How to Persuade People
Understand how timing is everything., Get to know them., Speak in the affirmative., Lean on ethos, pathos, and logos., Generate a need.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand how timing is everything.
Knowing how to persuade people isn't just in words and body language
-- it's also in knowing the right time to talk to them.
If you approach people when they are more relaxed and open to discussion, you will most likely achieve faster, better results.
People are most persuadable immediately after thanking someone
-- they feel indebted.
What's more, they are at their most persuasive after being thanked
-- they feel entitled.
If someone thanks you, it's the perfect time to ask for a favor.
Sort of a what-goes-around-comes-around thing.
You scratched their back, now it's high time they scratch yours. -
Step 2: Get to know them.
A large part of whether or not persuasion is effective is based on the general rapport between you and your client/son/friend/employee.
If you don't know the person well, it's imperative to start building this rapport immediately
-- find common ground as soon as possible.
Humans, in general, feel safer around (and thus are more fond of) people that are similar to them.
So find parallels and make them known.
First talk about what interests them.
One of the best ways to get people to open up is to talk about what they're passionate about.
Ask intelligent, thoughtful questions about what interests them
-- and don't forget to mention why those interests interest you! Seeing that you're a kindred spirit will tell that person it's okay to be receptive and open to you.
Is that a picture of them skydiving on their desk? Crazy! You've just been looking into taking your first dive
-- but should you do it from 10,000 or 18,000 feet? What's their seasoned opinion? , If you say to your son or daughter, "Don't mess up your room," when what you mean to say is, "Tidy your room," you'll get nowhere. "Don't hesitate to contact me," is not the same as, "Call me on Thursday!" Whoever you're talking to won't know what you mean and therefore won't be able to give you what you want.
There is something to be said for clarity.
If you're obfuscating, the person may want to agree with you, but doesn't necessarily know what you're looking for.
Speaking in the affirmative will help you maintain directness and keep your intentions clear. , You know how in college you went through that Lit course that taught you about Aristotle's appeals? No? Well, here's your brush up.
The guy was smart
-- and these appeals are so human they remain true to this day.
Ethos
-- think credibility.
We tend to believe people whom we respect.
Why do you think spokesmen exist? For this exact appeal.
Here's an example:
Hanes.
Good underwear, respectable company.
Is that enough for you to buy their product? Well, maybe.
Wait, Michael Jordan has been sporting Hanes for over two decades?Sold! Pathos
-- relies on your emotions.
Everyone knows that SPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan and the sad music and the sad puppies.
That commercial is the worst.
Why? Because you watch it, you get sad, and you feel compelled to help the puppies.
Pathos at its finest.
Logos
-- that's the root of the word "logic." This is perhaps the most honest of the persuasion methods.
You simply state why the person you're talking to should agree with you.
That's why statistics are used so prevalently.
If you were told, "On average, adults who smoke cigarettes die 14 years earlier than nonsmokers," (which is true, by the way), and you believed you wanted to live a long, healthy life, logic would dictate that you stop.
Boom.
Persuasion. , This is rule #1 when it comes to persuasion.
After all, if there's no need for what you're trying to sell/get/do, it won't happen.
You don't need to be the next Bill Gates (though he definitely created a need)
-- all you have to do is look at Maslow's Hierarchy.
Think about different realms of need
-- whether it's physiological, safety and security, love and belongingness, self-esteem or self-actualization needs, you can certainly find an area that is missing something, something only you can improve.Create scarcity.
Apart from what we humans need to survive, almost everything has value on a relative scale.
Sometimes (maybe most of the time), we want things because other people want (or have) these things.
If you want somebody to want what you have (or are or do or if they just want you), you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself.
Supply in demand, after all.Create urgency.
In order to get people to act in the moment, you have to be able to invoke a sense of urgency.
If they’re not motivated enough to want whatever you have right now, it’s unlikely they’ll change their minds in the future.
You must persuade people in the present; it's all that matters. -
Step 3: Speak in the affirmative.
-
Step 4: Lean on ethos
-
Step 5: pathos
-
Step 6: and logos.
-
Step 7: Generate a need.
Detailed Guide
Knowing how to persuade people isn't just in words and body language
-- it's also in knowing the right time to talk to them.
If you approach people when they are more relaxed and open to discussion, you will most likely achieve faster, better results.
People are most persuadable immediately after thanking someone
-- they feel indebted.
What's more, they are at their most persuasive after being thanked
-- they feel entitled.
If someone thanks you, it's the perfect time to ask for a favor.
Sort of a what-goes-around-comes-around thing.
You scratched their back, now it's high time they scratch yours.
A large part of whether or not persuasion is effective is based on the general rapport between you and your client/son/friend/employee.
If you don't know the person well, it's imperative to start building this rapport immediately
-- find common ground as soon as possible.
Humans, in general, feel safer around (and thus are more fond of) people that are similar to them.
So find parallels and make them known.
First talk about what interests them.
One of the best ways to get people to open up is to talk about what they're passionate about.
Ask intelligent, thoughtful questions about what interests them
-- and don't forget to mention why those interests interest you! Seeing that you're a kindred spirit will tell that person it's okay to be receptive and open to you.
Is that a picture of them skydiving on their desk? Crazy! You've just been looking into taking your first dive
-- but should you do it from 10,000 or 18,000 feet? What's their seasoned opinion? , If you say to your son or daughter, "Don't mess up your room," when what you mean to say is, "Tidy your room," you'll get nowhere. "Don't hesitate to contact me," is not the same as, "Call me on Thursday!" Whoever you're talking to won't know what you mean and therefore won't be able to give you what you want.
There is something to be said for clarity.
If you're obfuscating, the person may want to agree with you, but doesn't necessarily know what you're looking for.
Speaking in the affirmative will help you maintain directness and keep your intentions clear. , You know how in college you went through that Lit course that taught you about Aristotle's appeals? No? Well, here's your brush up.
The guy was smart
-- and these appeals are so human they remain true to this day.
Ethos
-- think credibility.
We tend to believe people whom we respect.
Why do you think spokesmen exist? For this exact appeal.
Here's an example:
Hanes.
Good underwear, respectable company.
Is that enough for you to buy their product? Well, maybe.
Wait, Michael Jordan has been sporting Hanes for over two decades?Sold! Pathos
-- relies on your emotions.
Everyone knows that SPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan and the sad music and the sad puppies.
That commercial is the worst.
Why? Because you watch it, you get sad, and you feel compelled to help the puppies.
Pathos at its finest.
Logos
-- that's the root of the word "logic." This is perhaps the most honest of the persuasion methods.
You simply state why the person you're talking to should agree with you.
That's why statistics are used so prevalently.
If you were told, "On average, adults who smoke cigarettes die 14 years earlier than nonsmokers," (which is true, by the way), and you believed you wanted to live a long, healthy life, logic would dictate that you stop.
Boom.
Persuasion. , This is rule #1 when it comes to persuasion.
After all, if there's no need for what you're trying to sell/get/do, it won't happen.
You don't need to be the next Bill Gates (though he definitely created a need)
-- all you have to do is look at Maslow's Hierarchy.
Think about different realms of need
-- whether it's physiological, safety and security, love and belongingness, self-esteem or self-actualization needs, you can certainly find an area that is missing something, something only you can improve.Create scarcity.
Apart from what we humans need to survive, almost everything has value on a relative scale.
Sometimes (maybe most of the time), we want things because other people want (or have) these things.
If you want somebody to want what you have (or are or do or if they just want you), you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself.
Supply in demand, after all.Create urgency.
In order to get people to act in the moment, you have to be able to invoke a sense of urgency.
If they’re not motivated enough to want whatever you have right now, it’s unlikely they’ll change their minds in the future.
You must persuade people in the present; it's all that matters.
About the Author
Edward West
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow cooking tutorials.
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