How to Leave the Mormon Church Gracefully

Think long and hard about what you are deciding to do., Write out a list of reasons why you are leaving the church., Do some research on the actual doctrines and practices of the Church over time., Many ex-Mormons and people considering leaving the...

10 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Think long and hard about what you are deciding to do.

    When you decide to leave the Mormon church, outline your reasons very clearly in your mind and have confidence in your decision.

    If you're certain that you'll never want to re-join the Church, write a letter to the Bishop and request to have your name removed from church records.
  2. Step 2: Write out a list of reasons why you are leaving the church.

    Sometimes it helps to have something solid to look at when Mormon family and friends try to convince you otherwise of your decisions. , Many people find it is much easier to leave the church once they come to a solid decision. , Doing so is a good way to expand your understanding of the church and strengthen your resolve.

    There are many websites, archives, and blogs on the internet which you can turn to to find a diverse and supportive community of people willing to help you make the transition out of the church. , Attempting to help them understand your reasons is likely to only result in frustration and increased friction with the Mormons who remain in your life.

    Faith does not rely on facts, so presenting evidence to people determined to believe is generally a waste of time and energy. , When invited by members to attend, decline politely.

    If they insist, tell them you'll think about it and then give it some actual thought, but always remain true to yourself. , Be friendly, but politely and assertively tell them that you will no longer be attending church activities or functions. , Talk to people about your feelings if you're feeling guilty/upset.

    Ask yourself why you feel that way. , Make sure to include your full name, your date of birth, your current address and today’s date.

    Address your letter to:
    Member Records Division, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E North Temple Room 1372, Salt Lake City UT 84150-5310. (Actually you should address it to the Bishop of your ward.

    If you send it to Salt Lake they will most likely refer you back to your Bishop anyway.) An example is one written below:
    This letter is my formal resignation, effective immediately, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and 'discipline'.

    As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently removed from the membership rolls of the church.

    I have given this matter considerable thought.

    I understand the 'seriousness' and 'consequences' of my actions.

    I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings".

    I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (Church Handbook of Instructions) My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'.

    I have made up my mind and cannot be dissuaded.

    I expect my request to be handled promptly, respectfully and with confidentiality.

    As of today, the only contact I wish from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    Sincerely, your signature followed by your printed name.
  3. Step 3: Do some research on the actual doctrines and practices of the Church over time.

  4. Step 4: Many ex-Mormons and people considering leaving the church find it helpful to seek out and talk to or read blogs and articles by others who have left the church.

  5. Step 5: Don't try to explain to others why you are leaving.

  6. Step 6: Stop going to church activities.

  7. Step 7: Tell those who ask about you that you appreciate their concern and that you are searching your heart to make decisions that are right for you.

  8. Step 8: Find something to do that makes you feel good on days you would normally go to church related activities and programs.

  9. Step 9: If you made a final decision

  10. Step 10: write a letter to Church Records.

Detailed Guide

When you decide to leave the Mormon church, outline your reasons very clearly in your mind and have confidence in your decision.

If you're certain that you'll never want to re-join the Church, write a letter to the Bishop and request to have your name removed from church records.

Sometimes it helps to have something solid to look at when Mormon family and friends try to convince you otherwise of your decisions. , Many people find it is much easier to leave the church once they come to a solid decision. , Doing so is a good way to expand your understanding of the church and strengthen your resolve.

There are many websites, archives, and blogs on the internet which you can turn to to find a diverse and supportive community of people willing to help you make the transition out of the church. , Attempting to help them understand your reasons is likely to only result in frustration and increased friction with the Mormons who remain in your life.

Faith does not rely on facts, so presenting evidence to people determined to believe is generally a waste of time and energy. , When invited by members to attend, decline politely.

If they insist, tell them you'll think about it and then give it some actual thought, but always remain true to yourself. , Be friendly, but politely and assertively tell them that you will no longer be attending church activities or functions. , Talk to people about your feelings if you're feeling guilty/upset.

Ask yourself why you feel that way. , Make sure to include your full name, your date of birth, your current address and today’s date.

Address your letter to:
Member Records Division, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E North Temple Room 1372, Salt Lake City UT 84150-5310. (Actually you should address it to the Bishop of your ward.

If you send it to Salt Lake they will most likely refer you back to your Bishop anyway.) An example is one written below:
This letter is my formal resignation, effective immediately, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs and 'discipline'.

As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently removed from the membership rolls of the church.

I have given this matter considerable thought.

I understand the 'seriousness' and 'consequences' of my actions.

I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings".

I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (Church Handbook of Instructions) My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'.

I have made up my mind and cannot be dissuaded.

I expect my request to be handled promptly, respectfully and with confidentiality.

As of today, the only contact I wish from the church is a single letter of confirmation to let me know that I am no longer a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Sincerely, your signature followed by your printed name.

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Edward Peterson

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