How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Think about your apology and really get to the bottom of the problem.

   Anyone can say they are sorry, but not everyone can mean it and back it up with a solution.
   
   Be aware that your girlfriend might expect you to think about your actions and/or words for a while before apologizing to her.
   
   Before you issue your apology, have solid answers about:
   Why you did what you did, or said what you said, to upset her.
   
   What aspect of your personality that comes from.
   
   How you plan on fixing it so that neither you nor your girlfriend will have to go through the pain again.
2. 2

   Step 2: Start off with a simple

   Don't hem or haw, or try to apologize without actually saying "sorry." Your girlfriend probably wants to hear those exact words, so be prepared to say them up front. , Tell her you really want to fix the problem and get your relationship back on track.
   
   Don't yell or talk over her; you may frighten or upset her and make things worse.
   
   If she seems really upset and doesn't want to handle your apology right now, leave.
   
   Ask her if you can give her a call in a couple days. , If you thought about the problem (Step 1), you should have a pretty good idea about what and why you did wrong, and how you can fix it in the future.
   
   Example: "I know I owe you an apology.
   
   I shouldn't have lied to you or your parents about my age.
   
   I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't want you or them to not trust me because I'm older.
   
   I really care about you and your parents, so I plan on apologizing to them directly.
   
   I understand if you or they are still mad at me after this." Example: "I shouldn't have looked at Stacy the way I did.
   
   I know that she's your friend, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with you or your relationship with her.
   
   I don't have an excuse for my actions, only an explanation: lots of guys look at girls.
   
   Now that I know it really bothers you, I'll try my hardest not to make the same mistake again." Example: "I apologize for calling you that name — I'm not even going to repeat it.
   
   It was wrong and degrading.
   
   I recognize that.
   
   I shouldn't have gotten worked up, and I shouldn't have let that slip.
   
   I realize that you might change your opinion of me based on that, so I'm going to try to do everything in my power to make it up to you."
   
   Let her ask you all the questions she needs an answer for.
   
   Respond truthfully.
   
   A couple of things to keep in mind as you let her grill you:
   Don't shift the blame.
   
   Even if you're not the only one who's at fault, it's not a good idea to blame her.
   
   Your apology won't work if you do that.
   
   Let her express how angry, disappointed, or upset she is.
   
   Don't try to convince her not to be; she has a right to.
   
   It'll make her feel better.
   
   Don't try to show her affection at this point — it's probably still a little too early.
   
   That means no kisses, hugs, or hand holding unless she starts it. , Reiterate your apology again briefly and walk away if she wants time alone.
   
   Respect the way she wants to do things.
3. 3

   Step 3: blunt "I'm sorry."

4. 4

   Step 4: If she asks you to leave

5. 5

   Step 5: tell her you want to apologize.

6. 6

   Step 6: Calmly explain to her the reasons behind your actions.

7. 7

   Step 7: Give her time to respond.

8. 8

   Step 8: Tell her you'll give her time if she needs it.

Detailed Guide

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