How to Stop Avoidance Coping
Start small., Make a plan., Soothe yourself when anxiety strikes., Perform reality testing on your thoughts., Get assistance from a professional.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Start small.
If you learn to tolerate uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, then you won’t require avoidance coping.
Exposure therapy often helps lessen anxiety surrounding certain situations.
However, you don’t want to push yourself too quickly into an anxiety-provoking situation.
Practice exposure by gradually building your tolerance.
You can do this by starting with an activity or event that causes the least amount of anxiety.
Once you have mastered it, you can gradually move to one that causes more, and more.Make sure that you give yourself a realistic timeframe to accomplish this goal.
Keep in mind that it will not happen overnight and you will likely be a work in progress for a while and that is okay.
You can do this more effectively by making a list.
Rank those situations that provoke anxiety for you.
For example, you might list, "speaking in front of an audience," "asking someone out on a date," or "going to a restaurant alone." Start with the least anxiety-provoking situation and work your way up.
Whenever you accomplish a goal, find a way to celebrate or commemorate each step among the way.
This can even be something small such as, writing it in your journal and congratulating yourself out loud. -
Step 2: Make a plan.
Plan to expose yourself to situations you typically avoid.
Prepare yourself for the experience of anxiety by choosing one thought, feeling, activity, or situation that typically causes anxiety.For instance, if you want to practice going to a restaurant by yourself, you might first start with getting take out on your own a few times.
Then, you might ask to be seated.
Another way to devise your plan might be in levels of exposure.
For instance, you might be okay getting breakfast alone, but dinner makes you anxious.
You'll want to gradually build up to eating supper in a restaurant alone.
To increase the chances that you will stick with your plan, you may also want to have an accountability buddy.
This could be a mental health professional, a friend, or family member.
Make sure that they are familiar with the steps you have chosen to follow and that they will help to hold you accountable. , When you expose yourself to the anxiety-provoking situation, employ your self-soothing techniques.
In addition to deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, you might listen to calming music or state phrases of affirmation, such as “I can do this” or “I am brave.”Another helpful phrase to repeat to yourself is, “No anxiety can last forever.” This will help you to remember that what you are feeling is temporary. , Once you start to get used to the sensations of anxiety, you will need to focus on the thoughts surrounding these situations.
Reality testing allows you to assess a situation from an objective point of view to reduce the anxiety it causes.For example, you might think, “I can’t ask Mr.
Thomas to explain the assignment after class.
Last time he yelled at me.” Try to see this situation from different angles.
Are there other ways of viewing it? The reality is that just because Mr.
Thomas yelled last time doesn’t mean he will this time.
Also, he may have yelled for reasons separate from your question.
Maybe he had a bad day and was tired.
Perhaps this time, he is in a better mood.
If you are unable to adjust your thoughts on your own, then you can also try contacting an objective person to help bring you back to reality.
Tell them what is going on and what you are feeling anxious about. , The process of learning to tolerate anxiety-provoking situations can be challenging.
You can seek out help from a professional to assist you in stopping your avoidance coping behaviors.
One form of therapy, known as exposure therapy, has been shown to be effective at helping reduce anxiety and the events that provoke it.Keep in mind that there are lots of different types and levels of exposure therapy.
For example, your therapist may decide to either use a graded approach to expose you to things that cause you a mild amount of anxiety first, or they may use a flooding approach and expose you to the thing or things that cause you the most anxiety first.
Depending on what causes you anxiety, they may use in vivo exposure therapy, which actually exposes you to the things you fear, or imaginal exposure therapy where you imagine the exposure happening. -
Step 3: Soothe yourself when anxiety strikes.
-
Step 4: Perform reality testing on your thoughts.
-
Step 5: Get assistance from a professional.
Detailed Guide
If you learn to tolerate uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, then you won’t require avoidance coping.
Exposure therapy often helps lessen anxiety surrounding certain situations.
However, you don’t want to push yourself too quickly into an anxiety-provoking situation.
Practice exposure by gradually building your tolerance.
You can do this by starting with an activity or event that causes the least amount of anxiety.
Once you have mastered it, you can gradually move to one that causes more, and more.Make sure that you give yourself a realistic timeframe to accomplish this goal.
Keep in mind that it will not happen overnight and you will likely be a work in progress for a while and that is okay.
You can do this more effectively by making a list.
Rank those situations that provoke anxiety for you.
For example, you might list, "speaking in front of an audience," "asking someone out on a date," or "going to a restaurant alone." Start with the least anxiety-provoking situation and work your way up.
Whenever you accomplish a goal, find a way to celebrate or commemorate each step among the way.
This can even be something small such as, writing it in your journal and congratulating yourself out loud.
Plan to expose yourself to situations you typically avoid.
Prepare yourself for the experience of anxiety by choosing one thought, feeling, activity, or situation that typically causes anxiety.For instance, if you want to practice going to a restaurant by yourself, you might first start with getting take out on your own a few times.
Then, you might ask to be seated.
Another way to devise your plan might be in levels of exposure.
For instance, you might be okay getting breakfast alone, but dinner makes you anxious.
You'll want to gradually build up to eating supper in a restaurant alone.
To increase the chances that you will stick with your plan, you may also want to have an accountability buddy.
This could be a mental health professional, a friend, or family member.
Make sure that they are familiar with the steps you have chosen to follow and that they will help to hold you accountable. , When you expose yourself to the anxiety-provoking situation, employ your self-soothing techniques.
In addition to deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, you might listen to calming music or state phrases of affirmation, such as “I can do this” or “I am brave.”Another helpful phrase to repeat to yourself is, “No anxiety can last forever.” This will help you to remember that what you are feeling is temporary. , Once you start to get used to the sensations of anxiety, you will need to focus on the thoughts surrounding these situations.
Reality testing allows you to assess a situation from an objective point of view to reduce the anxiety it causes.For example, you might think, “I can’t ask Mr.
Thomas to explain the assignment after class.
Last time he yelled at me.” Try to see this situation from different angles.
Are there other ways of viewing it? The reality is that just because Mr.
Thomas yelled last time doesn’t mean he will this time.
Also, he may have yelled for reasons separate from your question.
Maybe he had a bad day and was tired.
Perhaps this time, he is in a better mood.
If you are unable to adjust your thoughts on your own, then you can also try contacting an objective person to help bring you back to reality.
Tell them what is going on and what you are feeling anxious about. , The process of learning to tolerate anxiety-provoking situations can be challenging.
You can seek out help from a professional to assist you in stopping your avoidance coping behaviors.
One form of therapy, known as exposure therapy, has been shown to be effective at helping reduce anxiety and the events that provoke it.Keep in mind that there are lots of different types and levels of exposure therapy.
For example, your therapist may decide to either use a graded approach to expose you to things that cause you a mild amount of anxiety first, or they may use a flooding approach and expose you to the thing or things that cause you the most anxiety first.
Depending on what causes you anxiety, they may use in vivo exposure therapy, which actually exposes you to the things you fear, or imaginal exposure therapy where you imagine the exposure happening.
About the Author
Alexander Nguyen
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in hobbies and beyond.
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