How to Stop Berating Yourself
Identify the consequences of your negative self-talk., Create an inventory of your negative self-talk., Keep a critical voice thought diary to organize your ideas.To create a thought diary, you can log the answers to the following questions...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify the consequences of your negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk, or berating yourself, can lead to increased anxiety and other negative emotions.Knowing these personal consequences can help you identify why you need to change your negative self-talk and motivate you toward positive self-talk.
Consider the ways that your negative self-talk impacts you:
Does it make you feel depressed, angry, or stressed? Does your negative self-talk lead to outcomes such as not being able to focus, eating or drinking too much, or treating others badly? Use an Activating Event, Beliefs, and Consequences (ABC) worksheet to log and understand the consequences.Make three columns on a piece of paper or on a spreadsheet.
Label one column, "Activating Event," the second column, "Beliefs," and the third, "Consequences." Under the Activating Event column, write down your answers to the following questions:
What was happening just before you started to feel this way? What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you? When was it? Under the Beliefs column, fill in your responses to:
What was going through my mind at that time? What did this say or mean about me? What was the worst thing that could happen?" Under the Consequences column, record your replies to:
Describe your emotion in one word and rate its intensity from 0% to 100%.
What did you feel in your body? What did you do? What did you feel like doing? -
Step 2: Create an inventory of your negative self-talk.
Self-talk is basically what you say to yourself either out loud or in your own head (through thoughts).Negative self-talk, or berating yourself, can actually cause you to perform worse in certain situations (such as competitive sports).Make a list of common negative things you say to yourself in certain situations.
For example, maybe you sometimes drop something and say to yourself, "I’m so stupid." Or, perhaps you wake up late for work and say to yourself, "I always do this! I can’t get anything right." These are examples of ways you might berate yourself. , What, where, when, who with? What are/were you doing? What critical thoughts came to mind? What emotion do you feel when you think these thoughts? How much do you believe these thoughts (0 – 100%)? In this case, 0% is not at all and 100% is you totally believe them.
Is this something you think about yourself? Who has said these things to you? Is there another way of looking at this? What would someone else see and make of this? What would you say to a friend in this situation? Is this fact or opinion? -
Step 3: Keep a critical voice thought diary to organize your ideas.To create a thought diary
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Step 4: you can log the answers to the following questions: Describe the situation.
Detailed Guide
Negative self-talk, or berating yourself, can lead to increased anxiety and other negative emotions.Knowing these personal consequences can help you identify why you need to change your negative self-talk and motivate you toward positive self-talk.
Consider the ways that your negative self-talk impacts you:
Does it make you feel depressed, angry, or stressed? Does your negative self-talk lead to outcomes such as not being able to focus, eating or drinking too much, or treating others badly? Use an Activating Event, Beliefs, and Consequences (ABC) worksheet to log and understand the consequences.Make three columns on a piece of paper or on a spreadsheet.
Label one column, "Activating Event," the second column, "Beliefs," and the third, "Consequences." Under the Activating Event column, write down your answers to the following questions:
What was happening just before you started to feel this way? What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you? When was it? Under the Beliefs column, fill in your responses to:
What was going through my mind at that time? What did this say or mean about me? What was the worst thing that could happen?" Under the Consequences column, record your replies to:
Describe your emotion in one word and rate its intensity from 0% to 100%.
What did you feel in your body? What did you do? What did you feel like doing?
Self-talk is basically what you say to yourself either out loud or in your own head (through thoughts).Negative self-talk, or berating yourself, can actually cause you to perform worse in certain situations (such as competitive sports).Make a list of common negative things you say to yourself in certain situations.
For example, maybe you sometimes drop something and say to yourself, "I’m so stupid." Or, perhaps you wake up late for work and say to yourself, "I always do this! I can’t get anything right." These are examples of ways you might berate yourself. , What, where, when, who with? What are/were you doing? What critical thoughts came to mind? What emotion do you feel when you think these thoughts? How much do you believe these thoughts (0 – 100%)? In this case, 0% is not at all and 100% is you totally believe them.
Is this something you think about yourself? Who has said these things to you? Is there another way of looking at this? What would someone else see and make of this? What would you say to a friend in this situation? Is this fact or opinion?
About the Author
Teresa King
Committed to making crafts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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