How to Help Kids Grieving the Death of Their Dog
Choose a good time., Tell your child that the dog has died., Explain death., Answer their questions., Consider what is appropriate to tell your child.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Choose a good time.
While you may want to tell the child as soon as you know about the death, you should wait for an appropriate time.
Do not tell the child about the dog’s death right before they have to go to school or to bed.
This may cause them to have trouble concentrating or sleeping.After they return home from school is a good time to tell them.
If you know in advance that the dog is dying or that you will need to euthanize the dog, you can start the talk early.
You can say, “Roger is very old and sick.
The vets did everything they could, and now we have to say goodbye.
This is the nicest thing that we can do for him.
He will die peacefully and without pain.” -
Step 2: Tell your child that the dog has died.
Use direct language.
Tell your child that the dog is dead.
Do not use euphemisms like “Bailey went to sleep” or “Macy is now in heaven.” Young children often take these very literally, and it may scare or confuse them.You can say, “We have very sad news.
Daisy died today.” Avoid telling your child that the dog ran away.
This may confuse them, and they may expect the dog to return., The death of a family dog may be the first time the child has lost someone in their life.
Your child may not understand that their dog is gone forever.
This may be a good opportunity to teach young children about death and mourning in a healthy, protected environment.
You should explain that death is natural.
You can say, “All animals eventually pass away.
The important thing is that we remember our loved ones, and we keep them in our hearts forever.” If your child is very young, they may ask you what death is.
It may be easiest to describe it by saying that the body stops working.
You can say “Death is when you stop breathing, and your heart stops beating.”Younger children may not understand that death is permanent or final.
You might tell them, “Death is natural, and it lasts forever.
Max may not return to us, but that does not mean we have to forget him.” Over time, your child will come to understand death., Your child may have many questions about what death is or where their beloved dog went.
Patiently answer these questions.
Keep in mind that their questioning may not occur all at once; they may have many questions over a period of days.
If your child asks what will happen to the dog’s body, you can say, “We are going to have Max cremated.
This means that his body will be turned into ashes.
Don’t worry.
He can’t feel pain anymore.” You can also say,“We’re going to bury Lulu in the backyard.” Avoid using words like “burn” or “fire.”If your child asks what happens to the dog after death, you can take the opportunity to explain any beliefs about the afterlife that you may hold.
You can also say “I don’t know” if you're not sure about the afterlife.
You can even state that although the dog is no longer with you, they will always live in your happy memories of them.If your child asks if they are going to die or if you are going to die, you can tell them, “It’s not likely to happen for a long time.”, What and how you tell your child can depend on their age, maturity, and relationship with the dog.
Think about how much your child is capable of understanding and how they might react to the news.Young children may not understand what is going on, but they should still be told that the dog has died.
Older children may be able to handle the news better, but they may also begin to act out as part of their grief.
If the dog was killed in an accident, you should be careful with what details you tell your children.
Younger children may become scared or anxious if you tell them that the dog was hit by a car or attacked by another dog.
Instead, you can say, “Sparky died today.
It was very sudden.” Older children may be able to handle the idea that their dog was killed in an accident, but you should only inform them about the cause of death, not any of the particular details.
For example, you can say “There was an accident.
Lulu was hit by a car, and unfortunately, she did not survive.” In this case you should emphasize that no one was at fault.
You can say, “It was an accident.
We’re not blaming anyone for it.” -
Step 3: Explain death.
-
Step 4: Answer their questions.
-
Step 5: Consider what is appropriate to tell your child.
Detailed Guide
While you may want to tell the child as soon as you know about the death, you should wait for an appropriate time.
Do not tell the child about the dog’s death right before they have to go to school or to bed.
This may cause them to have trouble concentrating or sleeping.After they return home from school is a good time to tell them.
If you know in advance that the dog is dying or that you will need to euthanize the dog, you can start the talk early.
You can say, “Roger is very old and sick.
The vets did everything they could, and now we have to say goodbye.
This is the nicest thing that we can do for him.
He will die peacefully and without pain.”
Use direct language.
Tell your child that the dog is dead.
Do not use euphemisms like “Bailey went to sleep” or “Macy is now in heaven.” Young children often take these very literally, and it may scare or confuse them.You can say, “We have very sad news.
Daisy died today.” Avoid telling your child that the dog ran away.
This may confuse them, and they may expect the dog to return., The death of a family dog may be the first time the child has lost someone in their life.
Your child may not understand that their dog is gone forever.
This may be a good opportunity to teach young children about death and mourning in a healthy, protected environment.
You should explain that death is natural.
You can say, “All animals eventually pass away.
The important thing is that we remember our loved ones, and we keep them in our hearts forever.” If your child is very young, they may ask you what death is.
It may be easiest to describe it by saying that the body stops working.
You can say “Death is when you stop breathing, and your heart stops beating.”Younger children may not understand that death is permanent or final.
You might tell them, “Death is natural, and it lasts forever.
Max may not return to us, but that does not mean we have to forget him.” Over time, your child will come to understand death., Your child may have many questions about what death is or where their beloved dog went.
Patiently answer these questions.
Keep in mind that their questioning may not occur all at once; they may have many questions over a period of days.
If your child asks what will happen to the dog’s body, you can say, “We are going to have Max cremated.
This means that his body will be turned into ashes.
Don’t worry.
He can’t feel pain anymore.” You can also say,“We’re going to bury Lulu in the backyard.” Avoid using words like “burn” or “fire.”If your child asks what happens to the dog after death, you can take the opportunity to explain any beliefs about the afterlife that you may hold.
You can also say “I don’t know” if you're not sure about the afterlife.
You can even state that although the dog is no longer with you, they will always live in your happy memories of them.If your child asks if they are going to die or if you are going to die, you can tell them, “It’s not likely to happen for a long time.”, What and how you tell your child can depend on their age, maturity, and relationship with the dog.
Think about how much your child is capable of understanding and how they might react to the news.Young children may not understand what is going on, but they should still be told that the dog has died.
Older children may be able to handle the news better, but they may also begin to act out as part of their grief.
If the dog was killed in an accident, you should be careful with what details you tell your children.
Younger children may become scared or anxious if you tell them that the dog was hit by a car or attacked by another dog.
Instead, you can say, “Sparky died today.
It was very sudden.” Older children may be able to handle the idea that their dog was killed in an accident, but you should only inform them about the cause of death, not any of the particular details.
For example, you can say “There was an accident.
Lulu was hit by a car, and unfortunately, she did not survive.” In this case you should emphasize that no one was at fault.
You can say, “It was an accident.
We’re not blaming anyone for it.”
About the Author
Amanda Thomas
Brings years of experience writing about home improvement and related subjects.
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