How to Pretend to Get on Well with Someone
Know the person's name., Speak to the person., Ask them questions about themselves., Respond with calm if the person insists on trying to upset you., Look for the good in this person., Be circumspect when asked by others how you find this person...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know the person's name.
If you can't remember it, write it down or use some mnemonic device to recall it with ease.
People are more liable to like you if you remember and use their name in conversation. -
Step 2: Speak to the person.
If you find that they are not being very nice, avoid responding in kind.
Instead, keep on being nice yourself and make it hard for them to fault you. , Be a good listener and show that you're actively digesting the information that they're sharing with you.
By getting them to talk about themselves more, they will feel pleased to be heard and will respect your willingness to give them the opportunity to talk.
Avoid controversial topics, especially if you're aware that this person is well known for ranting or for being highly opinionated.
If he or she does get onto such pet topics, smile politely and take the first possible opportunity to change the subject. , If the person is mean, annoying or rude towards you, stay calm and respond in a normal voice.
If they're trying to be bossy, thank them for their suggestion but be clear that you are still happy to proceed with the matter in your own way.
Be assertive, not aggressive or passive.
Respond with "I" statements, making your own position clear and not reflecting any of the attitude of the person you don't much like.
Consider making a complaint to someone, if relevant.
However, this should only be a last resort, as it will not help you to get along with this person. , That may feel hard if they're belittling, blustering or boring but every person has something good within that you can locate and hang onto.
This isn't the same as liking the person or wanting to spend any extra time with them, it's about trying your best to see what's special about the person.
To be more mercenary, if you're in a job or doing a deal with this person, finding that good part could also be about finding out the best way to utilize that person's skills to forward your own or the workplace's needs. , Stay polite and simply inform the requester that you respect each person for their skills and talents and that X certainly has good talent Y and great skill X.
This avoids having to say anything about X's rotten personal skills or stinking attitude.
Don't freak out if asked this.
Go straight into pointing out the good you noticed and nothing more.
If the person asking is hopeful for a bit of gossip, smile and simply say that you haven't a clue.
Don't begin to gossip, as it always gets back somehow.
Indeed, you can't be sure of the motives of the person asking you this... , Be polite, recognize the short duration of the moment, then move on with your life in your way.
There is no guarantee in life of always meeting people you like and avoiding those who bother you.
The best response is to expect that you won't like everyone but that you still have a responsibility to respect their dignity, to be polite and to not allow them to railroad you into feeling less than them. -
Step 3: Ask them questions about themselves.
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Step 4: Respond with calm if the person insists on trying to upset you.
-
Step 5: Look for the good in this person.
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Step 6: Be circumspect when asked by others how you find this person.
-
Step 7: Realize that encounters with people you don't want to spend time with are brief.
Detailed Guide
If you can't remember it, write it down or use some mnemonic device to recall it with ease.
People are more liable to like you if you remember and use their name in conversation.
If you find that they are not being very nice, avoid responding in kind.
Instead, keep on being nice yourself and make it hard for them to fault you. , Be a good listener and show that you're actively digesting the information that they're sharing with you.
By getting them to talk about themselves more, they will feel pleased to be heard and will respect your willingness to give them the opportunity to talk.
Avoid controversial topics, especially if you're aware that this person is well known for ranting or for being highly opinionated.
If he or she does get onto such pet topics, smile politely and take the first possible opportunity to change the subject. , If the person is mean, annoying or rude towards you, stay calm and respond in a normal voice.
If they're trying to be bossy, thank them for their suggestion but be clear that you are still happy to proceed with the matter in your own way.
Be assertive, not aggressive or passive.
Respond with "I" statements, making your own position clear and not reflecting any of the attitude of the person you don't much like.
Consider making a complaint to someone, if relevant.
However, this should only be a last resort, as it will not help you to get along with this person. , That may feel hard if they're belittling, blustering or boring but every person has something good within that you can locate and hang onto.
This isn't the same as liking the person or wanting to spend any extra time with them, it's about trying your best to see what's special about the person.
To be more mercenary, if you're in a job or doing a deal with this person, finding that good part could also be about finding out the best way to utilize that person's skills to forward your own or the workplace's needs. , Stay polite and simply inform the requester that you respect each person for their skills and talents and that X certainly has good talent Y and great skill X.
This avoids having to say anything about X's rotten personal skills or stinking attitude.
Don't freak out if asked this.
Go straight into pointing out the good you noticed and nothing more.
If the person asking is hopeful for a bit of gossip, smile and simply say that you haven't a clue.
Don't begin to gossip, as it always gets back somehow.
Indeed, you can't be sure of the motives of the person asking you this... , Be polite, recognize the short duration of the moment, then move on with your life in your way.
There is no guarantee in life of always meeting people you like and avoiding those who bother you.
The best response is to expect that you won't like everyone but that you still have a responsibility to respect their dignity, to be polite and to not allow them to railroad you into feeling less than them.
About the Author
Theresa Sanchez
A passionate writer with expertise in DIY projects topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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