How to Slowly Drift Away from a Person
Stop making plans., Don’t initiate conversations., Have other plans., Be polite., Don’t get drawn into confrontation.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stop making plans.
Once you’re sure you no longer want to be in touch with your friend, don’t invite them to do things any more.
Friendships require mutual effort.
If you don’t do your part to plan hangouts and activities for you both, the friendship will be thrown out of balance and fade., You can still nod and say “hello,” but if you’re trying to end a friendship, don’t just walk up to the person and start talking about what happened on TV last night.
It will be confusing for them and feel like a waste of time for you.
Conversations aren’t just in person--texting and social media count, too.
If you’re really trying to end a friendship, don’t indulge in these more than the occasional “like.”If your former friend starts a conversation with you, try to end it quickly.
You can do this by not asking a lot of questions, and then by saying something like “see you later!”, If your former friend asks you to do something with them, but you’re trying to avoid them, it’s best not to.
Try to keep busy with other friends, work or schoolwork, or family obligations, so that you’re busy when they try to reach you.
You might have to tell a lie to protect your former friend’s feelings.
If you do, make it simple, vague, and easy to remember. “I have plans Saturday” is fine, and if they see you roller skating with two other people, they won’t think you were lying. “I have to sing the lead in an opera” obviously won’t work., You may not be BFFs any more, but that doesn’t mean that you have to totally ice this person.
When you see them, be cordial, maintain eye contact, and provide help if they really need it (e.g. if they need to know what the French assignment was).
You are trying to set boundaries, not hurt anyone’s feelings., If your former friend wants to talk to you about why you’ve disappeared, try to defuse a fight before it starts.
Assure them that they aren’t a bad person and that they have a lot going for them.
Emphasize that you’re busy and putting energy into other things right now.You can say something like "I've been spending so much time on my writing that I've been bad at texting back." Don't apologize too much if it feels insincere.
Emphasize the differences between you.
This will drive home the fact that you’ve both grown, and have grown apart. -
Step 2: Don’t initiate conversations.
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Step 3: Have other plans.
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Step 4: Be polite.
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Step 5: Don’t get drawn into confrontation.
Detailed Guide
Once you’re sure you no longer want to be in touch with your friend, don’t invite them to do things any more.
Friendships require mutual effort.
If you don’t do your part to plan hangouts and activities for you both, the friendship will be thrown out of balance and fade., You can still nod and say “hello,” but if you’re trying to end a friendship, don’t just walk up to the person and start talking about what happened on TV last night.
It will be confusing for them and feel like a waste of time for you.
Conversations aren’t just in person--texting and social media count, too.
If you’re really trying to end a friendship, don’t indulge in these more than the occasional “like.”If your former friend starts a conversation with you, try to end it quickly.
You can do this by not asking a lot of questions, and then by saying something like “see you later!”, If your former friend asks you to do something with them, but you’re trying to avoid them, it’s best not to.
Try to keep busy with other friends, work or schoolwork, or family obligations, so that you’re busy when they try to reach you.
You might have to tell a lie to protect your former friend’s feelings.
If you do, make it simple, vague, and easy to remember. “I have plans Saturday” is fine, and if they see you roller skating with two other people, they won’t think you were lying. “I have to sing the lead in an opera” obviously won’t work., You may not be BFFs any more, but that doesn’t mean that you have to totally ice this person.
When you see them, be cordial, maintain eye contact, and provide help if they really need it (e.g. if they need to know what the French assignment was).
You are trying to set boundaries, not hurt anyone’s feelings., If your former friend wants to talk to you about why you’ve disappeared, try to defuse a fight before it starts.
Assure them that they aren’t a bad person and that they have a lot going for them.
Emphasize that you’re busy and putting energy into other things right now.You can say something like "I've been spending so much time on my writing that I've been bad at texting back." Don't apologize too much if it feels insincere.
Emphasize the differences between you.
This will drive home the fact that you’ve both grown, and have grown apart.
About the Author
Madison Gray
Creates helpful guides on hobbies to inspire and educate readers.
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