How to Stop Being an Abusive Jerk

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Accept that you have a problem.

   Admitting that you have a problem is always the first step in any recovery.
   
   Discuss your actions with your partner to gain a greater understanding on how the abuse affects them and other family members., The blame for abuse lies with the abuser.
   
   It is never the victim’s fault.
   
   Your reaction to the anger you feel is your choice.
   
   You can choose to react in ways that are not violent., Although there are many underlying reasons for your abusive behavior, this behavior can be changed.
   
   It may take a lot of time, patience, and dedication but it will be worth it in your current and future relationships., Most abusers feel the need to control their partners.
   
   It is not all about anger management, but rather changing your attitude about entitlement and privilege., Admitting your problem to friends or family members will help hold you accountable to change.
   
   You may also discover that some of them have also dealt with this problem and can help provide support and advice as you work to change your behavior., There are many organizations and counseling services that provide group therapy for abusers and batterers.
   
   These groups will help abusers to recognize their abusive behavior and find alternatives to their violent responses.
   
   Regular check-ins are used to monitor progress and hold abusers accountable during their recovery.
   
   Group therapy also allows abusers to meet other individuals that are striving to make the same changes in their lives., Individual counseling with a therapist can help an abuser recognize their behavior and make the appropriate changes.
   
   Your therapist will monitor your progress.
   
   It is important to meet with your therapist regularly until the therapist makes the recommendation to conclude your counseling., There are many consequences that can arise from being abusive to your partner.
   
   The abuse my end your relationship, emotionally damage your family, or result in legal trouble.
   
   An important step in your recovery is to accept whatever consequences you face as a result of your abusive behavior., Your partner has the right to feel safe while you are in recovery.
   
   It is important to allow them the space and even help them achieve this feeling of safety.
   
   Work with your partner, friends, family, and counselor to ensure that your partner feels safe., Once you have made a full recovery, it is important to continue educating yourself about abuse and how to have healthy relationships.
   
   By continuing to gain knowledge on the subject, you will be less likely to fall back into your old habits.Read relationship advice books.
   
   Find local resources such as classes, organizations, or groups that deal with domestic violence and relationship health.
2. 2

   Step 2: Don't justify your actions.

3. 3

   Step 3: Commit to making a change.

4. 4

   Step 4: Reflect on why you are being abusive.

5. 5

   Step 5: Seek support from friends and family.

6. 6

   Step 6: Attend group therapy.

7. 7

   Step 7: Find a good counselor or therapist.

8. 8

   Step 8: Accept any consequences of previous abuse.

9. 9

   Step 9: Allow your partner space and safety while you seek help.

10. 10

    Step 10: Continue to learn about abuse and healthy relationships.

Detailed Guide

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