How to Win a Fist Fight (Full Proof Version)

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Never start the fight.

   Words do hurt, so be careful what you say.
   
   And if someone speaks to you in a nasty manner, ignore them or engage them in conversation.
2. 2

   Step 2: If it is a standoff between your attacker and you

   If there are multiple attackers, calmly ask them to back off and that you do not want to fight. (It's much better to go home penniless than injured).
   
   If that doesn't work, and they want a fight, strike first.
   
   Do not let them punch you before doing anything. , If you are facing up against two or more opponents, attempt to leave the area fast.
   
   Walk briskly away to any place where people are.
   
   If they try to stop you by touching you in any way.
   
   Then it's GO TIME. , They'll say "what?" or start laughing with their friends.
   
   Before they can do anything else.
   
   Take your dominant hand and make a stiff C with it.
   
   Flex your arm and fingers, and hit them in the neck as hard as you possibly can.
   
   Squeeze their Adam's apple if possible.
   
   Their first reaction will be to try to get your hand off.
   
   The person you have first attacked will be in complete and utter shock at what you just did.
   
   No 360 spin kick or submission hold will stop you.
   
   If you don't believe me, go ask a family member or friend to grab your windpipe and squeeze.
   
   What's your first reaction? Painful, wasn't it? , (Don't be a wuss, who cares if it's gross or you get a little slimy.) , Run if possible.
   
   They may not continue to assault you if they know what you are capable of.
   
   If they do, get to a police station or run into any area with lighting and lots of cars or people.
   
   My suggestion would be cars: kick and hit as many cars as you can without hurting yourself, some may have car alarms.
   
   Which does what? Right... it makes people alerted and go see what's happening.
   
   Yell and scream the whole way there. , Do not pick it up; they may pick it up and use it on you. , Do not listen to the pacifist idiots that say avoid injuring the person at all costs.
   
   If they touch you, they obviously mean harm to you.
   
   So return the favor.
   
   Let them know that they just made the biggest mistake of their lives. , This brutal slap will damage their equilibrium making them disoriented allowing you to run or finish them off.
   
   If you don't know how to all you have to do is cup your hands and slap their ears at the same time.
   
   You'll be amazed at what their reaction will be to that.
3. 3

   Step 3: do not hesitate to go on the offensive.

4. 4

   Step 4: Leave the area.

5. 5

   Step 5: Push away and start saying a random phrase.

6. 6

   Step 6: While your hand is currently occupied by strangling the piss out of your opponent

7. 7

   Step 7: take your weaker hand

8. 8

   Step 8: and shove your thumb into their eyeballs.

9. 9

   Step 9: This will completely incapacitate your first attacker

10. 10

    Step 10: leaving you time to flee the scene.

11. 11

    Step 11: Do not find a weapon

12. 12

    Step 12: if you do not plan on using it violently and to severely injure your attacker.

13. 13

    Step 13: It's a lot better to hurt the opponent if you need to defend yourself.

14. 14

    Step 14: But one thing that works among all things is boxing out their ears.

Detailed Guide

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