sure they know that you’re going to end the conflict without creating more conflict.
After all, you don’t want to escalate to further verbal abuse or to physical conflict.
Simply tell them that you are “done” with them and their behavior.
Depending on the setting (school, workplace, or your social circle) let them know that if they don’t cease their abuse, you will contact the proper authorities.
The bully might try to belittle you or intimidate you into not contacting the authorities.
Ignore these tactics and stay focused.
About the Author
Jean Cox
Jean Cox specializes in educational content and has been creating helpful content for over 4 years. Jean is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.
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