How to Live Happily Ever After
Love the whole person, flaws and all., Drop the fairy tale mentality., Keep the passion alive by surprising each other., Be willing to put in effort to keep the relationship strong., Make sure you're compatible., Don't get addicted to the past...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Love the whole person
When you make a commitment to someone, you have to be willing to accept their limitations as well as their good qualities.
While you might find it irritating that your partner is awkward at parties or doesn’t know how to fry an egg, don’t commit to a relationship expecting these things to change.
Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but if your expectations don’t match reality, you’re likely to end up disappointed.
Trying to change your partner will result in a lot of fighting.
You might even end up hurting his or her self esteem.
Realize that love means accepting a person for who he or she is, and getting the same acceptance in return.
Instead of focusing on what you wish would change, be grateful you found someone who accepts ‘’your’’ flaws, too. -
Step 2: flaws and all.
Research shows that people who believe that romantic love resembles the Cinderella story have a harder time facing the reality of relationships.As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Happiness isn't a goal, it's a by-product." If you expect to find a lover that will fill you with overwhelming ebullience every time you gaze in their eyes, odds are pretty high that you will be disappointed.
Talk to your partner about what makes you happy and learn what makes your partner happy as well.
Realize that the Disneyfied version of life is fun to watch in the movies, but it doesn’t bear much resemblance to real life.
Real life stretches past the glorious wedding day and into a future filled with stress and hardships to balance out the bliss.
Relationships can feel magical.
However, they don't actually operate on magic and serendipity, but on hard work, especially after the first few years. , That initial flame might die down a little after a few years of washing each other’s dirty dishes, but that doesn’t mean it has to completely go out.
Research shows that surprising each other by picking up new hobbies, trying new things together, and just generally embracing newness helps a couple stay interested in one another.
When you surprise each other, you get a taste of those butterflies you felt on your first few dates.Having pleasant date night activities is fine, but loses out to activities that are new and different.
Don't despair at the thought that the passion you felt when you first met won't last forever.
Many couples find that they appreciate the deepened trust and companionship that's earned only after years of dealing with life's ups and downs as a team more than the excitement of love's first sparks. , Every couple faces hardships: job loss, the illness and death of family members, the trials of having kids, financial duress.
All of these situations can put a lot of stress on a relationship.
When your relationship hits hurdles, making an effort to get through them will enable you to emerge stronger than ever.
Even if you strongly disagree with your partner, don’t let your underlying love and regard for the person waver.
Research shows that couples who resort to throwing insults during fights end up causing permanent damage to the relationship.Instead, fight in a loving way; argue about the issue at hand, instead of personally attacking your partner’s intelligence or abilities. , This can be tricky because no relationship is perfect and they all require work, but it is entirely possible that you're in a relationship that would require more work than finding a new partner.
It can be hard to take an objective look at something so personal, so use a few objective measures of compatibility:
Faith:
It can be extraordinarily difficult to make a relationship work if you don't share the same basic values.
This isn't to say that people of divergent faiths can't be happy together, but that they will usually have to work a lot harder at it.
Politics:
Our political beliefs are usually an extension of much deeper core values so differences in political beliefs often indicate fundamental differences in the way that we perceive the world.
Social:
If one half of the relationship likes to go out every night and the other half would prefer to curl up with a good book, it'll be much harder to find the mutual interests that will sustain your relationship.
Financial:
It's said that as many as half of divorces are rooted in arguments that stem from finances.
If one half of the relationship is determined to be a multimillionaire while the other would be happy with a modest house and plenty of time to hike, this will likely be a source for conflict later. , All too often people say things like "We don't talk like we used to," or "He's just not like the man I married".
In a long relationship, you have to be prepared for your partner to grow and mature.
We continue to mature throughout our lives and you can't expect somebody to act the same way they did a decade ago any more than you can realistically expect them to look the same as they did a decade ago.
Instead of focusing on the things you did together in the past, examine the people that you've become and focus on the things you will do together in the future. , Being in a relationship can increase people’s happiness, but it can also be a source of sadness.
You can have a happy life as a single person, too.
Don’t buy into the idea that the only way to live happily ever after is with a prince or princess, especially if you know deep down that something isn’t right. -
Step 3: Drop the fairy tale mentality.
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Step 4: Keep the passion alive by surprising each other.
-
Step 5: Be willing to put in effort to keep the relationship strong.
-
Step 6: Make sure you're compatible.
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Step 7: Don't get addicted to the past.
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Step 8: Don’t depend on a partner for happiness.
Detailed Guide
When you make a commitment to someone, you have to be willing to accept their limitations as well as their good qualities.
While you might find it irritating that your partner is awkward at parties or doesn’t know how to fry an egg, don’t commit to a relationship expecting these things to change.
Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but if your expectations don’t match reality, you’re likely to end up disappointed.
Trying to change your partner will result in a lot of fighting.
You might even end up hurting his or her self esteem.
Realize that love means accepting a person for who he or she is, and getting the same acceptance in return.
Instead of focusing on what you wish would change, be grateful you found someone who accepts ‘’your’’ flaws, too.
Research shows that people who believe that romantic love resembles the Cinderella story have a harder time facing the reality of relationships.As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Happiness isn't a goal, it's a by-product." If you expect to find a lover that will fill you with overwhelming ebullience every time you gaze in their eyes, odds are pretty high that you will be disappointed.
Talk to your partner about what makes you happy and learn what makes your partner happy as well.
Realize that the Disneyfied version of life is fun to watch in the movies, but it doesn’t bear much resemblance to real life.
Real life stretches past the glorious wedding day and into a future filled with stress and hardships to balance out the bliss.
Relationships can feel magical.
However, they don't actually operate on magic and serendipity, but on hard work, especially after the first few years. , That initial flame might die down a little after a few years of washing each other’s dirty dishes, but that doesn’t mean it has to completely go out.
Research shows that surprising each other by picking up new hobbies, trying new things together, and just generally embracing newness helps a couple stay interested in one another.
When you surprise each other, you get a taste of those butterflies you felt on your first few dates.Having pleasant date night activities is fine, but loses out to activities that are new and different.
Don't despair at the thought that the passion you felt when you first met won't last forever.
Many couples find that they appreciate the deepened trust and companionship that's earned only after years of dealing with life's ups and downs as a team more than the excitement of love's first sparks. , Every couple faces hardships: job loss, the illness and death of family members, the trials of having kids, financial duress.
All of these situations can put a lot of stress on a relationship.
When your relationship hits hurdles, making an effort to get through them will enable you to emerge stronger than ever.
Even if you strongly disagree with your partner, don’t let your underlying love and regard for the person waver.
Research shows that couples who resort to throwing insults during fights end up causing permanent damage to the relationship.Instead, fight in a loving way; argue about the issue at hand, instead of personally attacking your partner’s intelligence or abilities. , This can be tricky because no relationship is perfect and they all require work, but it is entirely possible that you're in a relationship that would require more work than finding a new partner.
It can be hard to take an objective look at something so personal, so use a few objective measures of compatibility:
Faith:
It can be extraordinarily difficult to make a relationship work if you don't share the same basic values.
This isn't to say that people of divergent faiths can't be happy together, but that they will usually have to work a lot harder at it.
Politics:
Our political beliefs are usually an extension of much deeper core values so differences in political beliefs often indicate fundamental differences in the way that we perceive the world.
Social:
If one half of the relationship likes to go out every night and the other half would prefer to curl up with a good book, it'll be much harder to find the mutual interests that will sustain your relationship.
Financial:
It's said that as many as half of divorces are rooted in arguments that stem from finances.
If one half of the relationship is determined to be a multimillionaire while the other would be happy with a modest house and plenty of time to hike, this will likely be a source for conflict later. , All too often people say things like "We don't talk like we used to," or "He's just not like the man I married".
In a long relationship, you have to be prepared for your partner to grow and mature.
We continue to mature throughout our lives and you can't expect somebody to act the same way they did a decade ago any more than you can realistically expect them to look the same as they did a decade ago.
Instead of focusing on the things you did together in the past, examine the people that you've become and focus on the things you will do together in the future. , Being in a relationship can increase people’s happiness, but it can also be a source of sadness.
You can have a happy life as a single person, too.
Don’t buy into the idea that the only way to live happily ever after is with a prince or princess, especially if you know deep down that something isn’t right.
About the Author
Claire Sanders
A passionate writer with expertise in cooking topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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