How to Break Up With a Fake Friend
Check your friendship., Determine if they are in fact, a fake friend., Don't fight breaking up with a friend., Remove the benefit for the fake friend., Keep contact minimal., Ask for advice from people you trust., Make sure you want to end this...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Check your friendship.
Some friends may be fake, but some friends may be shy or have a real difficulty connecting with others.
If they are real friends, they may have the following characteristics.They might not always say the right thing, but are willing to listen to you if you are struggling.
They make you feel comfortable being yourself around them.
They support you.
They keep in contact with you all the time and not just when they want something.
They stick around during the hard times, not just the fun times.
They care about your well-being and safety. -
Step 2: Determine if they are in fact
Try and determine if they are a fake friend.
If they are, consider what they might be trying to gain from pretending to be friends with you.
If they are a fake friend they may:
Talk about you behind your back.
Use you to climb up a particular social chain.
Use you to get close to someone you are close to.
Copy your work or use your intelligence.
Try to get some sort of information from you.
Only talk to you when they need something.
Embarrass you or make you feel humiliated in public. , If you feel that your friend has changed, or that you are growing distant from each other, it may be a sign that your friendship is fading out.Even if you used to be close friends, people grow apart.
Don't fight that growth, just be glad for the good times you spent together.If you feel you are growing apart as friends, you may not have to proceed through a formal break-up.
You may choose to just let the friendship naturally fade.
This may be a good alternative option to take if you feel like there is no strong reason you don't get along.
Especially, if it's just that you have developed different interests and different groups of friends. , Removing the benefit may go against your nature or personality if you tend to be a “people-pleaser,” but your fake friend may be taking advantage of you.Additionally, they might leave you alone after they know they can't get what they want from you.
If you think they are trying to copy your work, make it impossible for them by moving your seat or not letting them see your work.If you believe they are using you to get to someone else, keep contact with the person while the fake friend isn't around.
If they only call you when they want something, deny whatever their request is.
You could even tell them that you won’t be able to fulfill their request in the future either.
For example, “Jenny, I know I’ve been giving you rides to work for the past month, but I’m not able to do that anymore.” , As you are preparing to end your friendship, distance yourself from the fake friend as much as possible.Politely decline invitations to hang out by saying “I'm sorry, I can't right now.” The purpose is to give yourself a little space free from the stress of a fake friendship, while you figure out how to end the relationship with them.
Try to avoid outright ignoring them or giving them the “silent treatment.” Those are perceived as immature and will likely cause an angry reaction from the fake friend and drama with any mutual friends you have. , Talk to your family, close friends, or your support system; and see what they say about the situation.Maybe they will be able to offer you an alternate perspective or advice on what is going on.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to close friends, or if you are not particularly close with your family members, seek advice from a school counselor or therapist.
School counselors have added experience in dealing the relationships and friendships in a school setting that you might find helpful. , It is hard to come back from if you regret your decision later.
Try to consider other options if you are currently in a fight, or if you are just trying to get them to do something specific.
If you really want to end the friendship, you should be able to think of several reasons why this friendship makes you unhappy and why you think you would be healthier without this friend around.
Consider writing a pro and con list of your friendship and see how it weighs out. -
Step 3: a fake friend.
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Step 4: Don't fight breaking up with a friend.
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Step 5: Remove the benefit for the fake friend.
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Step 6: Keep contact minimal.
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Step 7: Ask for advice from people you trust.
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Step 8: Make sure you want to end this friendship.Going through with the termination of a friendship is a big deal.
Detailed Guide
Some friends may be fake, but some friends may be shy or have a real difficulty connecting with others.
If they are real friends, they may have the following characteristics.They might not always say the right thing, but are willing to listen to you if you are struggling.
They make you feel comfortable being yourself around them.
They support you.
They keep in contact with you all the time and not just when they want something.
They stick around during the hard times, not just the fun times.
They care about your well-being and safety.
Try and determine if they are a fake friend.
If they are, consider what they might be trying to gain from pretending to be friends with you.
If they are a fake friend they may:
Talk about you behind your back.
Use you to climb up a particular social chain.
Use you to get close to someone you are close to.
Copy your work or use your intelligence.
Try to get some sort of information from you.
Only talk to you when they need something.
Embarrass you or make you feel humiliated in public. , If you feel that your friend has changed, or that you are growing distant from each other, it may be a sign that your friendship is fading out.Even if you used to be close friends, people grow apart.
Don't fight that growth, just be glad for the good times you spent together.If you feel you are growing apart as friends, you may not have to proceed through a formal break-up.
You may choose to just let the friendship naturally fade.
This may be a good alternative option to take if you feel like there is no strong reason you don't get along.
Especially, if it's just that you have developed different interests and different groups of friends. , Removing the benefit may go against your nature or personality if you tend to be a “people-pleaser,” but your fake friend may be taking advantage of you.Additionally, they might leave you alone after they know they can't get what they want from you.
If you think they are trying to copy your work, make it impossible for them by moving your seat or not letting them see your work.If you believe they are using you to get to someone else, keep contact with the person while the fake friend isn't around.
If they only call you when they want something, deny whatever their request is.
You could even tell them that you won’t be able to fulfill their request in the future either.
For example, “Jenny, I know I’ve been giving you rides to work for the past month, but I’m not able to do that anymore.” , As you are preparing to end your friendship, distance yourself from the fake friend as much as possible.Politely decline invitations to hang out by saying “I'm sorry, I can't right now.” The purpose is to give yourself a little space free from the stress of a fake friendship, while you figure out how to end the relationship with them.
Try to avoid outright ignoring them or giving them the “silent treatment.” Those are perceived as immature and will likely cause an angry reaction from the fake friend and drama with any mutual friends you have. , Talk to your family, close friends, or your support system; and see what they say about the situation.Maybe they will be able to offer you an alternate perspective or advice on what is going on.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to close friends, or if you are not particularly close with your family members, seek advice from a school counselor or therapist.
School counselors have added experience in dealing the relationships and friendships in a school setting that you might find helpful. , It is hard to come back from if you regret your decision later.
Try to consider other options if you are currently in a fight, or if you are just trying to get them to do something specific.
If you really want to end the friendship, you should be able to think of several reasons why this friendship makes you unhappy and why you think you would be healthier without this friend around.
Consider writing a pro and con list of your friendship and see how it weighs out.
About the Author
Douglas Hill
Writer and educator with a focus on practical cooking knowledge.
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