How to Turn Down a Reference Request
Be polite., Explain that you don't know them well enough., Decline because you can't recommend them., Tell the truth., Keep your conversation concise.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be polite.
It’s always possible to be both polite and honest.
Choose your words carefully, and stick to the point.
Keep in mind that the person is asking you because he or she thinks you will provide a good recommendation.
Your refusal may cause hurt and disappointment, but courtesy and kindness may soften the blow.There’s no reason to say, “No way, you were a terrible employee, and we all hated you!” Instead you might say, "Based on our past experiences, I can't in good conscience give you the recommendation you seek." Instead of “No way!,” say “I can’t do that.” -
Step 2: Explain that you don't know them well enough.
Outlining your reasons for saying no can help ease the situation.
If you are turning down the request because you do not know the person well enough, that’s a relatively easy situation to handle.You might say, “Since we haven’t worked together long, I don’t think I would be able to provide a strong enough reference for you.” , If you are turning down the request because the person’s performance does not merit a recommendation, that’s a bit trickier.
Ultimately, though, you need to be honest.
Perhaps your refusal will prompt them to work harder in the future.
You might simply say, “I don’t feel comfortable providing a strong reference for you.” , Lying might resolve the situation temporarily, but it’s likely to catch up to you.
Ultimately, it does not help you or the person who needs the reference.
You don’t need to be blunt to the point of rudeness, but you should not invent excuses for turning the person down., You can probably explain yourself in a sentence or two.
You don’t need to expand on your reasons or lecture the person unnecessarily.
Simply say no, state your reason briefly, and consider suggesting someone else. -
Step 3: Decline because you can't recommend them.
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Step 4: Tell the truth.
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Step 5: Keep your conversation concise.
Detailed Guide
It’s always possible to be both polite and honest.
Choose your words carefully, and stick to the point.
Keep in mind that the person is asking you because he or she thinks you will provide a good recommendation.
Your refusal may cause hurt and disappointment, but courtesy and kindness may soften the blow.There’s no reason to say, “No way, you were a terrible employee, and we all hated you!” Instead you might say, "Based on our past experiences, I can't in good conscience give you the recommendation you seek." Instead of “No way!,” say “I can’t do that.”
Outlining your reasons for saying no can help ease the situation.
If you are turning down the request because you do not know the person well enough, that’s a relatively easy situation to handle.You might say, “Since we haven’t worked together long, I don’t think I would be able to provide a strong enough reference for you.” , If you are turning down the request because the person’s performance does not merit a recommendation, that’s a bit trickier.
Ultimately, though, you need to be honest.
Perhaps your refusal will prompt them to work harder in the future.
You might simply say, “I don’t feel comfortable providing a strong reference for you.” , Lying might resolve the situation temporarily, but it’s likely to catch up to you.
Ultimately, it does not help you or the person who needs the reference.
You don’t need to be blunt to the point of rudeness, but you should not invent excuses for turning the person down., You can probably explain yourself in a sentence or two.
You don’t need to expand on your reasons or lecture the person unnecessarily.
Simply say no, state your reason briefly, and consider suggesting someone else.
About the Author
Sophia Hart
Writer and educator with a focus on practical hobbies knowledge.
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