How to Overcome an Avoidant Personality Disorder
Identify the situations that you tend to avoid., Start putting yourself in social situations gradually., Get comfortable with discomfort., Leverage any social connections you already have., Find social activities you like., Be consistent.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify the situations that you tend to avoid.
Start by figuring out where you want to make improvements in your life.
Are you uncomfortable in all social situations, or do you avoid some situations more than others? Make a list of all the situations where you’d like to feel more at ease.For instance, you might want to speak up in class more often or feel less tense when you talk to your coworkers. -
Step 2: Start putting yourself in social situations gradually.
Look for easy ways you can push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Start with small interactions, like saying hi to a classmate or making small talk with a cashier.
Work your way up to more stressful interactions.You might want to keep a notebook where you jot down your interactions and how you felt at the time.
Having a record of your progress can encourage you to keep going.
Many people with social anxiety and AVPD get stuck on this step.
It takes determination to force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do.
Keep your goals in mind, and believe in your own ability to change. , It’s okay to feel awkward or unsure of yourself in some situations.
Even people with great social skills don’t always know what they’re doing.
Learn to take a deep breath and reassure yourself when you start feeling the urge to flee.Try telling yourself something like, “It’s normal to feel nervous,” or, “I’m doing fine, and I’ll be glad I did this later.” , If you have friends, invite them to hang out or go places with you more often.
Make an effort to talk to your coworkers, and participate in workplace lunches and happy hours.
If you don’t have much of a social network, ask your family members or friends to introduce you to some new people.
Consider telling your close friends or family members that you’re trying to become less avoidant.
They may be willing to help you practice your social skills and get out of the house more. , If you don’t enjoy going to rowdy bars or parties, don’t force yourself to do that.
Look for activities related to your hobbies or interests, so you’ll be more motivated to actually go.
For instance, if you’re into rock climbing, invite some people from work to go check out the new climbing gym in town with you. , Everything gets easier with practice, so keep putting yourself out there.
It takes time and patience to break bad habits and replace them with better ones.
If you stop putting in the effort to change, all your previous hard work will be wasted, so make a commitment to yourself and keep working. -
Step 3: Get comfortable with discomfort.
-
Step 4: Leverage any social connections you already have.
-
Step 5: Find social activities you like.
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Step 6: Be consistent.
Detailed Guide
Start by figuring out where you want to make improvements in your life.
Are you uncomfortable in all social situations, or do you avoid some situations more than others? Make a list of all the situations where you’d like to feel more at ease.For instance, you might want to speak up in class more often or feel less tense when you talk to your coworkers.
Look for easy ways you can push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Start with small interactions, like saying hi to a classmate or making small talk with a cashier.
Work your way up to more stressful interactions.You might want to keep a notebook where you jot down your interactions and how you felt at the time.
Having a record of your progress can encourage you to keep going.
Many people with social anxiety and AVPD get stuck on this step.
It takes determination to force yourself to do something you really don’t want to do.
Keep your goals in mind, and believe in your own ability to change. , It’s okay to feel awkward or unsure of yourself in some situations.
Even people with great social skills don’t always know what they’re doing.
Learn to take a deep breath and reassure yourself when you start feeling the urge to flee.Try telling yourself something like, “It’s normal to feel nervous,” or, “I’m doing fine, and I’ll be glad I did this later.” , If you have friends, invite them to hang out or go places with you more often.
Make an effort to talk to your coworkers, and participate in workplace lunches and happy hours.
If you don’t have much of a social network, ask your family members or friends to introduce you to some new people.
Consider telling your close friends or family members that you’re trying to become less avoidant.
They may be willing to help you practice your social skills and get out of the house more. , If you don’t enjoy going to rowdy bars or parties, don’t force yourself to do that.
Look for activities related to your hobbies or interests, so you’ll be more motivated to actually go.
For instance, if you’re into rock climbing, invite some people from work to go check out the new climbing gym in town with you. , Everything gets easier with practice, so keep putting yourself out there.
It takes time and patience to break bad habits and replace them with better ones.
If you stop putting in the effort to change, all your previous hard work will be wasted, so make a commitment to yourself and keep working.
About the Author
Mary Armstrong
A passionate writer with expertise in organization topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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