How to Successfully Fake Being Sick
Fake a cold or flu., Consider a migraine.Headaches do not cause the kind of noticeable symptoms that a cold or flu would, so you won’t have to do a lot of elaborate set up or change your appearance much for this one., Claim a case of diarrhea.This...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Fake a cold or flu.
These two illnesses are extremely common and everyone is familiar with their signs and symptoms.As long as you can fake sneezing, sniffling, coughing, etc., you can make this work.
Both colds and flus are notorious for making you feel really bad the day before they strike, so you can easily set your plan into motion 24 hours ahead of time.
You won’t need to do much to prepare for this bluff.
Invest in a box of tissues – they’ll make very simple props.
If you want to go the extra mile, make sure you have some pale makeup on hand.
It only takes a quick pat of white face powder or foundation to give yourself a sickly, wan appearance. -
Step 2: Consider a migraine.Headaches do not cause the kind of noticeable symptoms that a cold or flu would
You’ll still have a handful of symptoms to fake, but this sham depends more on your acting skills.
Be prepared to do a lot of temple rubbing, squinting, pouting and pretending to be sensitive to light and sound.
A little pale makeup is the only physical change you’ll need to make, and even that is optional, depending on the strength of your performance. , For this reason, it’s better for getting out of work, not school.
As long as you can handle discussing your bowels with your boss over the phone, the diarrhea scam is the most effective of them all because it’s rarely challenged.
The key to pulling this off is the phone call conversation.
You’ll need to start by sounding very reluctant and embarrassed about the whole thing.
Lower your voice and say something like, “This is so embarrassing, but I’m just going to come out and say it – I am having serious stomach issues today.
I’m running to the bathroom every 15 minutes.
It's really bad.” Insert a dramatic pause before whispering the words “stomach issues.” , Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a chronic stomach affliction that’s fairly common.
The main symptoms are abdominal pain/cramping, bloating, gas, and alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea, which are all virtually invisible to an outsider.Only play this card if you can handle a long con, because IBS is chronic.
Take into consideration that chronic illnesses are serious.
It's not very ethical to fake IBS.
It is far more serious than a simple cold.
Be aware that some employers/schools will want a doctor's note for this.
Take your boss/teacher aside to share the information privately.
Ask that your illness be kept between the two of you, since it’s so personal.
Say that you “suffer from IBS” and it sometimes interferes with your daily life, but you’re working with your doctor to keep it manageable. , If you're trying to get out of work, mention this to coworkers the afternoon before.
Say that you’ve felt “off” all day and you’ve had trouble concentrating.
When someone asks you a question, stare off into space and pretend you didn’t hear them.
When they ask again, shake your head a little, as if you had to force yourself to snap out of it.
Say something like, “I’m sorry, this has been happening to me all day – I must be coming down with something.” Sway a bit and maybe grip the edge of a nearby piece of furniture so that it looks like you’re trying to steady yourself. , For work, do this at lunch the day before.
Drink only water and take small sips of it.
When pressed, say something like, “I don’t know, I’m really just not hungry,” with a pained look on your face.
You could go further and say, “I actually feel pretty nauseous right now.” Look upset about it.
Hide some snacks in your room (or work desk) ahead of time so that you won’t get too hungry later. , Shiver and say something like, “I’m freezing.
Does it seem really cold in here to you? Maybe I should turn off the air conditioner.” If you have access to the temperature controls where you are, adjust them beforehand so that it’s actually pretty warm.
If you're at home and this is for school, wrap yourself in a blanket and walk around the house with it. , Whether this is for school or work, use makeup the day before.
Dust your face lightly with white powder or use foundation to look unusually pale.
Apply a little gray or purple eyeshadow under your eyes so that you look exhausted.
If you're doing this for school, don’t go too far with the makeup the day before – you’ll be using the more impactful makeup the next morning. , You’ll have to turn out the lights in your room and actually pretend to be asleep, so prepare yourself to be a little bored.
Try to cough loudly and clear your throat a few times during the night so your parents will hear you.
If your fake sickness is a stomach virus, be sure to get up several times during the night to go to the bathroom (set an alarm for every 3 hours, if that helps).
Flush twice and wash your hands loudly so you can be heard.
If your fake illness is a migraine, loudly toss and turn all night long.
Moan occasionally.
Knock on your parent's bedroom door at about midnight to ask for ibuprofen with a pained look on your face. , Amplify the symptoms that you were faking the night before – don't add a bunch of new symptoms to the mix.
To properly continue the ruse, just intensify whatever images and symptoms you planted in your parents’ heads the night before.
If this is for work, make sure to remember the symptoms you used the day before.
Mention these in your phone call to your boss. , Use pale foundation and/or powder to look sickly.
Put a dark eyeshadow under your eyes.
Wipe all moisture off your mouth and avoid chapstick.
Mess up your hair and look generally disheveled – maybe have just one sock on.
Rumple your bedclothes so that it looks like you tossed and turned all night.
All of those will be believable if you're faking a cold/flu, stomach virus or a migraine.
Additionally, if you're faking a cold or flu, you should also apply a small amount of blush to the tip of your nose, your nostrils, and the inner corners of your eyes.
Litter crumpled tissues all over your bedside table and floor.
Run hot water over a wash cloth and then apply it to your forehead for a few minutes so that you’ll feel feverish. , Save this for when your parents are definitely awake so they can witness it.
Stay in the bathroom for about 15 minutes.
Cough and sputter loudly and flush multiple times.
Come out slowly, holding your abdomen.
Go back in about 10 minutes later with a look of urgency on your face and repeat the same actions.
Twice is enough.
Don’t overdo it! , If you're trying to get out of work, you'll do this when you call in.
If it's for school say something like, “Oh no, I can’t get sick now! This is terrible timing.
We are doing something really fun in theater class.” Sigh a few times and look bummed out.
Try to steer the conversation so that your parent is urging you to stay home and you’re resisting.
Just be sure to give in very quickly! Don’t overact.
If you take any of this too far, you may end up getting hauled to see a physician.
That will definitely ruin your day off! , When you return to school or work after your day(s) off, make sure to have a few light symptoms.
If you show back up completely healthy, it will look suspicious.
If you were faking a cold/flu, cough occasionally, look tired, and apply the lightest dusting of white powder.
If you were faking a migraine or stomach flu, make sure you look pale and tired.
Use the white powder and also apply a little purple eyeshadow under your eyes.
This will make it look like you haven't been able to sleep well.
Droop your shoulders a bit and be less enthused than usual.
After 2 days you can stop with the makeup.
If you were faking a cold or flu, cough occasionally for 3-4 days after your return. -
Step 3: so you won’t have to do a lot of elaborate set up or change your appearance much for this one.
-
Step 4: Claim a case of diarrhea.This deception depends on planting the right mental imagery rather than faking visible symptoms.
-
Step 5: Go with irritable bowel syndrome to pave the way for future days off.This won't work on parents
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Step 6: but it's effective on teachers and bosses.
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Step 7: Mention that you’ve felt lightheaded all day.On the evening before your day off from school
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Step 8: casually mention to your parents that you feel dizzy.
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Step 9: Pick at your lunch/dinner and eat very little.When you sit down to dinner with your parents the night before
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Step 10: take very small bites and push the food around on your plate a lot.
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Step 11: Ask family members/coworkers if they feel cold.
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Step 12: Use makeup to look pale and exhausted.
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Step 13: Go to bed earlier than usual.The night before school
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Step 14: be sure to yawn a lot
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Step 15: appear exhausted
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Step 16: and mention that you’re going to try to get some extra rest.
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Step 17: Be consistent.
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Step 18: Wake up early to prepare your makeup and props.
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Step 19: Sprint to the bathroom with a hand over your mouth.
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Step 20: Pretend to be upset when discussing if you should stay home.
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Step 21: Keep the act up as you "recover."
Detailed Guide
These two illnesses are extremely common and everyone is familiar with their signs and symptoms.As long as you can fake sneezing, sniffling, coughing, etc., you can make this work.
Both colds and flus are notorious for making you feel really bad the day before they strike, so you can easily set your plan into motion 24 hours ahead of time.
You won’t need to do much to prepare for this bluff.
Invest in a box of tissues – they’ll make very simple props.
If you want to go the extra mile, make sure you have some pale makeup on hand.
It only takes a quick pat of white face powder or foundation to give yourself a sickly, wan appearance.
You’ll still have a handful of symptoms to fake, but this sham depends more on your acting skills.
Be prepared to do a lot of temple rubbing, squinting, pouting and pretending to be sensitive to light and sound.
A little pale makeup is the only physical change you’ll need to make, and even that is optional, depending on the strength of your performance. , For this reason, it’s better for getting out of work, not school.
As long as you can handle discussing your bowels with your boss over the phone, the diarrhea scam is the most effective of them all because it’s rarely challenged.
The key to pulling this off is the phone call conversation.
You’ll need to start by sounding very reluctant and embarrassed about the whole thing.
Lower your voice and say something like, “This is so embarrassing, but I’m just going to come out and say it – I am having serious stomach issues today.
I’m running to the bathroom every 15 minutes.
It's really bad.” Insert a dramatic pause before whispering the words “stomach issues.” , Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a chronic stomach affliction that’s fairly common.
The main symptoms are abdominal pain/cramping, bloating, gas, and alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea, which are all virtually invisible to an outsider.Only play this card if you can handle a long con, because IBS is chronic.
Take into consideration that chronic illnesses are serious.
It's not very ethical to fake IBS.
It is far more serious than a simple cold.
Be aware that some employers/schools will want a doctor's note for this.
Take your boss/teacher aside to share the information privately.
Ask that your illness be kept between the two of you, since it’s so personal.
Say that you “suffer from IBS” and it sometimes interferes with your daily life, but you’re working with your doctor to keep it manageable. , If you're trying to get out of work, mention this to coworkers the afternoon before.
Say that you’ve felt “off” all day and you’ve had trouble concentrating.
When someone asks you a question, stare off into space and pretend you didn’t hear them.
When they ask again, shake your head a little, as if you had to force yourself to snap out of it.
Say something like, “I’m sorry, this has been happening to me all day – I must be coming down with something.” Sway a bit and maybe grip the edge of a nearby piece of furniture so that it looks like you’re trying to steady yourself. , For work, do this at lunch the day before.
Drink only water and take small sips of it.
When pressed, say something like, “I don’t know, I’m really just not hungry,” with a pained look on your face.
You could go further and say, “I actually feel pretty nauseous right now.” Look upset about it.
Hide some snacks in your room (or work desk) ahead of time so that you won’t get too hungry later. , Shiver and say something like, “I’m freezing.
Does it seem really cold in here to you? Maybe I should turn off the air conditioner.” If you have access to the temperature controls where you are, adjust them beforehand so that it’s actually pretty warm.
If you're at home and this is for school, wrap yourself in a blanket and walk around the house with it. , Whether this is for school or work, use makeup the day before.
Dust your face lightly with white powder or use foundation to look unusually pale.
Apply a little gray or purple eyeshadow under your eyes so that you look exhausted.
If you're doing this for school, don’t go too far with the makeup the day before – you’ll be using the more impactful makeup the next morning. , You’ll have to turn out the lights in your room and actually pretend to be asleep, so prepare yourself to be a little bored.
Try to cough loudly and clear your throat a few times during the night so your parents will hear you.
If your fake sickness is a stomach virus, be sure to get up several times during the night to go to the bathroom (set an alarm for every 3 hours, if that helps).
Flush twice and wash your hands loudly so you can be heard.
If your fake illness is a migraine, loudly toss and turn all night long.
Moan occasionally.
Knock on your parent's bedroom door at about midnight to ask for ibuprofen with a pained look on your face. , Amplify the symptoms that you were faking the night before – don't add a bunch of new symptoms to the mix.
To properly continue the ruse, just intensify whatever images and symptoms you planted in your parents’ heads the night before.
If this is for work, make sure to remember the symptoms you used the day before.
Mention these in your phone call to your boss. , Use pale foundation and/or powder to look sickly.
Put a dark eyeshadow under your eyes.
Wipe all moisture off your mouth and avoid chapstick.
Mess up your hair and look generally disheveled – maybe have just one sock on.
Rumple your bedclothes so that it looks like you tossed and turned all night.
All of those will be believable if you're faking a cold/flu, stomach virus or a migraine.
Additionally, if you're faking a cold or flu, you should also apply a small amount of blush to the tip of your nose, your nostrils, and the inner corners of your eyes.
Litter crumpled tissues all over your bedside table and floor.
Run hot water over a wash cloth and then apply it to your forehead for a few minutes so that you’ll feel feverish. , Save this for when your parents are definitely awake so they can witness it.
Stay in the bathroom for about 15 minutes.
Cough and sputter loudly and flush multiple times.
Come out slowly, holding your abdomen.
Go back in about 10 minutes later with a look of urgency on your face and repeat the same actions.
Twice is enough.
Don’t overdo it! , If you're trying to get out of work, you'll do this when you call in.
If it's for school say something like, “Oh no, I can’t get sick now! This is terrible timing.
We are doing something really fun in theater class.” Sigh a few times and look bummed out.
Try to steer the conversation so that your parent is urging you to stay home and you’re resisting.
Just be sure to give in very quickly! Don’t overact.
If you take any of this too far, you may end up getting hauled to see a physician.
That will definitely ruin your day off! , When you return to school or work after your day(s) off, make sure to have a few light symptoms.
If you show back up completely healthy, it will look suspicious.
If you were faking a cold/flu, cough occasionally, look tired, and apply the lightest dusting of white powder.
If you were faking a migraine or stomach flu, make sure you look pale and tired.
Use the white powder and also apply a little purple eyeshadow under your eyes.
This will make it look like you haven't been able to sleep well.
Droop your shoulders a bit and be less enthused than usual.
After 2 days you can stop with the makeup.
If you were faking a cold or flu, cough occasionally for 3-4 days after your return.
About the Author
Sarah Ortiz
Creates helpful guides on pet care to inspire and educate readers.
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