How to Know if You're Being Used for Sex

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Think about how your partner usually gets in touch.

   Do they call you at random times, and usually at the last minute to hook up?  A dead giveaway is the 2:00 in-the-morning text that reads something like this:  "Hey baby, what are you doing?  Wanna meet up?"  What they really mean is: "Get over here, take your clothes off, and then leave once I've had my way with you.
   
   Don't let the door hit you on the way out." However, they will tell you anything they think you want to hear to get you into bed.
   
   Don't be fooled into believing your partner wants anything more from you.
   
   Unless the two of you are meeting up often for non-sexual activities, any person who texts you at the end of the night is sending you a clear signal that you are only good for one thing.  They assume you are available at they convenience, and they think so little of you that they:
   A)  doesn't think you're special enough to take on a date and be seen with in public, and B)  think you have no life and will put all plans aside to be with him.
   
   Basically, they think you are easy and desperate.
   
   Prove them wrong.
2. 2

   Step 2: Do not text or call first.

    See if they initiate contact.  If they don't, you have your answer.  There is no need to read between the lines. , If your partner tells you one thing, but their actions say another, always believe the actions.
   
   Actions are the most honest form of communication.  Be painfully honest with yourself:
   Does your partner treat you with respect and dignity? If you have to pause before answering this question, the answer is probably "no."  Hold your head high and walk away. , If the two of you never leave the house together, chances are your partner only wants you for one thing.  A partner who is truly into you will want to take you out, show you off to their friends, and spend quality time with you outside of the bedroom as well. , If your partner is committed to someone else while having an affair with you, this is a dangerous sign.  If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Statistics back up this theory.  Walk away now and maintain your dignity. ,  If their compliments revolve mainly around your physical attributes, then they are objectifying you.  It is normal for a person to be drawn to you for your looks, but they shouldn't value you only because they find you alluring.  Ask them what else they like about you, and if they struggle to find words or only use generic descriptors (e.g. "smart and funny and kind," which could describe almost anyone), then it's unlikely your partner values your personality much.
   
   Spare them the headache and make a beeline for the door.
   
   Keep in mind that some partners may struggle to quickly form words, especially ones who are autistic or have social anxiety.
   
   If your partner seems to genuinely respect you but acts flustered when asked questions like this, don't worry. (S)he probably cares deeply about you and simply can't think on the spot. , If you have been hooking up for more than one month and you still aren't exclusive, your partner probably isn't interested in a romantic relationship.  Your partner may be using you until something better comes along. , Place more weight on what they say afterwards.
   
   As they bask in post-coital bliss, they no longer have a strong motive to lie.
   
   Notice how your partner treats you during those critical moments.
3. 3

   Step 3: Look at what your partner does

4. 4

   Step 4: not what they say.

5. 5

   Step 5: Think about the kinds of "dates" you have.

6. 6

   Step 6: Beware of cheaters.

7. 7

   Step 7: Reflect on what your partner says they like about you.

8. 8

   Step 8: Look at the timeline.

9. 9

   Step 9: Be skeptical of what someone tells you before you have sex.

Detailed Guide

About the Author