How to Stay Calm when Infuriated

Take deep, relaxing breaths., Repeat a calming word or phrase to help you relax., Visualize something that calms you., Start counting., Try progressive muscle relaxation., Call a friend or family member.

7 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Take deep

    Learn to breathe from your belly in order to take effective deep breaths.

    Shallow breathing does not reduce stress levels, and in fact can contribute to anxiety.Visualize air causing your diaphragm/belly to expand.

    Breathe the air through your nose down into your belly.

    Exhale through your nose, pulling your belly in toward your back.

    Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique to calm down.

    Belly breathe in through your nose to the count of four.

    Hold your breath to the count of seven.

    Then exhale through your mouth, making a whooshing sound, to the count of eight.
  2. Step 2: relaxing breaths.

    You might want to decide on words that have a calming, relaxing effect on you ahead of time, so that the next time you’re angry, you can utilize them immediately.

    Think of a word, phrase, or quote that relaxes you.

    Practice saying the words out loud, before you get into an infuriating situation, so they become habitual and comfortable.You could repeat words that act as reminders to yourself, like “peace,” “stay calm,” or “breathe.” Make sure to say these words in a soft, comforting voice.

    You could name what you are feeling or thinking, and then remind yourself to change your thoughts to a more productive pattern.

    For example, you could say, “Right now I am very angry.

    I can take some deep breaths and not let my anger control me.

    I can control my anger.”You could repeat a part of a prayer or a religious verse that you find comforting and soothing.

    If you find that humor helps diffuse your anger, you could repeat something to yourself that usually makes you laugh or smile.

    Try keeping a funny image or video in your phone that you can access quickly when you are upset. , When you are feeling angry, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and imagine something that makes you feel calm, peaceful, or happy.

    It is also a good idea to practice this even when you are not feeling angry.

    The more you practice this, the easier it will be to use your calming image when you need it.

    What you imagine is up to you
    -- different things may relax different people.You might imagine a peaceful scene that relaxes you, like a tropical beach or quiet woods.

    You could imagine the smiling face of your spouse, or your grandchild sleeping in your arms.

    You may even think of an object that relaxes you, like a tree, a flower, or your favorite quilt. , If you are feeling furious and ready to explode, take a deep breath and start counting before you respond.

    You could count to 50 or 100
    -- take whatever time you need in order to respond without losing your temper.

    Breathe deeply as you count to yourself.You could also keep an eye on your watch.

    Set a timer for two minutes (or whatever you need) to breathe deeply and calm down before reacting., Progressive muscle relaxation is a powerful calming technique where you contract and release the muscles in your body starting with your toes and moving to the top of your head.To do this exercise, lie down in a comfortable spot and close your eyes.

    You might even want to put on some headphones and listen to some soft, soothing music or nature sounds, such as ocean waves.

    Begin by clenching the muscles in your feet and hold to the count of five.

    Then, release and relax for 30 seconds.

    Next, move to your calves, clench the muscles by pointing your toes, and count to five.

    Then, release and relax for 30 seconds.

    Continue to clench, release, and relax each muscle group in your body moving up towards your head. , Talking with a supportive friend or family member can be a great way to calm yourself.

    Try calling up a friend or family member who you know will listen to you and be supportive as you attempt to calm down.

    Try saying something like, “I am feeling really angry right now and I need to talk about it.

    Do you have some time to listen?” Share with your friend or family member what is making you angry and then listen to their suggestions and supportive words.
  3. Step 3: Repeat a calming word or phrase to help you relax.

  4. Step 4: Visualize something that calms you.

  5. Step 5: Start counting.

  6. Step 6: Try progressive muscle relaxation.

  7. Step 7: Call a friend or family member.

Detailed Guide

Learn to breathe from your belly in order to take effective deep breaths.

Shallow breathing does not reduce stress levels, and in fact can contribute to anxiety.Visualize air causing your diaphragm/belly to expand.

Breathe the air through your nose down into your belly.

Exhale through your nose, pulling your belly in toward your back.

Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique to calm down.

Belly breathe in through your nose to the count of four.

Hold your breath to the count of seven.

Then exhale through your mouth, making a whooshing sound, to the count of eight.

You might want to decide on words that have a calming, relaxing effect on you ahead of time, so that the next time you’re angry, you can utilize them immediately.

Think of a word, phrase, or quote that relaxes you.

Practice saying the words out loud, before you get into an infuriating situation, so they become habitual and comfortable.You could repeat words that act as reminders to yourself, like “peace,” “stay calm,” or “breathe.” Make sure to say these words in a soft, comforting voice.

You could name what you are feeling or thinking, and then remind yourself to change your thoughts to a more productive pattern.

For example, you could say, “Right now I am very angry.

I can take some deep breaths and not let my anger control me.

I can control my anger.”You could repeat a part of a prayer or a religious verse that you find comforting and soothing.

If you find that humor helps diffuse your anger, you could repeat something to yourself that usually makes you laugh or smile.

Try keeping a funny image or video in your phone that you can access quickly when you are upset. , When you are feeling angry, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and imagine something that makes you feel calm, peaceful, or happy.

It is also a good idea to practice this even when you are not feeling angry.

The more you practice this, the easier it will be to use your calming image when you need it.

What you imagine is up to you
-- different things may relax different people.You might imagine a peaceful scene that relaxes you, like a tropical beach or quiet woods.

You could imagine the smiling face of your spouse, or your grandchild sleeping in your arms.

You may even think of an object that relaxes you, like a tree, a flower, or your favorite quilt. , If you are feeling furious and ready to explode, take a deep breath and start counting before you respond.

You could count to 50 or 100
-- take whatever time you need in order to respond without losing your temper.

Breathe deeply as you count to yourself.You could also keep an eye on your watch.

Set a timer for two minutes (or whatever you need) to breathe deeply and calm down before reacting., Progressive muscle relaxation is a powerful calming technique where you contract and release the muscles in your body starting with your toes and moving to the top of your head.To do this exercise, lie down in a comfortable spot and close your eyes.

You might even want to put on some headphones and listen to some soft, soothing music or nature sounds, such as ocean waves.

Begin by clenching the muscles in your feet and hold to the count of five.

Then, release and relax for 30 seconds.

Next, move to your calves, clench the muscles by pointing your toes, and count to five.

Then, release and relax for 30 seconds.

Continue to clench, release, and relax each muscle group in your body moving up towards your head. , Talking with a supportive friend or family member can be a great way to calm yourself.

Try calling up a friend or family member who you know will listen to you and be supportive as you attempt to calm down.

Try saying something like, “I am feeling really angry right now and I need to talk about it.

Do you have some time to listen?” Share with your friend or family member what is making you angry and then listen to their suggestions and supportive words.

About the Author

J

Jack King

Jack King specializes in technology and innovation and has been creating helpful content for over 4 years. Jack is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.

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