How to Treat Children and Teens With Special Needs
Assume the best., Avoid assumptions., Don't fear disability., Treat their disability and its symptoms as natural., Talk to them the same way you'd talk to another kid their age., Don't disclose an invisible disability without consent., Recognize...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Assume the best.
Presume competence, and always err on the side of assuming that the child means well.
Sometimes disabled children are assumed to be angry or disobedient when their disability is impeding their ability to move smoothly or process the demands being placed upon them. -
Step 2: Avoid assumptions.
Instead, ask questions if you don't know.
If you're well-meaning, most people with special needs are happy to fill you in.
Don't assume that someone with a physical or developmental disability is intellectually disabled.
Ask before helping out: "Do you want me to move this chair out of your way?" Sometimes the disabled person wants to do something different than you anticipated (e.g. getting out of the wheelchair to sit in the chair).
Abilities can vary day to day.
Someone who can walk with crutches today might need a wheelchair tomorrow. , It may be new to you, but to the person with special needs, it's a fact of life.
Disability does not need to be scary. , Kids and teens with special needs may be insecure about their disability.
Treat it similarly to how you'd handle a peanut allergy: talk about it calmly and casually, and accommodate it without making a fuss.
This sends the message that you care, and that their needs are not a burden.
Assume that any harmless disability symptoms (e.g. stimming) are there for a reason.
Treat them as a personal quirk and let them be.
If you aren't sure about their needs, it's okay to ask. "Do you need help with the door?" "Is the noise bothering you?"
Bending down and using baby talk might be appropriate with a two-year-old, but not with a twelve-year-old.
Use a tone and body language that convey respect for them.
If they are fully articulate, then model your vocabulary usage after theirs.
Listening to the words they use will help you know what level of words they understand.
If they are not fully articulate, then use the same vocabulary you'd use for their same-age peers. (For example, you would use your normal vocabulary with a nonverbal seventeen-year-old.) , Some disabled people can "pass" as non-disabled, and while this can drain energy, it also makes them less vulnerable to discrimination and intrusive questions.
If they have an invisible disability, talk with them about who knows and who doesn't know.
Maybe it's public knowledge, or maybe it's a secret. , Disability means they face challenges, but this does not make them devoid of strengths.
Encourage their talents and cheer them on.
Treat their strengths the same way you'd treat a non-disabled person's strengths. , Kids and teens with special needs are worthwhile people, and they often have something to contribute (whether it's help with your calculus homework or a hug when you need it).
Give them a chance.
They may surprise you. , They want to be seen as a person, while having their limits and challenges respected.
If you accommodate their needs, recognize their strengths, and listen to them, you will have achieved this. -
Step 3: Don't fear disability.
-
Step 4: Treat their disability and its symptoms as natural.
-
Step 5: Talk to them the same way you'd talk to another kid their age.
-
Step 6: Don't disclose an invisible disability without consent.
-
Step 7: Recognize their strengths.
-
Step 8: Let them support you.
-
Step 9: See the person and the disability.
Detailed Guide
Presume competence, and always err on the side of assuming that the child means well.
Sometimes disabled children are assumed to be angry or disobedient when their disability is impeding their ability to move smoothly or process the demands being placed upon them.
Instead, ask questions if you don't know.
If you're well-meaning, most people with special needs are happy to fill you in.
Don't assume that someone with a physical or developmental disability is intellectually disabled.
Ask before helping out: "Do you want me to move this chair out of your way?" Sometimes the disabled person wants to do something different than you anticipated (e.g. getting out of the wheelchair to sit in the chair).
Abilities can vary day to day.
Someone who can walk with crutches today might need a wheelchair tomorrow. , It may be new to you, but to the person with special needs, it's a fact of life.
Disability does not need to be scary. , Kids and teens with special needs may be insecure about their disability.
Treat it similarly to how you'd handle a peanut allergy: talk about it calmly and casually, and accommodate it without making a fuss.
This sends the message that you care, and that their needs are not a burden.
Assume that any harmless disability symptoms (e.g. stimming) are there for a reason.
Treat them as a personal quirk and let them be.
If you aren't sure about their needs, it's okay to ask. "Do you need help with the door?" "Is the noise bothering you?"
Bending down and using baby talk might be appropriate with a two-year-old, but not with a twelve-year-old.
Use a tone and body language that convey respect for them.
If they are fully articulate, then model your vocabulary usage after theirs.
Listening to the words they use will help you know what level of words they understand.
If they are not fully articulate, then use the same vocabulary you'd use for their same-age peers. (For example, you would use your normal vocabulary with a nonverbal seventeen-year-old.) , Some disabled people can "pass" as non-disabled, and while this can drain energy, it also makes them less vulnerable to discrimination and intrusive questions.
If they have an invisible disability, talk with them about who knows and who doesn't know.
Maybe it's public knowledge, or maybe it's a secret. , Disability means they face challenges, but this does not make them devoid of strengths.
Encourage their talents and cheer them on.
Treat their strengths the same way you'd treat a non-disabled person's strengths. , Kids and teens with special needs are worthwhile people, and they often have something to contribute (whether it's help with your calculus homework or a hug when you need it).
Give them a chance.
They may surprise you. , They want to be seen as a person, while having their limits and challenges respected.
If you accommodate their needs, recognize their strengths, and listen to them, you will have achieved this.
About the Author
Mark Sanders
Specializes in breaking down complex hobbies topics into simple steps.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: