How to Think Before Speaking
Observe yourself: Take note of the circumstances when what you say is not what you, upon reflection, would have wanted to say., Recognize your situation: After you determine what circumstances might be most likely to produce this unwanted effect...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Observe yourself: Take note of the circumstances when what you say is not what you
Does it happen mostly with one particular person or a particular group of people or just groups in general? Is it most often in arguments or debates? Is it when you’re "on the spot" and pressed to supply information? Try to find a pattern.
It might be helpful to start a journal of events so you can compare these at your leisure. -
Step 2: upon reflection
The more skilled you become at recognizing this, the better you will be at changing your approach. , Now that you know you’re in one of "those" situations, the goal is for you to process information.
Often when we respond in a less than appropriate way, it’s because we didn’t fully comprehend what was being said.
This is the time to sit back and listen to what’s going on around you.
Don’t start focusing on what you’re going to say; just absorb.
Your mind will process this information in the background. , Some people are very literal and some people use examples.
Some people use a lot of facial expression and body language to augment their conversation, whereas others rely on complex verbiage.
How people convey information is a very good indicator of how they best absorb information. , There are many different ways to say things. and your goal here is to find the best way to convey what you want to say in a way that has a positive impact.
Communication is primarily a function of the recipient so you have to communicate based on the listener. , If you are just responding because other people are talking, then it’s possible your communication doesn’t fit the ENATA model.
If not, then sit back and continue to listen.
You want what you say to have impact, not just make noise. , Creating a negative atmosphere will guarantee failure in communications.
You want people to understand that you are contributing rather than detracting.
It only takes once to ruin your ability to communicate during that time.
Identify how the listeners will react. , Tone of voice can convey enthusiasm and sincerity, or it can rebuff and show sarcasm, and as most people have experienced, what we say can be taken in the wrong way.
The most likely reason is that the tone of voice, what was said, body and facial language, as well as content, were not all thoughtfully combined to integrate with the listener’s most effective method of communication. , Wait for an appropriate break in the conversation and speak.
It’s usually best not to interrupt, although there are occasions when that will work best.
When to interrupt is beyond the scope of this document. , After the conversation is over, review the whole process again in your mind and note what you might have done differently and why.
This is an ongoing process.
Over time, you will refine and improve – you will become a better communicator and people will accept your responses with a more open mind. -
Step 3: would have wanted to say.
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Step 4: Recognize your situation: After you determine what circumstances might be most likely to produce this unwanted effect
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Step 5: try to be very observant about when those conditions appear to be manifesting.
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Step 6: Observe the conversation.
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Step 7: Observe the people: Who is speaking and how do they communicate?
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Step 8: Formulate responses: Not just one
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Step 9: but consider your options.
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Step 10: Consider the information: Is what you want to say Effective
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Step 11: Necessary
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Step 12: Accurate
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Step 13: Timely
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Step 14: and Appropriate (ENATA)?
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Step 15: Gauge the reaction: Is the information you’re going to present formulated in a way to make a positive impact?
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Step 16: Be thoughtful about your tone: How you say it is
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Step 17: in many ways
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Step 18: as important as what you say.
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Step 19: Communicate: You now know what you’ll say
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Step 20: why it’s ENATA
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Step 21: how you’ll say it and the most likely reaction.
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Step 22: Observe yourself again: While you’re talking
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Step 23: consider what you’re saying and keep a close watch on the reactions as they emerge.
Detailed Guide
Does it happen mostly with one particular person or a particular group of people or just groups in general? Is it most often in arguments or debates? Is it when you’re "on the spot" and pressed to supply information? Try to find a pattern.
It might be helpful to start a journal of events so you can compare these at your leisure.
The more skilled you become at recognizing this, the better you will be at changing your approach. , Now that you know you’re in one of "those" situations, the goal is for you to process information.
Often when we respond in a less than appropriate way, it’s because we didn’t fully comprehend what was being said.
This is the time to sit back and listen to what’s going on around you.
Don’t start focusing on what you’re going to say; just absorb.
Your mind will process this information in the background. , Some people are very literal and some people use examples.
Some people use a lot of facial expression and body language to augment their conversation, whereas others rely on complex verbiage.
How people convey information is a very good indicator of how they best absorb information. , There are many different ways to say things. and your goal here is to find the best way to convey what you want to say in a way that has a positive impact.
Communication is primarily a function of the recipient so you have to communicate based on the listener. , If you are just responding because other people are talking, then it’s possible your communication doesn’t fit the ENATA model.
If not, then sit back and continue to listen.
You want what you say to have impact, not just make noise. , Creating a negative atmosphere will guarantee failure in communications.
You want people to understand that you are contributing rather than detracting.
It only takes once to ruin your ability to communicate during that time.
Identify how the listeners will react. , Tone of voice can convey enthusiasm and sincerity, or it can rebuff and show sarcasm, and as most people have experienced, what we say can be taken in the wrong way.
The most likely reason is that the tone of voice, what was said, body and facial language, as well as content, were not all thoughtfully combined to integrate with the listener’s most effective method of communication. , Wait for an appropriate break in the conversation and speak.
It’s usually best not to interrupt, although there are occasions when that will work best.
When to interrupt is beyond the scope of this document. , After the conversation is over, review the whole process again in your mind and note what you might have done differently and why.
This is an ongoing process.
Over time, you will refine and improve – you will become a better communicator and people will accept your responses with a more open mind.
About the Author
Karen Jimenez
Creates helpful guides on creative arts to inspire and educate readers.
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