How to Live with an Overly Critical Person
Do not take negativity personally., Resist the urge to argue., Tune it out., Have compassion., Give in on occasion.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Do not take negativity personally.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not about you.
If a person is generally critical or negative, chances are they would complain about anyone.
When being criticized, try to calm yourself down and remember not to take it personally.
Consider the source of the criticism.
Is the person you're living with generally critical? Does he or she complain about work, school, and other friends? If so, this person may simply have a negative outlook.
Their criticism is a reflection of that worldview.
It is not an objective judgement of your character.Try to remember you're worthwhile.
There may be some thread of validity to the criticism.
We could all use to improve in some areas.
However, flaws and imperfections do not define your character.
Your roommate may be right when he points out you always forget to throw out empty milk containers.
However, he's choosing to focus on that flaw over your other qualities. -
Step 2: Resist the urge to argue.
It's almost always a bad idea to argue with a critical person.
If someone is overly critical, they do not want to resolve a conflict.
They simply want to complain.
Even if it's difficult, try to resist arguing.
Use empathetic listening when someone is being critical.
Simply repeat what the critical person is saying to you.
This shows you're listening without forcing you to give in to unreasonable demands.
This is a better technique than engaging in an argument.
For example, say something like, "So, I'm hearing you think it's unfair that I forgot to wash my dinner plate last night?"Critical people will often try to force you to engage with them.
If you respond empathetically, they may continue to level criticism.
Instead of arguing back, calmly state your opinion.
You could say, "I'm sorry that was frustrating for you, but I honestly forgot.
I'll just clean it up now and try to remember next time." If a person is very critical, they may continue to berate you past this point.
Do not egg the person on.
Simply continue to restate your opinion.
Eventually, the other person will get bored and back off., Sometimes, the best means to deal with overly critical people is to learn to ignore them.
For a critical person, complaining and nitpicking is simply a way of life.
Learn to tune it out.
Overly critical people thrive on conflict and drama.
The more you respond, the more likely they'll be to criticize.
Therefore, try just responding with monosyllabic answers.
When met with criticism, say something like, "Uh-huh," "Yeah," or "Okay."
Overly critical people are often unhappy themselves.
They often have unreasonably high expectations for their own achievements and personal conduct.
If someone you live with criticizes you frequently, have some compassion.
Understand you only have to deal with a critical person in the moment.
A critical person, on the other hand, has to deal with him or herself all the time.
There's a good chance your roommate, family member, romantic partner, or friend criticizes you because of his or her own sense of inadequacy.When someone is criticizing you, consider that person's perspective.
There may be reasons he or she is overly critical.
For example, say you're a college student living at home.
Your father may constantly berate you about your study habits.
Consider his perspective.
Maybe your dad never got a chance to go to school himself.
He could feel insecure in your presence as you're achieving something he never had the chance to achieve.
The criticism is not personal.
It's a reflection of your father's unhappiness.
Sometimes, simply having compassion for someone can ease your frustration with that person., If you're living with an overly critical person, sometimes it's easier to let go of minor things.
If your boyfriend bites your head off when you don't fold the laundry in a particular fashion, just to do it his way.
It's not a big concession to make and it can ease up on some tension.Even if someone is being unreasonably critical, there could be validity to their complaints.
As stated previously, we all have bad habits.
It can be annoying if your roommate complains continuously that you leave the bathroom floor wet after you shower.
However, someone could slip and fall.
Rather than getting annoyed, simply try to wipe up any water with a towel when you finish showering. -
Step 3: Tune it out.
-
Step 4: Have compassion.
-
Step 5: Give in on occasion.
Detailed Guide
The most important thing to remember is that it's not about you.
If a person is generally critical or negative, chances are they would complain about anyone.
When being criticized, try to calm yourself down and remember not to take it personally.
Consider the source of the criticism.
Is the person you're living with generally critical? Does he or she complain about work, school, and other friends? If so, this person may simply have a negative outlook.
Their criticism is a reflection of that worldview.
It is not an objective judgement of your character.Try to remember you're worthwhile.
There may be some thread of validity to the criticism.
We could all use to improve in some areas.
However, flaws and imperfections do not define your character.
Your roommate may be right when he points out you always forget to throw out empty milk containers.
However, he's choosing to focus on that flaw over your other qualities.
It's almost always a bad idea to argue with a critical person.
If someone is overly critical, they do not want to resolve a conflict.
They simply want to complain.
Even if it's difficult, try to resist arguing.
Use empathetic listening when someone is being critical.
Simply repeat what the critical person is saying to you.
This shows you're listening without forcing you to give in to unreasonable demands.
This is a better technique than engaging in an argument.
For example, say something like, "So, I'm hearing you think it's unfair that I forgot to wash my dinner plate last night?"Critical people will often try to force you to engage with them.
If you respond empathetically, they may continue to level criticism.
Instead of arguing back, calmly state your opinion.
You could say, "I'm sorry that was frustrating for you, but I honestly forgot.
I'll just clean it up now and try to remember next time." If a person is very critical, they may continue to berate you past this point.
Do not egg the person on.
Simply continue to restate your opinion.
Eventually, the other person will get bored and back off., Sometimes, the best means to deal with overly critical people is to learn to ignore them.
For a critical person, complaining and nitpicking is simply a way of life.
Learn to tune it out.
Overly critical people thrive on conflict and drama.
The more you respond, the more likely they'll be to criticize.
Therefore, try just responding with monosyllabic answers.
When met with criticism, say something like, "Uh-huh," "Yeah," or "Okay."
Overly critical people are often unhappy themselves.
They often have unreasonably high expectations for their own achievements and personal conduct.
If someone you live with criticizes you frequently, have some compassion.
Understand you only have to deal with a critical person in the moment.
A critical person, on the other hand, has to deal with him or herself all the time.
There's a good chance your roommate, family member, romantic partner, or friend criticizes you because of his or her own sense of inadequacy.When someone is criticizing you, consider that person's perspective.
There may be reasons he or she is overly critical.
For example, say you're a college student living at home.
Your father may constantly berate you about your study habits.
Consider his perspective.
Maybe your dad never got a chance to go to school himself.
He could feel insecure in your presence as you're achieving something he never had the chance to achieve.
The criticism is not personal.
It's a reflection of your father's unhappiness.
Sometimes, simply having compassion for someone can ease your frustration with that person., If you're living with an overly critical person, sometimes it's easier to let go of minor things.
If your boyfriend bites your head off when you don't fold the laundry in a particular fashion, just to do it his way.
It's not a big concession to make and it can ease up on some tension.Even if someone is being unreasonably critical, there could be validity to their complaints.
As stated previously, we all have bad habits.
It can be annoying if your roommate complains continuously that you leave the bathroom floor wet after you shower.
However, someone could slip and fall.
Rather than getting annoyed, simply try to wipe up any water with a towel when you finish showering.
About the Author
Jean Cox
Jean Cox specializes in educational content and has been creating helpful content for over 4 years. Jean is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.
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