How to Speak Less
Speak only when it's important., Avoid speaking to fill empty space., Think about your words carefully., Be aware of time when you speak., Think about whether you speak out of anxiety., Avoid speaking to impress others.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Speak only when it's important.
Before you speak, ask yourself if what you're saying is truly important.
You should avoid talking when you're not really contributing to the conversation.People tend to listen to those who choose their words carefully.
Someone who's always sharing their opinion or telling stories may lose people's interest with time.
If you have a tendency to talk too much, you may find yourself constantly sharing information unnecessarily. -
Step 2: Avoid speaking to fill empty space.
Oftentimes, people speak to fill empty space.
You may find yourself speaking in professional situations, such as work or school, to ease your anxiety about silence.
Sometimes, silence is okay and you do not need to talk just to fill space.For example, if you and co-worker are in the break room at the same time, you do not have to make small talk.
If your co-worker does not seem interested in talking, they may not be in the mood for social interaction.
In this case, it's okay to offer a polite smile and let the silence happen. , If you talk too frequently, you may say the first thing that comes to mind without filtering yourself.
Learning to speak less means learning to think about your words.
Before saying something, try to think about the words you're going to say ahead of time.
This may help you learn to keep certain things to yourself, leading you to speak less overall.People often reveal information they'd rather keep private through speaking too much.
When you think of something you want to add, especially if it's something very personal, pause.
Remember you can always share new information later, but you can never make information private again once you've shared it. , Having a rough sense of how long you've been talking can help you speak less.
In general, after about 20 seconds of speaking you're at risk for losing the listener's attention.
After this point, tune in to the listener.
Look for any cues they're losing interest.Watch body language.
The listener may fidget or check their phone if they're getting bored.
Their eyes may also begin to wander.
Try to wrap it up within the next 20 seconds and give the speaker a chance to share.
In general, try not to talk for more than 40 seconds at a time.
Any longer than this may make the listener feel irritated or talked over. , People often talk too much due to underlying social anxiety.
Pay attention to when you're talking a lot.
Do you feel anxious? If so, work on coping in other ways.When you find yourself speaking too much, pause and evaluate your mood.
How are you feeling? Are you feeling anxious? You can do things like count to 10 in your head or take deep breaths if you're anxious.
You can also try giving yourself a pep talk before social events.
Remind yourself that it's okay to be nervous, but you should relax and try to have fun.
If social anxiety is a major problem for you, see a therapist to address it. , In work situations especially, people tend to talk too much to impress others.
If you notice you talk a lot, think about whether you're trying to show off.If you tend to talk too much to impress others, try to remind yourself others will be more impressed by what you say than how much you say.
Instead of going overboard talking about yourself, reserve your input for moments when you can contribute something valuable to the conversation. -
Step 3: Think about your words carefully.
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Step 4: Be aware of time when you speak.
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Step 5: Think about whether you speak out of anxiety.
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Step 6: Avoid speaking to impress others.
Detailed Guide
Before you speak, ask yourself if what you're saying is truly important.
You should avoid talking when you're not really contributing to the conversation.People tend to listen to those who choose their words carefully.
Someone who's always sharing their opinion or telling stories may lose people's interest with time.
If you have a tendency to talk too much, you may find yourself constantly sharing information unnecessarily.
Oftentimes, people speak to fill empty space.
You may find yourself speaking in professional situations, such as work or school, to ease your anxiety about silence.
Sometimes, silence is okay and you do not need to talk just to fill space.For example, if you and co-worker are in the break room at the same time, you do not have to make small talk.
If your co-worker does not seem interested in talking, they may not be in the mood for social interaction.
In this case, it's okay to offer a polite smile and let the silence happen. , If you talk too frequently, you may say the first thing that comes to mind without filtering yourself.
Learning to speak less means learning to think about your words.
Before saying something, try to think about the words you're going to say ahead of time.
This may help you learn to keep certain things to yourself, leading you to speak less overall.People often reveal information they'd rather keep private through speaking too much.
When you think of something you want to add, especially if it's something very personal, pause.
Remember you can always share new information later, but you can never make information private again once you've shared it. , Having a rough sense of how long you've been talking can help you speak less.
In general, after about 20 seconds of speaking you're at risk for losing the listener's attention.
After this point, tune in to the listener.
Look for any cues they're losing interest.Watch body language.
The listener may fidget or check their phone if they're getting bored.
Their eyes may also begin to wander.
Try to wrap it up within the next 20 seconds and give the speaker a chance to share.
In general, try not to talk for more than 40 seconds at a time.
Any longer than this may make the listener feel irritated or talked over. , People often talk too much due to underlying social anxiety.
Pay attention to when you're talking a lot.
Do you feel anxious? If so, work on coping in other ways.When you find yourself speaking too much, pause and evaluate your mood.
How are you feeling? Are you feeling anxious? You can do things like count to 10 in your head or take deep breaths if you're anxious.
You can also try giving yourself a pep talk before social events.
Remind yourself that it's okay to be nervous, but you should relax and try to have fun.
If social anxiety is a major problem for you, see a therapist to address it. , In work situations especially, people tend to talk too much to impress others.
If you notice you talk a lot, think about whether you're trying to show off.If you tend to talk too much to impress others, try to remind yourself others will be more impressed by what you say than how much you say.
Instead of going overboard talking about yourself, reserve your input for moments when you can contribute something valuable to the conversation.
About the Author
Sara Diaz
Brings years of experience writing about crafts and related subjects.
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