How to Ask a Deaf Person for a Date
Find out if they can read lips., Find out if they use their voice., Find out if they know sign language., See if they have an interpreter., Decide what the best way to communicate with them is.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out if they can read lips.
If you have already talked to your crush, then you should know whether or not they can read lips.
If you haven’t talked to your crush but see them around, watch how they communicate in social situations.
If you notice that they can understand what people say without the use of sign language, then they can read lips.Not all deaf people can read lips, so don’t assume they can if you don’t already know. -
Step 2: Find out if they use their voice.
Some people who are deaf read lips and speak aloud, especially if they are on the hard of hearing as opposed to profoundly deaf end of the spectrum.
Watch how they communicate with hearing people who don’t know how to sign.
Also know that just because they use sign language when talking to other deaf people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t speak when talking to hearing people. , While most deaf people know ASL or another form of sign language, not all do.
If you know sign language, it will be easier to communicate with your crush.
See how they talk to their deaf friends.
If you only see them in an environment with hearing people and want to know if they know sign language, you can ask mutual acquaintances.If you don't know sign language, weigh the pros and cons of learning a couple phrases.
Some could appreciate the gesture of learning, while others may feel that it's silly to learn these phrases if for the rest of your conversations you will have to communicate without sign language.
If you already know your crush, learning a couple phrases could be seen as sweet.
If you don't, the gesture could be more confusing or off-putting.
For this reason, if you don't know sign language and are unsure of whether your crush would appreciate it, it may be best to communicate in a consistent way, either by writing or speaking. , Your crush may have an interpreter, especially if he or she is a student in a primarily hearing class.
If you usually see your crush with an interpreter, plan to ask them out with the interpreter's help.
When you speak through an interpreter, make sure to look at your crush while you are talking.
Your crush is the person you are having the conversation with, and the interpreter is just there to translate.
Looking at the interpreter instead of the person you are talking to is considered rude and it changes the dynamic of the conversation.
Keep in mind that the interpreter will not be going on the date with you two, so you will need to find another method of communication for when you are alone together. , If you already have talked to your crush, you will know how best to communicate.
If you’ve never spoken to them before, think about what the best way would be for your individual situation.
For instance, if your crush reads lips and speaks, plan to talk with them face-on so that they can clearly read your lips.
If your crush reads lips and speaks sign language, plan on signing to them.
If you don’t know sign language, plan to write down your message.
Also consider texting your crush if you have their number. -
Step 3: Find out if they know sign language.
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Step 4: See if they have an interpreter.
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Step 5: Decide what the best way to communicate with them is.
Detailed Guide
If you have already talked to your crush, then you should know whether or not they can read lips.
If you haven’t talked to your crush but see them around, watch how they communicate in social situations.
If you notice that they can understand what people say without the use of sign language, then they can read lips.Not all deaf people can read lips, so don’t assume they can if you don’t already know.
Some people who are deaf read lips and speak aloud, especially if they are on the hard of hearing as opposed to profoundly deaf end of the spectrum.
Watch how they communicate with hearing people who don’t know how to sign.
Also know that just because they use sign language when talking to other deaf people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t speak when talking to hearing people. , While most deaf people know ASL or another form of sign language, not all do.
If you know sign language, it will be easier to communicate with your crush.
See how they talk to their deaf friends.
If you only see them in an environment with hearing people and want to know if they know sign language, you can ask mutual acquaintances.If you don't know sign language, weigh the pros and cons of learning a couple phrases.
Some could appreciate the gesture of learning, while others may feel that it's silly to learn these phrases if for the rest of your conversations you will have to communicate without sign language.
If you already know your crush, learning a couple phrases could be seen as sweet.
If you don't, the gesture could be more confusing or off-putting.
For this reason, if you don't know sign language and are unsure of whether your crush would appreciate it, it may be best to communicate in a consistent way, either by writing or speaking. , Your crush may have an interpreter, especially if he or she is a student in a primarily hearing class.
If you usually see your crush with an interpreter, plan to ask them out with the interpreter's help.
When you speak through an interpreter, make sure to look at your crush while you are talking.
Your crush is the person you are having the conversation with, and the interpreter is just there to translate.
Looking at the interpreter instead of the person you are talking to is considered rude and it changes the dynamic of the conversation.
Keep in mind that the interpreter will not be going on the date with you two, so you will need to find another method of communication for when you are alone together. , If you already have talked to your crush, you will know how best to communicate.
If you’ve never spoken to them before, think about what the best way would be for your individual situation.
For instance, if your crush reads lips and speaks, plan to talk with them face-on so that they can clearly read your lips.
If your crush reads lips and speaks sign language, plan on signing to them.
If you don’t know sign language, plan to write down your message.
Also consider texting your crush if you have their number.
About the Author
Charles Hughes
Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.
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