How to Avoid Letting Politics Ruin Relationships
Begin any discussion by looking for the good in the other person's stance., Keep your own points rooted in fact, not opinion, to keep the discussion civil., Be a willing and thoughtful listener., Appreciate your differences as a way to both grow...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Begin any discussion by looking for the good in the other person's stance.
No one politician, party, or person has all of the right answers.
Similarly, no candidate is ever completely wrong.
Even if there are only a few small things you agree with, start the debate with a tone of agreement, showing the friendliness, trust, and openness that your relationship is built on.
You can either find something positive in their points, agree with areas your own views are lacking, or a mix of both."While I don't think it's a good law as it is written, I do agree that..." "I might not vote for him/her, but I do appreciate their stance on..." "I do support _____, but I acknowledge that he/she is not very good at..." -
Step 2: Keep your own points rooted in fact
The more you drift into opinions, generalization, and unprovable assertions you've stopped discussing and started arguing.
When you start making points and claims just to "win," and not to actually keep things politically conscious, then you've lost sight your relationship and turned the other person into your enemy.
This won't help you keep your relationship intact one bit.
Note that you should keep your own discussion factually based even if your conversation partner does not.
An opinion may be impossible for them to prove, but it may also be impossible for you to disprove.
This sort of argumentative brick wall is what ruins relationships. , If you are willing to give the other person your undivided attention, they will be more willing to give it to you.
Simply put, this means respecting the other person, and it is perhaps the most important thing you can do to prevent ruined relationships.
Good ways to show you're listening include:
Avoiding sarcasm, which does nothing more than mock someone's personal beliefs.
Not cutting off their points, which tells someone you don't care about them, only your point of view.
It makes it much harder for them to care about you, however.
Never speaking for them, which is when you act like you understand them completely without letting them explain for themselves.
Chances are high that your view of them is not the view they have of themselves., Think of it this way
-- you can only know your position if you know someone else's.
Conservatives don't exist without liberals; "right of center" doesn't make sense if there is not a "left of center" as well.
Political systems are strong when a variety of viewpoints can openly, constructively express themselves.
Relationships are the same way.
Politics are rarely black and white.
The ultimate answers and real-world changes are usually a result of compromise and finding the gray areas in the arguments.
Remember that having different opinions is okay, you don't have to agree on everything.
In fact, your differences are likely why you originally found each other interesting., Every few points, take a second to listen to your own tone of voice.
People feed off of each other, and rising voices and aggression in one party will make the whole debate more likely to explode.
This isn't to say you can't be passionate about your points
-- you should be! But you must remember that being passionate doesn't mean you get personal by becoming angry or emotional with the other person.
If you feel the tension rising, take a deep breath and slow down your voice.
Use pauses and a slower, less emotional tone of voice to bring the debate back down to the facts.
If you get too out of hand, apologize! A simple, "I can get really invested in this, I don't mean to get angry" is a good way to pull the discussion back to politics., When you or your partner/friend is simply repeating the same points over and over, and it is clear no minds are changing, there is no reason to keep arguing.
More often than not, all that happens is both sides continue escalating emotionally, turning the discussion from a debate into a fight.
Be the bigger person and recognize that you aren't going to change everyone's mind
-- and that is okay.
Your relationship is more important. "I see your points, but I'm not sure we're going to agree tonight on the outcome at this point." "You've given me a lot to think about
-- it's really good to consider the opposite side. -
Step 3: not opinion
-
Step 4: to keep the discussion civil.
-
Step 5: Be a willing and thoughtful listener.
-
Step 6: Appreciate your differences as a way to both grow stronger.
-
Step 7: Keep your tone of voice in check
-
Step 8: avoiding explosions of emotion or anger.
-
Step 9: Understand that there is always a point when it is best to back down.
Detailed Guide
No one politician, party, or person has all of the right answers.
Similarly, no candidate is ever completely wrong.
Even if there are only a few small things you agree with, start the debate with a tone of agreement, showing the friendliness, trust, and openness that your relationship is built on.
You can either find something positive in their points, agree with areas your own views are lacking, or a mix of both."While I don't think it's a good law as it is written, I do agree that..." "I might not vote for him/her, but I do appreciate their stance on..." "I do support _____, but I acknowledge that he/she is not very good at..."
The more you drift into opinions, generalization, and unprovable assertions you've stopped discussing and started arguing.
When you start making points and claims just to "win," and not to actually keep things politically conscious, then you've lost sight your relationship and turned the other person into your enemy.
This won't help you keep your relationship intact one bit.
Note that you should keep your own discussion factually based even if your conversation partner does not.
An opinion may be impossible for them to prove, but it may also be impossible for you to disprove.
This sort of argumentative brick wall is what ruins relationships. , If you are willing to give the other person your undivided attention, they will be more willing to give it to you.
Simply put, this means respecting the other person, and it is perhaps the most important thing you can do to prevent ruined relationships.
Good ways to show you're listening include:
Avoiding sarcasm, which does nothing more than mock someone's personal beliefs.
Not cutting off their points, which tells someone you don't care about them, only your point of view.
It makes it much harder for them to care about you, however.
Never speaking for them, which is when you act like you understand them completely without letting them explain for themselves.
Chances are high that your view of them is not the view they have of themselves., Think of it this way
-- you can only know your position if you know someone else's.
Conservatives don't exist without liberals; "right of center" doesn't make sense if there is not a "left of center" as well.
Political systems are strong when a variety of viewpoints can openly, constructively express themselves.
Relationships are the same way.
Politics are rarely black and white.
The ultimate answers and real-world changes are usually a result of compromise and finding the gray areas in the arguments.
Remember that having different opinions is okay, you don't have to agree on everything.
In fact, your differences are likely why you originally found each other interesting., Every few points, take a second to listen to your own tone of voice.
People feed off of each other, and rising voices and aggression in one party will make the whole debate more likely to explode.
This isn't to say you can't be passionate about your points
-- you should be! But you must remember that being passionate doesn't mean you get personal by becoming angry or emotional with the other person.
If you feel the tension rising, take a deep breath and slow down your voice.
Use pauses and a slower, less emotional tone of voice to bring the debate back down to the facts.
If you get too out of hand, apologize! A simple, "I can get really invested in this, I don't mean to get angry" is a good way to pull the discussion back to politics., When you or your partner/friend is simply repeating the same points over and over, and it is clear no minds are changing, there is no reason to keep arguing.
More often than not, all that happens is both sides continue escalating emotionally, turning the discussion from a debate into a fight.
Be the bigger person and recognize that you aren't going to change everyone's mind
-- and that is okay.
Your relationship is more important. "I see your points, but I'm not sure we're going to agree tonight on the outcome at this point." "You've given me a lot to think about
-- it's really good to consider the opposite side.
About the Author
Rebecca Collins
Brings years of experience writing about creative arts and related subjects.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: