How to Stop Underestimating Yourself
Challenge negative thoughts., Make a list of your positive traits., Stop unhelpful self-criticism or insults.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Challenge negative thoughts.
People who underestimate themselves may be held back by negative thoughts, like “I’m not going to do well on my presentation,” or “I could never run in a 10 k.” When you have these self-doubts and fears, try to evaluate them logically to lessen their impact.Remind yourself that these are not facts.These ideas have been put into your head by other people, past experiences, or insecurities, and none of this is based in fact.
Over time, you will reduce your negative self-talk and have a more realistic, positive outlook about your abilities.
For example, you may be nervous about completing an upcoming project at work.
Instead of thinking that your boss won’t be happy with your report, remind yourself that this fear is not set in stone.
Instead, tell yourself that you will do well because you will plan ahead, do your research, and ask for help if you need it.
Say this to yourself, say it to other people, and write it down.
Challenging your negative thoughts in as many ways as possible will provide the greatest benefit.
If you dream of auditioning for a local theatre production, don't tell yourself that you would never get the part.
Tell yourself that you are going to practice and do your best at the next round of auditions.
Say to yourself, "With hard work and commitment, I can do this.
Even if I don't land the lead role, I'll still be proud of my courage and hard work." -
Step 2: Make a list of your positive traits.
To help you get rid of your critical inner voice, make a list of all the all your positive traits.
Think about situations that have gone well, goals that you have met, or challenging circumstances that you have overcome.Remind yourself that it is okay to feel good about yourself and proud of your accomplishments.
Read over your list daily for a while, and then weekly, and then refer to it in moments of self-doubt.
You can even ask friends and family members to add to this list.
They may be able to think of some things that you would not have considered adding to the list.
If you were proud of a presentation you gave at work last quarter, add that to your list.
Describe how you prepared for it, how you felt during the presentation, and the positive feedback you received afterward.
Read this description before your next presentation to stop yourself from underestimating your talents and impact.
Write down the traits that you have that make you a good friend.
If you are a great listener, add that to your list.
If you stood by a friend or a relative during a trying time in their life, acknowledge your loyalty and commitment. , When your inner voice starts to criticize or doubt your abilities, stop and think about what you are saying.
Ask yourself if this is something that you would say to a friend or a relative.
Remind yourself that if others in your life do not deserve such harsh or unhelpful critiques, then you won’t benefit from it either.Consider whether you would say “You’ve never been good at math, and so you won’t do well on this test,” to your friend who is worried about an upcoming exam.
You probably wouldn’t underestimate your friend in that manner.
Acknowledge that that statement wouldn't be helpful to your friend or to you.
Instead, tell yourself that you will do well with hard work and preparation.
If you receive a lot of revisions on your research paper, don't tell yourself that you're not good at writing or that you are bad at a particular subject.
Avoid saying "I just can't do this," or "I am not smart enough to tackle this." Instead, tell yourself that you can and will improve.
Say to yourself, "I know I am a great writer.
I'll work on improving my organization during my revisions and improve the proposal." You can even try visualizing your self-doubting thoughts floating away on a cloud to help you release them. -
Step 3: Stop unhelpful self-criticism or insults.
Detailed Guide
People who underestimate themselves may be held back by negative thoughts, like “I’m not going to do well on my presentation,” or “I could never run in a 10 k.” When you have these self-doubts and fears, try to evaluate them logically to lessen their impact.Remind yourself that these are not facts.These ideas have been put into your head by other people, past experiences, or insecurities, and none of this is based in fact.
Over time, you will reduce your negative self-talk and have a more realistic, positive outlook about your abilities.
For example, you may be nervous about completing an upcoming project at work.
Instead of thinking that your boss won’t be happy with your report, remind yourself that this fear is not set in stone.
Instead, tell yourself that you will do well because you will plan ahead, do your research, and ask for help if you need it.
Say this to yourself, say it to other people, and write it down.
Challenging your negative thoughts in as many ways as possible will provide the greatest benefit.
If you dream of auditioning for a local theatre production, don't tell yourself that you would never get the part.
Tell yourself that you are going to practice and do your best at the next round of auditions.
Say to yourself, "With hard work and commitment, I can do this.
Even if I don't land the lead role, I'll still be proud of my courage and hard work."
To help you get rid of your critical inner voice, make a list of all the all your positive traits.
Think about situations that have gone well, goals that you have met, or challenging circumstances that you have overcome.Remind yourself that it is okay to feel good about yourself and proud of your accomplishments.
Read over your list daily for a while, and then weekly, and then refer to it in moments of self-doubt.
You can even ask friends and family members to add to this list.
They may be able to think of some things that you would not have considered adding to the list.
If you were proud of a presentation you gave at work last quarter, add that to your list.
Describe how you prepared for it, how you felt during the presentation, and the positive feedback you received afterward.
Read this description before your next presentation to stop yourself from underestimating your talents and impact.
Write down the traits that you have that make you a good friend.
If you are a great listener, add that to your list.
If you stood by a friend or a relative during a trying time in their life, acknowledge your loyalty and commitment. , When your inner voice starts to criticize or doubt your abilities, stop and think about what you are saying.
Ask yourself if this is something that you would say to a friend or a relative.
Remind yourself that if others in your life do not deserve such harsh or unhelpful critiques, then you won’t benefit from it either.Consider whether you would say “You’ve never been good at math, and so you won’t do well on this test,” to your friend who is worried about an upcoming exam.
You probably wouldn’t underestimate your friend in that manner.
Acknowledge that that statement wouldn't be helpful to your friend or to you.
Instead, tell yourself that you will do well with hard work and preparation.
If you receive a lot of revisions on your research paper, don't tell yourself that you're not good at writing or that you are bad at a particular subject.
Avoid saying "I just can't do this," or "I am not smart enough to tackle this." Instead, tell yourself that you can and will improve.
Say to yourself, "I know I am a great writer.
I'll work on improving my organization during my revisions and improve the proposal." You can even try visualizing your self-doubting thoughts floating away on a cloud to help you release them.
About the Author
Gary Rivera
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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