How to Tell Teasing and Bullying Apart
Understand playful teasing., Know different types of teasing., Know when it’s okay to tease., Notice the tone of the statements., Identify hurtful teasing., Control the outcome.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand playful teasing.
It’s common for siblings or teammates to tease others as a way to poke fun of them in a lighthearted or funny way.
If someone teases you as a way to be silly or gently poke fun of you, this should be playful and fun.
Teasing can foster feelings of affection or closeness.
Ideally, the teasing should occur in a relationship where both people can appreciate the teasing and the person being teased is not distressed.If you’re teasing someone, make sure that they are smiling or laughing. -
Step 2: Know different types of teasing.
Generally, there are two types of teasing.
The first, endearment teasing, is a way to bond over something small or silly.
For example, if someone is very dressed up or looking especially put together, you might say, “You got a big date tonight?” Influence teasing might include correcting a behavior, like pointing out to someone that they are speaking with their mouth full.Influence teasing can help to change someone’s behavior without being critical.
Instead, it helps to make light of the situation. , There are some times when it’s okay to tease and other times when it is not okay.
For example, don’t tease someone you just met or barely know.
If you want to tease someone, make sure you have a relationship with them.
Appropriate teasing might happen in a casual social situation, like while friends are hanging out and relaxing.If you’re teasing someone, be ready for them to tease you back! , Teasing should be done in a joking or affectionate tone, not a violent or aggressive tone.
The person teasing shouldn’t be trying to be controversial or mean to the person and everything should be in good fun.
It should be harmless and not cause someone to feel bad or insecure.
It should never feel aggressive.The tone of the conversation shouldn’t escalate or become tense following teasing. , There is a fine line between teasing that is considered acceptable and the kind that is considered controversial.
It is important to avoid the controversial kind of teasing.
Hurtful teasing may not always be intentional, but it can be hurtful nonetheless.
For example, harmful teasing includes making fun of someone’s ethnicity, disability, religious or spiritual beliefs, or looks.
If you know that someone feels self-conscious about something (like their teeth, hair, car, weight, or money), don’t tease them about this, as this teasing makes them feel bad or insecure.If you tease someone and mean for it to be funny yet they seem upset, apologize immediately.
Say that you did not mean to hurt their feelings.
Say, “I’m really sorry.
I didn’t know that would hurt you.
I won’t do it again.” If you’re a parent and overhear hurtful teasing, say, “It’s not nice to talk like that.” , It is very important to be direct with the person who is making the remarks if you do not like the behavior.
If you’re being teased and you ask the person to stop, the person is often quick to cut it out.
With teasing, people tend to be more respectful of boundaries and wanting a positive outcome.
Because the comments are not meant to be hurtful, you can influence whether they continue or not.
If you say, “Hey, I don’t like that,” the person should stop teasing you.A simple, “I don’t find that funny” can stop teasing fairly quickly.
As a parent, you can say, “We don’t talk like that.
Please stop.” -
Step 3: Know when it’s okay to tease.
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Step 4: Notice the tone of the statements.
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Step 5: Identify hurtful teasing.
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Step 6: Control the outcome.
Detailed Guide
It’s common for siblings or teammates to tease others as a way to poke fun of them in a lighthearted or funny way.
If someone teases you as a way to be silly or gently poke fun of you, this should be playful and fun.
Teasing can foster feelings of affection or closeness.
Ideally, the teasing should occur in a relationship where both people can appreciate the teasing and the person being teased is not distressed.If you’re teasing someone, make sure that they are smiling or laughing.
Generally, there are two types of teasing.
The first, endearment teasing, is a way to bond over something small or silly.
For example, if someone is very dressed up or looking especially put together, you might say, “You got a big date tonight?” Influence teasing might include correcting a behavior, like pointing out to someone that they are speaking with their mouth full.Influence teasing can help to change someone’s behavior without being critical.
Instead, it helps to make light of the situation. , There are some times when it’s okay to tease and other times when it is not okay.
For example, don’t tease someone you just met or barely know.
If you want to tease someone, make sure you have a relationship with them.
Appropriate teasing might happen in a casual social situation, like while friends are hanging out and relaxing.If you’re teasing someone, be ready for them to tease you back! , Teasing should be done in a joking or affectionate tone, not a violent or aggressive tone.
The person teasing shouldn’t be trying to be controversial or mean to the person and everything should be in good fun.
It should be harmless and not cause someone to feel bad or insecure.
It should never feel aggressive.The tone of the conversation shouldn’t escalate or become tense following teasing. , There is a fine line between teasing that is considered acceptable and the kind that is considered controversial.
It is important to avoid the controversial kind of teasing.
Hurtful teasing may not always be intentional, but it can be hurtful nonetheless.
For example, harmful teasing includes making fun of someone’s ethnicity, disability, religious or spiritual beliefs, or looks.
If you know that someone feels self-conscious about something (like their teeth, hair, car, weight, or money), don’t tease them about this, as this teasing makes them feel bad or insecure.If you tease someone and mean for it to be funny yet they seem upset, apologize immediately.
Say that you did not mean to hurt their feelings.
Say, “I’m really sorry.
I didn’t know that would hurt you.
I won’t do it again.” If you’re a parent and overhear hurtful teasing, say, “It’s not nice to talk like that.” , It is very important to be direct with the person who is making the remarks if you do not like the behavior.
If you’re being teased and you ask the person to stop, the person is often quick to cut it out.
With teasing, people tend to be more respectful of boundaries and wanting a positive outcome.
Because the comments are not meant to be hurtful, you can influence whether they continue or not.
If you say, “Hey, I don’t like that,” the person should stop teasing you.A simple, “I don’t find that funny” can stop teasing fairly quickly.
As a parent, you can say, “We don’t talk like that.
Please stop.”
About the Author
Samantha Baker
Enthusiastic about teaching DIY projects techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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