How to Know if You're Too Nice for Your Own Good
Pay attention to how often you say “yes” to requests., Make a list of how often you take on other people’s work for them., Reflect on how often you apologize., Identify how often you put other people’s needs ahead of your needs.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Pay attention to how often you say “yes” to requests.
It is fine to be willing to help out your friends, family, and coworkers when you can, but problems may arise if you are always saying "yes" and never saying "no."Think about how many times you have said yes when people ask you to do something for them.
Do you ever say no? If you say yes most of the time, then you may be too compliant and people may even be taking advantage of your willingness to help all of the time.
This can be harmful to you since saying yes constantly can cut down on your free time and make it difficult to take care of the things that you need to.
Try to practice saying no when you do not want to do something.
You can simply say, "No." Or, you can say something like, "No, I can't do that." -
Step 2: Make a list of how often you take on other people’s work for them.
If a friend or coworker is overwhelmed, do you tend to offer to do things for them, or let them struggle through on their own? It is fine to offer your assistance now and then, but if you are regularly picking up the slack for someone, then they might be taking advantage of your kindness.For example, if you have a friend who often puts off doing his homework, and you often end up completing it for him, then you are being too accommodating.
The next time someone tries to get you to finish his or her work, try saying something like, “I am happy to help you out now and then, but I feel like I have been doing this more than I have the time or energy to.
Have you talked to your parents/teacher/boss about the challenges you are facing with completing your work?” , People who are too nice are often people pleasers, and this can cause them to apologize profusely for their actions.
It is normal to apologize when you are genuinely at fault for something.
However, if you apologize constantly for minor offenses, or even just out of habit, then you may be too worried about other people’s reactions.Before you apologize to someone, consider whether it is really necessary.
Were you really at fault? Or are you just worried about how the other person might react? For example, if you are late for meeting a friend, then it is appropriate to say, “I’m sorry I was late.” However, you do not need to apologize 20 times for being a little late. , It is fine to think about other people and try to be kind to tem.
However, if you are always placing the needs of other people before you own, then you may be being too nice.For example, if a friend asks for your help moving into her new apartment, and you already have plans to go out of town with your boyfriend for the weekend, then you should not cancel your plans to accommodate your friend. -
Step 3: Reflect on how often you apologize.
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Step 4: Identify how often you put other people’s needs ahead of your needs.
Detailed Guide
It is fine to be willing to help out your friends, family, and coworkers when you can, but problems may arise if you are always saying "yes" and never saying "no."Think about how many times you have said yes when people ask you to do something for them.
Do you ever say no? If you say yes most of the time, then you may be too compliant and people may even be taking advantage of your willingness to help all of the time.
This can be harmful to you since saying yes constantly can cut down on your free time and make it difficult to take care of the things that you need to.
Try to practice saying no when you do not want to do something.
You can simply say, "No." Or, you can say something like, "No, I can't do that."
If a friend or coworker is overwhelmed, do you tend to offer to do things for them, or let them struggle through on their own? It is fine to offer your assistance now and then, but if you are regularly picking up the slack for someone, then they might be taking advantage of your kindness.For example, if you have a friend who often puts off doing his homework, and you often end up completing it for him, then you are being too accommodating.
The next time someone tries to get you to finish his or her work, try saying something like, “I am happy to help you out now and then, but I feel like I have been doing this more than I have the time or energy to.
Have you talked to your parents/teacher/boss about the challenges you are facing with completing your work?” , People who are too nice are often people pleasers, and this can cause them to apologize profusely for their actions.
It is normal to apologize when you are genuinely at fault for something.
However, if you apologize constantly for minor offenses, or even just out of habit, then you may be too worried about other people’s reactions.Before you apologize to someone, consider whether it is really necessary.
Were you really at fault? Or are you just worried about how the other person might react? For example, if you are late for meeting a friend, then it is appropriate to say, “I’m sorry I was late.” However, you do not need to apologize 20 times for being a little late. , It is fine to think about other people and try to be kind to tem.
However, if you are always placing the needs of other people before you own, then you may be being too nice.For example, if a friend asks for your help moving into her new apartment, and you already have plans to go out of town with your boyfriend for the weekend, then you should not cancel your plans to accommodate your friend.
About the Author
Edward Hart
Experienced content creator specializing in lifestyle guides and tutorials.
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