How to Stop Feeling Self‐Righteous
Look at the world through other people’s eyes., Get to know people., Listen attentively to others., Focus on common ground., Forgive someone if they've hurt you.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Look at the world through other people’s eyes.
When you find yourself looking down on someone, think about what their life is like.
Ask yourself how they might be feeling or what they might need right now.
Try to imagine how their circumstances have shaped their philosophy about life.For instance, someone who’s always lived in a big city may not see the world the same way someone from a small town does. -
Step 2: Get to know people.
Instead of judging strangers or assuming you won’t like them, reach out and say hello.
Introduce yourself to neighbors, coworkers, or classmates from different backgrounds.
Be friendly and curious, and you’ll have an easier time understanding why people act and think the way they do., When you’re having a conversation, focus on understanding the other person.
Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, and emotions, as well as their words.
Don't judge while you are listening.
Do your best to see where they are coming from, even if you don’t agree.Show the other person you’re paying attention to them by nodding at appropriate times and saying things like “Then what happened?” or “Mm-hmm.” , If you dwell on all the ways someone is different from you, you might end up feeling like you’re better than them.
Instead, try to find ways you’re alike.
When you feel like someone is “on your team,” even in a small way, you’re less likely to feel self-righteous towards them.For instance, maybe you and a new acquaintance can connect over your mutual love of mystery novels, or maybe you both came from large families. , If someone has hurt you, make the choice to forgive them instead of carrying around a self-righteous grudge.
Bitterness and resentment only hurt you, not the person who wronged you.
Try to see the situation from their point-of-view and think about how you might have handled it.Consider whether the person really meant to hurt you, or whether they were just acting in an inconsiderate or shortsighted way. -
Step 3: Listen attentively to others.
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Step 4: Focus on common ground.
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Step 5: Forgive someone if they've hurt you.
Detailed Guide
When you find yourself looking down on someone, think about what their life is like.
Ask yourself how they might be feeling or what they might need right now.
Try to imagine how their circumstances have shaped their philosophy about life.For instance, someone who’s always lived in a big city may not see the world the same way someone from a small town does.
Instead of judging strangers or assuming you won’t like them, reach out and say hello.
Introduce yourself to neighbors, coworkers, or classmates from different backgrounds.
Be friendly and curious, and you’ll have an easier time understanding why people act and think the way they do., When you’re having a conversation, focus on understanding the other person.
Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, and emotions, as well as their words.
Don't judge while you are listening.
Do your best to see where they are coming from, even if you don’t agree.Show the other person you’re paying attention to them by nodding at appropriate times and saying things like “Then what happened?” or “Mm-hmm.” , If you dwell on all the ways someone is different from you, you might end up feeling like you’re better than them.
Instead, try to find ways you’re alike.
When you feel like someone is “on your team,” even in a small way, you’re less likely to feel self-righteous towards them.For instance, maybe you and a new acquaintance can connect over your mutual love of mystery novels, or maybe you both came from large families. , If someone has hurt you, make the choice to forgive them instead of carrying around a self-righteous grudge.
Bitterness and resentment only hurt you, not the person who wronged you.
Try to see the situation from their point-of-view and think about how you might have handled it.Consider whether the person really meant to hurt you, or whether they were just acting in an inconsiderate or shortsighted way.
About the Author
Janet Freeman
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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