How to Be Supportive when Your Friend Gets Engaged
Offer your congratulations., Send a card., Obtain an engagement present., Get to know your friend's partner., Accept the wedding invitation., Help organize the stag and hen nights or bachelor/bachelorette parties., Decide what to wear., If for any...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Offer your congratulations.
When your friend first announces her or his engagement, she or he is likely to be very excited.
It's a big moment in anyone's life, and it is normally important to the newly-betrothed that their friends and family share in their joy.
When your friend first tells you her or his plans, be happy for her or him and offer your congratulations.
Hugs, kisses, tears and laughter are all appropriate.
Hopefully this will come naturally! -
Step 2: Send a card.
If you can't be with your friend in person, send her or him a card to let them know you are thinking of her or him.
Address it to both your friend and her or his partner, and write a short personal message inside.
Personalise the card by adding a picture of the couple when they first met, before they got together or even a picture of your friend as a child, perhaps dressing up as a bride or groom or at a moment of success, like winning a medal. , You might like to give your friend a present to help celebrate her or his engagement.
Champagne is sometimes a good option.
Alternatively you could club together with some friends to treat the couple to an experience they can share together, like a weekend at a fancy hotel.
Respect any beliefs that your friend or their partner may have about proper boundaries before the marriage. , Now that your friend has decided to marry, it will be more important than ever that her or his friends and her or his partner get to know each other.
If you haven't already done so, make the effort to get to know your friend's new spouse-to-be.
Treat them as a unit by inviting them to things together.
If for some reason you really can't stand the new partner, then you need to put in a bit of extra work.
Try organizing group events to invite them to; that way you can get to know the partner without having to speak to him or her all the time.
Remember that meeting the friends can be a nerve-wracking experience, so the partner could be acting out of character due to nerves.
Give it time.
You friend obviously sees something in this person, so he or she can't be all bad! , At some point during the engagement you will (hopefully) receive an official invitation to the wedding.
The wedding day is traditionally hosted by the parents of the bride, and so the invitation will often be sent on their behalf.
They will often request an RSVP by a certain date.
The invitation may instruct you on how to do this, but if not you should reply by writing a short letter to the address on the invitation. , If you are best man or maid of honor, it is traditionally your responsibility to organize the "last night of the freedom bang" before marriage.
Apart from the logistics, you also have the responsibility of looking after the bride or groom on the big night.
You need to walk a fine line between making sure they have a party they will never forget, and stitching them up completely.
You should bear in mind though that their partner will hold you responsible for their loved one's safety and well being, and will appreciate any lasting damage or permanent tattoos. , You've been invited to share the most important day in your friend's life, so you should make an effort to look your best.
Start planning early so you can dress smartly.
Men should wear a suit and tie.
Women should take the opportunity to wear a dress.
Alternatively they could wear a nice top and skirt or trousers.
Avoid wearing white or the colour of the bridal party.
Make an effort with your outfit.
Weddings can vary from very formal to very casual.
As a general rule of thumb, jeans are a no no.
If you would wear it clubbing or to work, it's not appropriate for the wedding. , -
Step 3: Obtain an engagement present.
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Step 4: Get to know your friend's partner.
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Step 5: Accept the wedding invitation.
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Step 6: Help organize the stag and hen nights or bachelor/bachelorette parties.
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Step 7: Decide what to wear.
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Step 8: If for any reason you can't attend
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Step 9: then send a card with a message of best wishes.
Detailed Guide
When your friend first announces her or his engagement, she or he is likely to be very excited.
It's a big moment in anyone's life, and it is normally important to the newly-betrothed that their friends and family share in their joy.
When your friend first tells you her or his plans, be happy for her or him and offer your congratulations.
Hugs, kisses, tears and laughter are all appropriate.
Hopefully this will come naturally!
If you can't be with your friend in person, send her or him a card to let them know you are thinking of her or him.
Address it to both your friend and her or his partner, and write a short personal message inside.
Personalise the card by adding a picture of the couple when they first met, before they got together or even a picture of your friend as a child, perhaps dressing up as a bride or groom or at a moment of success, like winning a medal. , You might like to give your friend a present to help celebrate her or his engagement.
Champagne is sometimes a good option.
Alternatively you could club together with some friends to treat the couple to an experience they can share together, like a weekend at a fancy hotel.
Respect any beliefs that your friend or their partner may have about proper boundaries before the marriage. , Now that your friend has decided to marry, it will be more important than ever that her or his friends and her or his partner get to know each other.
If you haven't already done so, make the effort to get to know your friend's new spouse-to-be.
Treat them as a unit by inviting them to things together.
If for some reason you really can't stand the new partner, then you need to put in a bit of extra work.
Try organizing group events to invite them to; that way you can get to know the partner without having to speak to him or her all the time.
Remember that meeting the friends can be a nerve-wracking experience, so the partner could be acting out of character due to nerves.
Give it time.
You friend obviously sees something in this person, so he or she can't be all bad! , At some point during the engagement you will (hopefully) receive an official invitation to the wedding.
The wedding day is traditionally hosted by the parents of the bride, and so the invitation will often be sent on their behalf.
They will often request an RSVP by a certain date.
The invitation may instruct you on how to do this, but if not you should reply by writing a short letter to the address on the invitation. , If you are best man or maid of honor, it is traditionally your responsibility to organize the "last night of the freedom bang" before marriage.
Apart from the logistics, you also have the responsibility of looking after the bride or groom on the big night.
You need to walk a fine line between making sure they have a party they will never forget, and stitching them up completely.
You should bear in mind though that their partner will hold you responsible for their loved one's safety and well being, and will appreciate any lasting damage or permanent tattoos. , You've been invited to share the most important day in your friend's life, so you should make an effort to look your best.
Start planning early so you can dress smartly.
Men should wear a suit and tie.
Women should take the opportunity to wear a dress.
Alternatively they could wear a nice top and skirt or trousers.
Avoid wearing white or the colour of the bridal party.
Make an effort with your outfit.
Weddings can vary from very formal to very casual.
As a general rule of thumb, jeans are a no no.
If you would wear it clubbing or to work, it's not appropriate for the wedding. ,
About the Author
Claire Ferguson
Experienced content creator specializing in home improvement guides and tutorials.
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