How to Let Your Feelings Show
Consider why you find it hard to let your feelings show., Think about the ways you'd like to show your feelings., Choose to reveal some feelings, rather than trying to become a touchy-feely personality., Choose the right people to show your feelings...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider why you find it hard to let your feelings show.
If you've become used to guarding your emotions, feelings and expressions, then it may be hard to see showing feelings as normal behavior.
If you've been hurt in the past and decided that hiding feelings was safer, then you at least have a reason behind your choice that you can further investigate.
On the other hand, if hiding your feelings or not even having the desire to reveal them has always driven you, it may be more difficult to work out why you don't let them show.
It is important to be certain as to why you want to let them show, otherwise you may end up doing something that only leaves you feeling uncomfortable and exposed. -
Step 2: Think about the ways you'd like to show your feelings.
You can talk about feelings and express them verbally.
You can cry, smile, laugh, shake your fists, growl, yell, make faces, flush red, do cartwheels, etc.
Choose the ways that you consider best express your feelings at the time they arise.
There is no right or wrong way but do be aware that you'll need to use language, either written or spoken, to be absolutely clear when conveying your feelings to another person.
While body language and sounds can convey a lot of meaning, clarity is helped through language and the use of clear, straightforward words.
Realize that even without trying, your body will often show how you truly feel.
It can be helpful to learn to read those signs in others, and in yourself. , There are gradations of showing feelings.
It's not recommended that you turn from the strong and silent type into a drama king or queen.
That's not who you are and it won't benefit you to become gushy and to let out raw emotion constantly.
Instead, aim to slowly unfold some of your feelings that are positive and likely to encourage positive responses from others.
For example, you could choose to show more happiness and appreciation for what others do for you than you have in the past.
You could also choose to not express feelings that you consider will expose you to people's criticism or unwanted reactions, such as anger, annoyance or fear. , Begin with people you trust completely and upon whom you can rely.
These trustworthy people are likely to be family and close friends and they will be understanding of your desire to reveal more of yourself.
Choose people who love you unconditionally and will not judge you. , For example, if you're shy, have social anxiety or other conditions that might hamper your ability to show feelings, it may be helpful to seek counseling or to talk through your concerns with a person you trust and who offers good advice. , When you want to express your feelings but you feel tongue-tied because of the situation or person before you, let it be.
Sometimes words cannot express all that needs to be understood.
Other times, you may feel so anxious or scared, that it's hard to show feelings for fear of breaking down or cracking up.
For example, if you love someone who seems to hardly know you exist, it can be difficult to express your feelings because you're frightened that they might reject you. , Your feelings are a part of who you are and are valid.
People cannot tell you how to feel and should anyone dismiss your feelings, they are being thoughtless, unkind and, in some cases, manipulative.
Your feelings are yours alone, and are not to be controlled or dismissed by others.
Try to stay calm if someone insists that you cannot feel the way that you do.
They are mistaken, not you. , Just as people cannot dismiss your feelings from their perspective, nor can you expect to have others tell you that it's okay to feel as you do.
Feelings are personal to who you are and your reaction to events, comments, actions and attitudes is part of you.
If you want someone else to validate your feelings of sadness, happiness or anything else, then you allow them to control you.
Instead, if you are overwhelmed by your feelings, learn mindfulness or self-calming techniques in order to control over-reactions or being tied down to certain feelings.
If you want someone else to validate your feelings, you risk constant rejection.
It's okay for others to see your feelings and not like them.
It's not okay to ask others to like them so that you can feel better. , It's a fair exchange and likely to be a lot more enjoyable and connecting for both of you.
It is an important part of appreciating each other's existence. -
Step 3: Choose to reveal some feelings
-
Step 4: rather than trying to become a touchy-feely personality.
-
Step 5: Choose the right people to show your feelings to.
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Step 6: Deal with underlying issues that might be preventing you from showing your feelings.
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Step 7: Be gentle with yourself.
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Step 8: Remind yourself that you are a strong person inside.
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Step 9: Do not seek to have your feelings validated by others.
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Step 10: Make it a habit to not hide your feelings from someone who shows you theirs.
Detailed Guide
If you've become used to guarding your emotions, feelings and expressions, then it may be hard to see showing feelings as normal behavior.
If you've been hurt in the past and decided that hiding feelings was safer, then you at least have a reason behind your choice that you can further investigate.
On the other hand, if hiding your feelings or not even having the desire to reveal them has always driven you, it may be more difficult to work out why you don't let them show.
It is important to be certain as to why you want to let them show, otherwise you may end up doing something that only leaves you feeling uncomfortable and exposed.
You can talk about feelings and express them verbally.
You can cry, smile, laugh, shake your fists, growl, yell, make faces, flush red, do cartwheels, etc.
Choose the ways that you consider best express your feelings at the time they arise.
There is no right or wrong way but do be aware that you'll need to use language, either written or spoken, to be absolutely clear when conveying your feelings to another person.
While body language and sounds can convey a lot of meaning, clarity is helped through language and the use of clear, straightforward words.
Realize that even without trying, your body will often show how you truly feel.
It can be helpful to learn to read those signs in others, and in yourself. , There are gradations of showing feelings.
It's not recommended that you turn from the strong and silent type into a drama king or queen.
That's not who you are and it won't benefit you to become gushy and to let out raw emotion constantly.
Instead, aim to slowly unfold some of your feelings that are positive and likely to encourage positive responses from others.
For example, you could choose to show more happiness and appreciation for what others do for you than you have in the past.
You could also choose to not express feelings that you consider will expose you to people's criticism or unwanted reactions, such as anger, annoyance or fear. , Begin with people you trust completely and upon whom you can rely.
These trustworthy people are likely to be family and close friends and they will be understanding of your desire to reveal more of yourself.
Choose people who love you unconditionally and will not judge you. , For example, if you're shy, have social anxiety or other conditions that might hamper your ability to show feelings, it may be helpful to seek counseling or to talk through your concerns with a person you trust and who offers good advice. , When you want to express your feelings but you feel tongue-tied because of the situation or person before you, let it be.
Sometimes words cannot express all that needs to be understood.
Other times, you may feel so anxious or scared, that it's hard to show feelings for fear of breaking down or cracking up.
For example, if you love someone who seems to hardly know you exist, it can be difficult to express your feelings because you're frightened that they might reject you. , Your feelings are a part of who you are and are valid.
People cannot tell you how to feel and should anyone dismiss your feelings, they are being thoughtless, unkind and, in some cases, manipulative.
Your feelings are yours alone, and are not to be controlled or dismissed by others.
Try to stay calm if someone insists that you cannot feel the way that you do.
They are mistaken, not you. , Just as people cannot dismiss your feelings from their perspective, nor can you expect to have others tell you that it's okay to feel as you do.
Feelings are personal to who you are and your reaction to events, comments, actions and attitudes is part of you.
If you want someone else to validate your feelings of sadness, happiness or anything else, then you allow them to control you.
Instead, if you are overwhelmed by your feelings, learn mindfulness or self-calming techniques in order to control over-reactions or being tied down to certain feelings.
If you want someone else to validate your feelings, you risk constant rejection.
It's okay for others to see your feelings and not like them.
It's not okay to ask others to like them so that you can feel better. , It's a fair exchange and likely to be a lot more enjoyable and connecting for both of you.
It is an important part of appreciating each other's existence.
About the Author
Olivia Gordon
Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.
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