How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure
Find one action you can take in the next three minutes., Throw your negative thoughts in the trash., Tell yourself to stop., Shift your thoughts in a positive direction., Change the word “failure” into “mistake.” Tell yourself that you’ve made a...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find one action you can take in the next three minutes.
Sometimes, thoughts of failure pop up because you feel overwhelmed by a specific task.
You might be looking at a mountain of work that seems impossible.
You can't figure out how you'll tackle it.
One strategy is to figure out one thing you can do within the next three minutes to take action.
Then, do it.For example, your room hasn't been cleaned in weeks and it's a complete mess.
Figure out one action you can take, such as picking up dirty clothes from the floor.
As soon as you figure out an action, get started. -
Step 2: Throw your negative thoughts in the trash.
Write down the negative thoughts you're having on a sheet of paper.
Be very specific by noting exactly what's going through your mind.
Once you're done writing, ball up the sheet of paper and toss it in the trash.This exercise helps you release the hold negative thoughts have on you. , Let the word “stop” come into your brain when the negative thoughts begin to creep in.
Do not allow yourself to complete the thought, as doing so means the thoughts win.
Instead, tell yourself to “stop” and then distract yourself with something else.You may feel like you have to tell yourself to “stop” all of the time.
But eventually, it will become less and less. , It’s easy to beat yourself up when you feel like you messed up.
Negative thoughts might enter your mind and add fuel to the fire of what you already believe about yourself.
Reframe these negative thoughts by making them more positive and realistic.
For instance, instead of saying “I always get this problem wrong,” you could say, “In the past, I’ve been wrong about this.” Changing “always” to “in the past” gives you the potential for growth and change in your mind.
Your next attempt may result in a different outcome., The word “mistake” sounds less permanent and harsh than “failure.” Looking at it this way may help you feel better about the situation.
Plus, when you use the word "mistake," you can look for a learning opportunity.
Making a mistake also gives you a chance to grow.
You can learn from what you did and use it as a chance to give yourself more information for next time., Everyone has things in their life that they want to improve.
However, you end up feeling like a failure because you are overlooking the bigger picture and getting caught up on the little details.
Take a step back and look at the overall picture.
Is your life really that bad? Or, are you caught up on small details?For instance, you might find yourself obsessing that your crush didn't say "hi" or worrying about your unfinished to-do list.
Allowing these small things to nag at you can make you feel bad.
But, they aren’t important enough to allow that to happen. , You may want to rethink what you believe to be success if you’re still hanging onto the beliefs you made as a child.
Striving to be rich or have what you believe to be the perfect family may not be something that is achievable for you right now.
Create a new definition of success and you may feel better about yourself.Sit down and make a list of what you believe defines success.
Don’t just focus on material things.
Concentrate on personality traits and characteristics of that nature.
Now, ask yourself if this list is realistic.
If it's not, try to revise your definition with traits and strengths you have right now.
For example, if you are going to school or have a job, that's a form of success.
If you have a roof over your head and people that love you, that's success, too. -
Step 3: Tell yourself to stop.
-
Step 4: Shift your thoughts in a positive direction.
-
Step 5: Change the word “failure” into “mistake.” Tell yourself that you’ve made a mistake instead of a failure.
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Step 6: Focus on the bigger picture.
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Step 7: Change your definition of success.
Detailed Guide
Sometimes, thoughts of failure pop up because you feel overwhelmed by a specific task.
You might be looking at a mountain of work that seems impossible.
You can't figure out how you'll tackle it.
One strategy is to figure out one thing you can do within the next three minutes to take action.
Then, do it.For example, your room hasn't been cleaned in weeks and it's a complete mess.
Figure out one action you can take, such as picking up dirty clothes from the floor.
As soon as you figure out an action, get started.
Write down the negative thoughts you're having on a sheet of paper.
Be very specific by noting exactly what's going through your mind.
Once you're done writing, ball up the sheet of paper and toss it in the trash.This exercise helps you release the hold negative thoughts have on you. , Let the word “stop” come into your brain when the negative thoughts begin to creep in.
Do not allow yourself to complete the thought, as doing so means the thoughts win.
Instead, tell yourself to “stop” and then distract yourself with something else.You may feel like you have to tell yourself to “stop” all of the time.
But eventually, it will become less and less. , It’s easy to beat yourself up when you feel like you messed up.
Negative thoughts might enter your mind and add fuel to the fire of what you already believe about yourself.
Reframe these negative thoughts by making them more positive and realistic.
For instance, instead of saying “I always get this problem wrong,” you could say, “In the past, I’ve been wrong about this.” Changing “always” to “in the past” gives you the potential for growth and change in your mind.
Your next attempt may result in a different outcome., The word “mistake” sounds less permanent and harsh than “failure.” Looking at it this way may help you feel better about the situation.
Plus, when you use the word "mistake," you can look for a learning opportunity.
Making a mistake also gives you a chance to grow.
You can learn from what you did and use it as a chance to give yourself more information for next time., Everyone has things in their life that they want to improve.
However, you end up feeling like a failure because you are overlooking the bigger picture and getting caught up on the little details.
Take a step back and look at the overall picture.
Is your life really that bad? Or, are you caught up on small details?For instance, you might find yourself obsessing that your crush didn't say "hi" or worrying about your unfinished to-do list.
Allowing these small things to nag at you can make you feel bad.
But, they aren’t important enough to allow that to happen. , You may want to rethink what you believe to be success if you’re still hanging onto the beliefs you made as a child.
Striving to be rich or have what you believe to be the perfect family may not be something that is achievable for you right now.
Create a new definition of success and you may feel better about yourself.Sit down and make a list of what you believe defines success.
Don’t just focus on material things.
Concentrate on personality traits and characteristics of that nature.
Now, ask yourself if this list is realistic.
If it's not, try to revise your definition with traits and strengths you have right now.
For example, if you are going to school or have a job, that's a form of success.
If you have a roof over your head and people that love you, that's success, too.
About the Author
Christopher Taylor
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow pet care tutorials.
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