How to Tolerate Those You Have a Personality Clash With

Identify your problem with the person., Take responsibility for your actions., Consider the other person’s perspectives., Let go of your expectations., Accept the person as they are., See the positive qualities in the person., Get to know the...

8 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Identify your problem with the person.

    In many cases, a personality conflict arises because of expectations, differences of opinion, or some other underlying issue.

    Identifying what your problem is with a person may help you realize that your conflict is foolish, which in turn may help you build a positive relationship with the person.Consider if you’ve had a bad experience with the person, or if you’re relying on rumors or someone else’s conflict to inform your opinion on the other person.If you’ve had a legitimate problem with the person, addressing it can be the first step to resolving the issue.
  2. Step 2: Take responsibility for your actions.

    You are in control your actions and many of the negative attitudes you harbor are influenced directly by you.

    By taking responsibility for your interactions with a person you can’t tolerate, you can begin to move forward in your relationship with the person.Negative thoughts cultivate negative actions.

    If you decide to give the person a legitimate chance, you may help cultivate positive changes in your interactions with them.For example, if you are in a meeting or in a class with this person and they start to speak, don’t immediately tune them out.

    Instead, listen closely and see the positive in their statements.

    If you can’t find anything, tell yourself it took a lot of courage to speak up. , Every person has their own perspectives and opinions that are formed based on their experiences.

    Consider where this person is coming from in their behaviors.

    By acknowledging that she perspectives that differ from yours can help you to give the person a chance.You cannot begin to shift your relationship with the person until you acknowledge that your truth is not the only or right view. , Conflict can begin with expectations of others.

    Letting go of unrealistic or negative expectations may not only help you change your attitude on the person, but could also sew the seeds of a more positive environment.Accept that no person is perfect.

    Imperfection adds character and letting go of any expectations of perfection will help you focus on the positive in others.If the person says something negative, consider it briefly and then let it go.

    Being negative can only cause further problems., Holding a grudges and dwelling on conflict will only exacerbate problems.

    Accepting the person as they are and letting go of conflict can help you to move on in your interactions.Acceptance can help remove negative attitudes towards the person and help you give the person a chance to redeem herself.

    It can also decrease stress and in your life., Holding on to negative thoughts and attitudes about another person is draining and if you constantly entertain them, they can become stronger.

    Learning to see the positive in any person may help to shift your relationship with her.Even the worst person has good qualities.

    It might take some time to recognize them, but being able to see the positive traits in a person can help you to give her a chance. , Ask the person if you can have a friendly conversation and exchange views with her.

    This kind of conversation can help you to understand her viewpoints and may provide you context or information that can change your opinion of her.

    Ask your conversation mate lots of questions so that you have a chance to get to know them more than superficially. , Always be respectful of other person and don’t debate or fight with the person about his views or experiences.

    Being respectful and not arguing can give you the chance to consider his perspectives.

    You may find that even if you don’t agree with the person, that she isn’t as insufferable as you thought.Remember that you can learn from any conversation and arguing is counterproductive to moving on in your relationship.
  3. Step 3: Consider the other person’s perspectives.

  4. Step 4: Let go of your expectations.

  5. Step 5: Accept the person as they are.

  6. Step 6: See the positive qualities in the person.

  7. Step 7: Get to know the person.

  8. Step 8: Be respectful and don’t debate with the person.

Detailed Guide

In many cases, a personality conflict arises because of expectations, differences of opinion, or some other underlying issue.

Identifying what your problem is with a person may help you realize that your conflict is foolish, which in turn may help you build a positive relationship with the person.Consider if you’ve had a bad experience with the person, or if you’re relying on rumors or someone else’s conflict to inform your opinion on the other person.If you’ve had a legitimate problem with the person, addressing it can be the first step to resolving the issue.

You are in control your actions and many of the negative attitudes you harbor are influenced directly by you.

By taking responsibility for your interactions with a person you can’t tolerate, you can begin to move forward in your relationship with the person.Negative thoughts cultivate negative actions.

If you decide to give the person a legitimate chance, you may help cultivate positive changes in your interactions with them.For example, if you are in a meeting or in a class with this person and they start to speak, don’t immediately tune them out.

Instead, listen closely and see the positive in their statements.

If you can’t find anything, tell yourself it took a lot of courage to speak up. , Every person has their own perspectives and opinions that are formed based on their experiences.

Consider where this person is coming from in their behaviors.

By acknowledging that she perspectives that differ from yours can help you to give the person a chance.You cannot begin to shift your relationship with the person until you acknowledge that your truth is not the only or right view. , Conflict can begin with expectations of others.

Letting go of unrealistic or negative expectations may not only help you change your attitude on the person, but could also sew the seeds of a more positive environment.Accept that no person is perfect.

Imperfection adds character and letting go of any expectations of perfection will help you focus on the positive in others.If the person says something negative, consider it briefly and then let it go.

Being negative can only cause further problems., Holding a grudges and dwelling on conflict will only exacerbate problems.

Accepting the person as they are and letting go of conflict can help you to move on in your interactions.Acceptance can help remove negative attitudes towards the person and help you give the person a chance to redeem herself.

It can also decrease stress and in your life., Holding on to negative thoughts and attitudes about another person is draining and if you constantly entertain them, they can become stronger.

Learning to see the positive in any person may help to shift your relationship with her.Even the worst person has good qualities.

It might take some time to recognize them, but being able to see the positive traits in a person can help you to give her a chance. , Ask the person if you can have a friendly conversation and exchange views with her.

This kind of conversation can help you to understand her viewpoints and may provide you context or information that can change your opinion of her.

Ask your conversation mate lots of questions so that you have a chance to get to know them more than superficially. , Always be respectful of other person and don’t debate or fight with the person about his views or experiences.

Being respectful and not arguing can give you the chance to consider his perspectives.

You may find that even if you don’t agree with the person, that she isn’t as insufferable as you thought.Remember that you can learn from any conversation and arguing is counterproductive to moving on in your relationship.

About the Author

K

Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson specializes in education and learning and has been creating helpful content for over 12 years. Karen is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.

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