How to Make a Girl Want You Back
Give the girl some space., Think about what went wrong., Make a game plan for addressing the problem., Work on yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Give the girl some space.
Though you may think that the best way to get your girl back is to fight for her tooth and nail, you're actually better off giving her some breathing room than fighting for her affection right away.
Unless it's getting serious between her and another guy and you're determined to break them up, you should play it cool until she has time to heal and to get a fresh perspective on the relationship.
This doesn't mean that you should cut off communication completely unless you think that's best.
But you shouldn't text her every five minutes or ask her to hang out with you all the time, unless you want to scare her off.
If you give her space, she'll also be more likely to think about you.
She'll think, "I haven't heard from in a while.
That must mean that he's just fine without me..." This will intrigue her and make her wonder what you're up to.
If she initiates a hang out early on, fine.
But don't come on too strong when you do get together.
Giving her space is also a sign of maturity.
This will make her want you even more.
It goes without saying: don't go too long before you swoop in enough again.
Wait long enough so she has time to heal, but not so long that she forgets all of the wonderful things about you.
Each situation is different
-- feel it out.
Though as a general rule, give it at least a few weeks, but no longer than two months. -
Step 2: Think about what went wrong.
While you're giving your girl some space, don't just sit idly by and wait for the clock to run its course.
Instead, think about why things ended between the two of you.
If it was something obvious like you not giving her enough time, great.
But if it was something more complicated
-- a combination of her not feeling appreciated enough and you spending too much time partying, for example
-- than you need to pinpoint the problem or problems that caused your love to fizzle out.
If she was the one who ended things, then you will have more of a challenge on your hands.
Think about all of the reasons she ended it; if she ended it abruptly, look through old emails or texts to see if you can pinpoint the problem.
If you're the one that ended it, then you may have a different challenge on your hands.
You have to convince her that you won't break her heart
-- again. , Once you've located the problem, it's up to you to find a solution.
If there are several problems, well, then you'll need to find several solutions, or an overarching solution that tackles all of these problems.
If it ended because you spent way too much time with your friends, find a way to make her a bigger priority by setting up weekly date nights and coming up with new things you want to do together.
If it ended because of your inability to communicate, practice honesty and compassion in your everyday relationships.
Part of fixing the problem will mean working on yourself.
There's no way that you were blameless in the relationship.
Another part of the game plan will mean that you'll have to work on how you perceive her; if her obsession with horses drove you nuts, find a way for it to not annoy you before you move on.
If you have to work out some major issues, then make a long-term plan for how you'll do it, whether it's going to therapy, dropping an addiction, or giving yourself a major personality overhaul in some regard. , Even if you think you've found the exact problem and solution that would win your girl back instantly, it's rarely ever that simple.
Instead, you need to work on making yourself a more desirable person overall.
When you come crawling back to your girl, she will see the difference.
This means working on yourself inside and out; though getting a new haircut won't impress her, looking like you're more happy to be alive and that you're more conscious of the image you're projecting will catch her attention.
Devote more time to your favorite hobbies, whether it's biking or mechanics.
Being more excited about your interests will make you a more fun person to talk to.
Work on developing a more positive attitude toward life.
If she feels happier just from being around you, then she'll be more likely to keep wanting to see you. -
Step 3: Make a game plan for addressing the problem.
-
Step 4: Work on yourself.
Detailed Guide
Though you may think that the best way to get your girl back is to fight for her tooth and nail, you're actually better off giving her some breathing room than fighting for her affection right away.
Unless it's getting serious between her and another guy and you're determined to break them up, you should play it cool until she has time to heal and to get a fresh perspective on the relationship.
This doesn't mean that you should cut off communication completely unless you think that's best.
But you shouldn't text her every five minutes or ask her to hang out with you all the time, unless you want to scare her off.
If you give her space, she'll also be more likely to think about you.
She'll think, "I haven't heard from in a while.
That must mean that he's just fine without me..." This will intrigue her and make her wonder what you're up to.
If she initiates a hang out early on, fine.
But don't come on too strong when you do get together.
Giving her space is also a sign of maturity.
This will make her want you even more.
It goes without saying: don't go too long before you swoop in enough again.
Wait long enough so she has time to heal, but not so long that she forgets all of the wonderful things about you.
Each situation is different
-- feel it out.
Though as a general rule, give it at least a few weeks, but no longer than two months.
While you're giving your girl some space, don't just sit idly by and wait for the clock to run its course.
Instead, think about why things ended between the two of you.
If it was something obvious like you not giving her enough time, great.
But if it was something more complicated
-- a combination of her not feeling appreciated enough and you spending too much time partying, for example
-- than you need to pinpoint the problem or problems that caused your love to fizzle out.
If she was the one who ended things, then you will have more of a challenge on your hands.
Think about all of the reasons she ended it; if she ended it abruptly, look through old emails or texts to see if you can pinpoint the problem.
If you're the one that ended it, then you may have a different challenge on your hands.
You have to convince her that you won't break her heart
-- again. , Once you've located the problem, it's up to you to find a solution.
If there are several problems, well, then you'll need to find several solutions, or an overarching solution that tackles all of these problems.
If it ended because you spent way too much time with your friends, find a way to make her a bigger priority by setting up weekly date nights and coming up with new things you want to do together.
If it ended because of your inability to communicate, practice honesty and compassion in your everyday relationships.
Part of fixing the problem will mean working on yourself.
There's no way that you were blameless in the relationship.
Another part of the game plan will mean that you'll have to work on how you perceive her; if her obsession with horses drove you nuts, find a way for it to not annoy you before you move on.
If you have to work out some major issues, then make a long-term plan for how you'll do it, whether it's going to therapy, dropping an addiction, or giving yourself a major personality overhaul in some regard. , Even if you think you've found the exact problem and solution that would win your girl back instantly, it's rarely ever that simple.
Instead, you need to work on making yourself a more desirable person overall.
When you come crawling back to your girl, she will see the difference.
This means working on yourself inside and out; though getting a new haircut won't impress her, looking like you're more happy to be alive and that you're more conscious of the image you're projecting will catch her attention.
Devote more time to your favorite hobbies, whether it's biking or mechanics.
Being more excited about your interests will make you a more fun person to talk to.
Work on developing a more positive attitude toward life.
If she feels happier just from being around you, then she'll be more likely to keep wanting to see you.
About the Author
Susan Flores
Enthusiastic about teaching organization techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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