How to Recognize Signs of an Abusive Man

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Be wary of men who seem perfect.

   Obviously, not everyone who seems perfect is abusive.
   
   But some men who are abusive care about outward image and popularity, and make it a point to have many friends.He may be so concerned about his image that he will be less concerned about maintaining a healthy relationship.
   
   This is also related to a tendency for abusers to be very controlling; they control their own image very carefully.
   
   Likewise, they expect to be able to control other people completely.
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   Step 2: Watch out for signs of codependence or very quick commitment.

   Men who are abusers tend to get into relationships very quickly.This is related to extremes in behavior that are also common to abusers.Someone may have abusive characteristics if he:
   Pushes you to commit to exclusivity or living together very quickly Claims that your relationship was “love at first sight” or that he can’t live without you Makes you feel guilty for not feeling ready to commit as quickly as he is , Does he overreact when you spend time with others? Does he dislike your friends for no apparent reason? Does he accuse you of cheating? These can be signs that he is overly jealous.
   
   An even greater indication that his jealousy is excessive is a tendency to twist or manipulate the way he expresses his jealousy.
   
   Some ways that he may manipulate or reframe his jealousy include:
   Saying that his jealousy is a sign of his deep love Masking jealous behavior as concern Claiming that he is curious about how you spent your day and who you talked to when he is really monitoring your behavior and interactions Saying that he doesn’t like you spending time with others because he misses you too much himself Pretending to stop by to surprise you with a gift or a visit when he is really checking to see what you are doing , Many abusive men have difficulty expressing their feelings.
   
   Before entering into a serious relationship with someone, you should have many conversations with him in which you can evaluate his personality and determine whether he can talk to you about things that are related to feelings.This also shows that he is willing to feel vulnerable, something that many abusers are uncomfortable with. , If a potential partner shows signs of violence towards you, others, or even inanimate objects, you should likely avoid a relationship with him.
   
   For example, if he gets mad and punches a wall or table, he could be showing a tendency to become violent in the future.
   
   Another potential warning sign for violence is the use of force or control, even in a supposedly playful way, with sex., People who are abusive in relationships are often abusive in other situations.
   
   Try to find out about a history of abuse in other relationships, towards family members, or towards animals.Most men who have been abusive to others in the past will continue to be abusive in the future.
   
   If you decide to enter into a relationship with someone with a history of abuse, encourage him to participate in a batterer intervention program.
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   Step 3: Monitor jealousy and insecurity levels.

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   Step 4: Talk to a potential partner about feelings.

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   Step 5: Do not tolerate violence or signs of violence.

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   Step 6: Look for a history of abuse.

Detailed Guide

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