How to Overcome a Blow to Your Ego
Check anger as soon as it appears., Diffuse frustration with mental re-framing., Avoid complaining., Congratulate yourself for recognizing that your ego is affecting your feelings., Take the blow as an opportunity.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Check anger as soon as it appears.
It’s healthy and natural to become upset when your ego takes a hit.
In fact, emotions such as anger are often the result of your ego responding to a perceived threat, and sending a message to your body that your mind is in distress.
In these contexts, it’s important to keep your emotions, especially anger, from getting the best of you.
When you act or speak out of anger, indignation, or defensiveness, you’ll likely wind up escalating whatever situation has aggravated your ego.If possible, take a moment to catch your breath before responding or reacting to whatever bruised your ego.
Breathe in deeply through your nose, and exhale through your mouth.
Repeat this sequence a few times.
Get up and move around if you’re able to.
Vigorous exercise can immediately help reduce the intensity of painful emotions. -
Step 2: Diffuse frustration with mental re-framing.
For instance, when you become upset, try to picture your ego as the voice in your head that’s running around screaming “This is an outrage!,” “It's not fair!,” and “I have to do something!” Until you’ve gotten your emotions in check, don’t act on this voice.If you favor reason to humor, simply think to yourself, "my ego has been hurt, but it’s entirely up to me how I respond." Acknowledging and validating your own autonomy this way will make you feel less like a victim and more capable of responding to a situation without your ego complicating matters further. , In simplest terms, complaining won’t help.
Complaints will keep your mind cycling through the negative aspects of whatever led to your bruised ego.
Accordingly, you should not only avoid complaining to others, but try to keep from complaining to yourself as well.When you feel yourself starting to say or think a complaint, remind yourself that there are better ways to handle the situation.
Instead of allowing yourself to keep thinking things like, "I can't believe they would do this to me!," think more objectively about the actual situation and what was said. , If you’ve realized that your ego has been wounded
- that’s a good thing! It means you're self aware, and that you recognize that you are not your ego, and that the feeling will pass.
This can be an empowering thing to remind yourself.Being more aware of your emotions will improve your ability to handle them.
Calling out your ego by recognizing when it tries to influence your thoughts and feelings will help too.
Think of your emotions as the growing pain of mental growth.
As you become more aware of your ego, you may find yourself thinking “oh boy, my ego is being silly,” instead of being hurt or upset in certain scenarios. , Believe it or not, this is one of the best ways to turn negative emotions into positive ones.
When you think and say things that reflect gratefulness, you can actually make yourself feel better.
Try it.Think to yourself, “It's a bummer that I feel this way right now, but i’m thankful that witnessing my boss treat us this way will serve as a reminder not to treat other people this way.” -
Step 3: Avoid complaining.
-
Step 4: Congratulate yourself for recognizing that your ego is affecting your feelings.
-
Step 5: Take the blow as an opportunity.
Detailed Guide
It’s healthy and natural to become upset when your ego takes a hit.
In fact, emotions such as anger are often the result of your ego responding to a perceived threat, and sending a message to your body that your mind is in distress.
In these contexts, it’s important to keep your emotions, especially anger, from getting the best of you.
When you act or speak out of anger, indignation, or defensiveness, you’ll likely wind up escalating whatever situation has aggravated your ego.If possible, take a moment to catch your breath before responding or reacting to whatever bruised your ego.
Breathe in deeply through your nose, and exhale through your mouth.
Repeat this sequence a few times.
Get up and move around if you’re able to.
Vigorous exercise can immediately help reduce the intensity of painful emotions.
For instance, when you become upset, try to picture your ego as the voice in your head that’s running around screaming “This is an outrage!,” “It's not fair!,” and “I have to do something!” Until you’ve gotten your emotions in check, don’t act on this voice.If you favor reason to humor, simply think to yourself, "my ego has been hurt, but it’s entirely up to me how I respond." Acknowledging and validating your own autonomy this way will make you feel less like a victim and more capable of responding to a situation without your ego complicating matters further. , In simplest terms, complaining won’t help.
Complaints will keep your mind cycling through the negative aspects of whatever led to your bruised ego.
Accordingly, you should not only avoid complaining to others, but try to keep from complaining to yourself as well.When you feel yourself starting to say or think a complaint, remind yourself that there are better ways to handle the situation.
Instead of allowing yourself to keep thinking things like, "I can't believe they would do this to me!," think more objectively about the actual situation and what was said. , If you’ve realized that your ego has been wounded
- that’s a good thing! It means you're self aware, and that you recognize that you are not your ego, and that the feeling will pass.
This can be an empowering thing to remind yourself.Being more aware of your emotions will improve your ability to handle them.
Calling out your ego by recognizing when it tries to influence your thoughts and feelings will help too.
Think of your emotions as the growing pain of mental growth.
As you become more aware of your ego, you may find yourself thinking “oh boy, my ego is being silly,” instead of being hurt or upset in certain scenarios. , Believe it or not, this is one of the best ways to turn negative emotions into positive ones.
When you think and say things that reflect gratefulness, you can actually make yourself feel better.
Try it.Think to yourself, “It's a bummer that I feel this way right now, but i’m thankful that witnessing my boss treat us this way will serve as a reminder not to treat other people this way.”
About the Author
James Reed
Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: