How to Think of Quick Witted Comebacks

Practice your quick-response abilities., Work on your listening skills., Revisit past situations., Quickly deflect any insults flung your way., Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says., Use sarcasm if you can pull it off well., Don't...

9 Steps 6 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Practice your quick-response abilities.

    Not everyone is comfortable with thinking on their feet, so the art of quick-witted comebacks may depend on memorizing some standard comebacks as a last resort.

    Don't try to be quick witted if you simply aren't wired that way; you risk looking foolish and being so frustrated with yourself that the attempt isn't worth it.

    Memorization and practice can help you get the most out of the abilities you have, and may get you through some good verbal exchanges here and there.

    Like artists in other fields, though, the masters of witty comebacks seem to have an innate gift to pair with their demeanor and preparation.
  2. Step 2: Work on your listening skills.

    There is no magic formula for developing a quicker wit, but improving your listening skills can help immensely.

    Look at the other person, and focus on their words and what they mean by them.

    The wittiest comebacks are created in direct response to what has been said, not pulled out of a stockpile of witticisms that sort of fit the situation.Practice focusing on what is being said instead of letting your mind wander off trying to formulate comebacks.

    Try practice activities like "verbal volleyball," in which you and a partner take turns inventing a story one word at a time
    -- they say a word, you listen closely and come up with the next word as quickly as you can, and so on., Try writing your own version of a conversation that you wished you'd been witty in.

    Replace that past attempt with a better script and work from this point to guide your future wittiness.However, remember that the best comebacks are created in the moment, not rehashed from similar circumstances in the past.

    Use this exercise for inspiration and practice, not as a source for specific comebacks. , If you think about the insult, you'll dwell on it, letting it get to you personally.

    Instead, don't focus on the insult but on responding quickly.The trick behind witty comebacks is speed.

    Don't analyze the ramifications of what has just been said; instead treat it like the game it is and the insult merely becomes a shuttle to be hit back.

    For instance, if someone ends an insult with “and you smell, too," don’t mull over your hygiene routine while formulating a response.

    Focus strictly on the words and come back with something like “Yes, but at least my stink will shower off, unlike your rancid personality."

    Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it.

    See confrontation as an invitation to play rather than a reason to feel insulted.

    If you simply can’t make yourself see things this way, you may be better off avoiding witty comeback attempts in favor of another approach.Seize the opportunity to point out any contradictions the other person makes while trying to show off their wit.

    Doing so usually devalues an insult in the eyes of the insulter.

    However, don't pick something apart for longer than you need to.

    If you get into a long-winded reply, they might interrupt you with another comeback, thereby making what you were saying irrelevant.

    For example, if they say you're not worth their time to insult, reply "Well, I'm glad to hear you weren't actually trying to insult me the past five minutes."

    Sarcasm has its place if it’s treated with cleverness and is not overdone.

    If someone tries to insult you with a nonsensical comment, feel free to drawl sarcastically, "Well, there's an intelligent answer." Brevity is helpful here as well; a sarcastic but rambling monologue will not have the same impact.

    Remember that sarcasm also involves good timing and proper tone of voice.

    Think of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series or Oscar Wilde, both good practitioners of sarcasm that is pulled off succinctly and effectively.

    Use sarcasm playfully, not to cut someone to the core.

    Consider your opponent and whether they’re equipped to see sarcasm for what it is and not take it too personally.For instance: "Oh, that last insult was so close to making sense.

    Please keep trying."

    The most famous examples of witty retorts are invariably short and sweet, finishing the job all at once.In most cases, your witty comeback should be sufficient to end the matter there and then.

    Continuing to discuss, argue, or toss points around will likely weaken the impact of what you've said.

    It's up to you whether you change the topic, walk away to resume conversing with this person another time, or pretend they're not even there anymore.

    The key thing is to have the upper hand before you move on.

    Don't just walk away in the middle of being insulted, because it suggests you can't take it.

    However, you can stand up for yourself if necessary by saying: "I'll come back when your tantrum is over so we can get back to trading insults." That puts the onus on your opponent to behave more appropriately and gives you a dignified exit. , Don't get angry, or even a little annoyed.

    Bear in mind that your opponent's insults are not worth your time or anger.

    Detach yourself from personal dislike of a person and focus on what's been said in a calm, objective manner instead.

    Focus on being witty and stick with your resolve to stay calm.Think of it like stepping to the plate against the other team’s ace pitcher.

    Don’t focus on whether or not he’s a jerk; calmly focus on the ball and driving it into the gap for the game-winning hit.

    Practice looking perfectly calm, even amused or bemused, in front of a mirror.

    Even if you're extremely angry on the inside, on the outside, you are calm – tell yourself this and your thoughts will respond in kind. , While you're learning to be witty, be tactful and diplomatic in the meantime.

    If wittiness never comes to you, at least people will be unaware of all your striving to be witty and will just presume you're polite!
  3. Step 3: Revisit past situations.

  4. Step 4: Quickly deflect any insults flung your way.

  5. Step 5: Be ready and willing to pick apart what someone says.

  6. Step 6: Use sarcasm if you can pull it off well.

  7. Step 7: Don't belabor the point.

  8. Step 8: Stay calm above all else.

  9. Step 9: Don’t try to be witty if you’re not ready for it.

Detailed Guide

Not everyone is comfortable with thinking on their feet, so the art of quick-witted comebacks may depend on memorizing some standard comebacks as a last resort.

Don't try to be quick witted if you simply aren't wired that way; you risk looking foolish and being so frustrated with yourself that the attempt isn't worth it.

Memorization and practice can help you get the most out of the abilities you have, and may get you through some good verbal exchanges here and there.

Like artists in other fields, though, the masters of witty comebacks seem to have an innate gift to pair with their demeanor and preparation.

There is no magic formula for developing a quicker wit, but improving your listening skills can help immensely.

Look at the other person, and focus on their words and what they mean by them.

The wittiest comebacks are created in direct response to what has been said, not pulled out of a stockpile of witticisms that sort of fit the situation.Practice focusing on what is being said instead of letting your mind wander off trying to formulate comebacks.

Try practice activities like "verbal volleyball," in which you and a partner take turns inventing a story one word at a time
-- they say a word, you listen closely and come up with the next word as quickly as you can, and so on., Try writing your own version of a conversation that you wished you'd been witty in.

Replace that past attempt with a better script and work from this point to guide your future wittiness.However, remember that the best comebacks are created in the moment, not rehashed from similar circumstances in the past.

Use this exercise for inspiration and practice, not as a source for specific comebacks. , If you think about the insult, you'll dwell on it, letting it get to you personally.

Instead, don't focus on the insult but on responding quickly.The trick behind witty comebacks is speed.

Don't analyze the ramifications of what has just been said; instead treat it like the game it is and the insult merely becomes a shuttle to be hit back.

For instance, if someone ends an insult with “and you smell, too," don’t mull over your hygiene routine while formulating a response.

Focus strictly on the words and come back with something like “Yes, but at least my stink will shower off, unlike your rancid personality."

Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it.

See confrontation as an invitation to play rather than a reason to feel insulted.

If you simply can’t make yourself see things this way, you may be better off avoiding witty comeback attempts in favor of another approach.Seize the opportunity to point out any contradictions the other person makes while trying to show off their wit.

Doing so usually devalues an insult in the eyes of the insulter.

However, don't pick something apart for longer than you need to.

If you get into a long-winded reply, they might interrupt you with another comeback, thereby making what you were saying irrelevant.

For example, if they say you're not worth their time to insult, reply "Well, I'm glad to hear you weren't actually trying to insult me the past five minutes."

Sarcasm has its place if it’s treated with cleverness and is not overdone.

If someone tries to insult you with a nonsensical comment, feel free to drawl sarcastically, "Well, there's an intelligent answer." Brevity is helpful here as well; a sarcastic but rambling monologue will not have the same impact.

Remember that sarcasm also involves good timing and proper tone of voice.

Think of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series or Oscar Wilde, both good practitioners of sarcasm that is pulled off succinctly and effectively.

Use sarcasm playfully, not to cut someone to the core.

Consider your opponent and whether they’re equipped to see sarcasm for what it is and not take it too personally.For instance: "Oh, that last insult was so close to making sense.

Please keep trying."

The most famous examples of witty retorts are invariably short and sweet, finishing the job all at once.In most cases, your witty comeback should be sufficient to end the matter there and then.

Continuing to discuss, argue, or toss points around will likely weaken the impact of what you've said.

It's up to you whether you change the topic, walk away to resume conversing with this person another time, or pretend they're not even there anymore.

The key thing is to have the upper hand before you move on.

Don't just walk away in the middle of being insulted, because it suggests you can't take it.

However, you can stand up for yourself if necessary by saying: "I'll come back when your tantrum is over so we can get back to trading insults." That puts the onus on your opponent to behave more appropriately and gives you a dignified exit. , Don't get angry, or even a little annoyed.

Bear in mind that your opponent's insults are not worth your time or anger.

Detach yourself from personal dislike of a person and focus on what's been said in a calm, objective manner instead.

Focus on being witty and stick with your resolve to stay calm.Think of it like stepping to the plate against the other team’s ace pitcher.

Don’t focus on whether or not he’s a jerk; calmly focus on the ball and driving it into the gap for the game-winning hit.

Practice looking perfectly calm, even amused or bemused, in front of a mirror.

Even if you're extremely angry on the inside, on the outside, you are calm – tell yourself this and your thoughts will respond in kind. , While you're learning to be witty, be tactful and diplomatic in the meantime.

If wittiness never comes to you, at least people will be unaware of all your striving to be witty and will just presume you're polite!

About the Author

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Diana Murray

Specializes in breaking down complex hobbies topics into simple steps.

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