How to Not Care What People Think
Accept yourself for who you are., Visualize successful outcomes instead of fearing embarrassment., Avoid second guessing every step you take., Don’t let someone’s negative judgment define who you are., Consider if a person judging you has good...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Accept yourself for who you are.
Be yourself, improve yourself where you can, and accept aspects of yourself that you can’t change.
Don’t try to change who you are just to please others.Make a list of all the things that you like about yourself and another of things you’d like to improve.
You can ask friends and family to help you build your list, since they may think of things you might not.
Think of specific steps you can take to improve, for example: “Sometimes I overreact and snap at other people.
Every time someone makes a statement, I should pause before responding and think about what to say before saying it.” Keep this list somewhere you will see it often, such as on your mirror or closet door.
Read over it at least once every day.
Accept things about yourself that you can’t change.
For example, you might wish you were taller, but that's not something you can change.
Instead of focusing on why you wish you were tall, try to think of little things that are nice about being shorter, like the fact that you’ll bump your head less.
Try to think of things about yourself that other people would likely envy and want to replicate. -
Step 2: Visualize successful outcomes instead of fearing embarrassment.
Try not to focus on failing, embarrassment, or on what other people will think if you do something wrong.
If you find yourself reliving embarrassing moments, consciously redirect yourself to something you have accomplished instead.
Break down goals into small pieces, and visualize yourself succeeding at each step.For example, if you want to be more confident when having conversations, break the goal into small parts: maintain eye contact, listen to the other person, nod when they make a point, ask them questions, and offer honest responses based on your own experiences.
If an outcome doesn’t turn out according to plan, try to learn from it instead of getting embarrassed.
Write down what you would do differently next time to help solidify what you have learned.
Remember that everything is a learning process and that no one is great at everything, especially on the first attempt. , Try not to assume that everyone is judging every little thing you do.
Before getting lost in a cycle of self-doubt, remind yourself that anyone worth your time has more to worry about than criticizing your every thought and action.Also, remind yourself that mistakes serve a purpose and are a necessary part of growth.
Do your best to notice when you start to overthink or second guess yourself.
Tell yourself, “Stop over-analyzing.
Calm down and don’t worry.” Self-reflection and learning from your mistakes are good things, provided you focus on positive growth instead of negative overthinking. , Keep a balanced perspective and don’t view a negative judgment as a permanent, absolute fact.
If you think there’s some truth in their judgment, use it as an opportunity to improve instead of letting it define you.For example, suppose someone says that you have a bad temper.
If you’ve barely interacted with them and they don’t know you at all, brush off their judgment.
However, if they’re a classmate or coworker who spends a lot of time with you, consider why they think you have a temper.
Work on developing strategies for keeping your cool, like counting while slowly breathing when you start feeling angry. , How a person expresses an opinion of you can let you know whether you should brush it off or take it to heart.
Ask yourself, “Does this person have my best interests in mind? Is this something I can work on to become a better person, or is it just a petty judgment that’s meant to insult me?” For example, your good friend might say, “You seem to be disconnected lately
- you don’t seem like yourself.” That’s a judgment you’d want to take to heart.
On the other hand, you’d want to just brush it off if someone you don’t know well says, “You never pay attention
- you’re so dumb!” Also, remember that petty judgements are usually meant to make the person feel better about themselves and not to hurt you.
Consider if you can find some empathy for the person and their self-esteem issues. -
Step 3: Avoid second guessing every step you take.
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Step 4: Don’t let someone’s negative judgment define who you are.
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Step 5: Consider if a person judging you has good intentions.
Detailed Guide
Be yourself, improve yourself where you can, and accept aspects of yourself that you can’t change.
Don’t try to change who you are just to please others.Make a list of all the things that you like about yourself and another of things you’d like to improve.
You can ask friends and family to help you build your list, since they may think of things you might not.
Think of specific steps you can take to improve, for example: “Sometimes I overreact and snap at other people.
Every time someone makes a statement, I should pause before responding and think about what to say before saying it.” Keep this list somewhere you will see it often, such as on your mirror or closet door.
Read over it at least once every day.
Accept things about yourself that you can’t change.
For example, you might wish you were taller, but that's not something you can change.
Instead of focusing on why you wish you were tall, try to think of little things that are nice about being shorter, like the fact that you’ll bump your head less.
Try to think of things about yourself that other people would likely envy and want to replicate.
Try not to focus on failing, embarrassment, or on what other people will think if you do something wrong.
If you find yourself reliving embarrassing moments, consciously redirect yourself to something you have accomplished instead.
Break down goals into small pieces, and visualize yourself succeeding at each step.For example, if you want to be more confident when having conversations, break the goal into small parts: maintain eye contact, listen to the other person, nod when they make a point, ask them questions, and offer honest responses based on your own experiences.
If an outcome doesn’t turn out according to plan, try to learn from it instead of getting embarrassed.
Write down what you would do differently next time to help solidify what you have learned.
Remember that everything is a learning process and that no one is great at everything, especially on the first attempt. , Try not to assume that everyone is judging every little thing you do.
Before getting lost in a cycle of self-doubt, remind yourself that anyone worth your time has more to worry about than criticizing your every thought and action.Also, remind yourself that mistakes serve a purpose and are a necessary part of growth.
Do your best to notice when you start to overthink or second guess yourself.
Tell yourself, “Stop over-analyzing.
Calm down and don’t worry.” Self-reflection and learning from your mistakes are good things, provided you focus on positive growth instead of negative overthinking. , Keep a balanced perspective and don’t view a negative judgment as a permanent, absolute fact.
If you think there’s some truth in their judgment, use it as an opportunity to improve instead of letting it define you.For example, suppose someone says that you have a bad temper.
If you’ve barely interacted with them and they don’t know you at all, brush off their judgment.
However, if they’re a classmate or coworker who spends a lot of time with you, consider why they think you have a temper.
Work on developing strategies for keeping your cool, like counting while slowly breathing when you start feeling angry. , How a person expresses an opinion of you can let you know whether you should brush it off or take it to heart.
Ask yourself, “Does this person have my best interests in mind? Is this something I can work on to become a better person, or is it just a petty judgment that’s meant to insult me?” For example, your good friend might say, “You seem to be disconnected lately
- you don’t seem like yourself.” That’s a judgment you’d want to take to heart.
On the other hand, you’d want to just brush it off if someone you don’t know well says, “You never pay attention
- you’re so dumb!” Also, remember that petty judgements are usually meant to make the person feel better about themselves and not to hurt you.
Consider if you can find some empathy for the person and their self-esteem issues.
About the Author
James Richardson
Enthusiastic about teaching hobbies techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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