How to Break up With a Long Distance Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Be direct., Give them a call., Write them a letter., Keep your composure.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be direct.
If you’ve decided you want to break up with someone, the best route to take is sending a clear, concise message that the romantic aspects of your relationship is over.
Keep it quick.
You may not have specific reasons, and trying to explain yourself may actually make the break harder for both you and your partner.Go with something like, “This is hard for me to admit and I'm sorry I'm having to do this over the phone, but I can't be in this relationship anymore..." You may want to pause after letting them know, and see how they respond.
Your partner may understand, and saying more may complicate the conversation.
Keep in mind that the person may react with strong emotions, questions, and explanation.
Be prepared for these responses. -
Step 2: Give them a call.
Most of the time, you don’t want to visit a partner in another city simply to break up with them.
Similarly, you don’t want to have someone visit you, only to break up with them.
A phone call is likely the ideal method to have a break up conversation, as it more personal than a text or email, but allows you each to have your own space immediately following the call.
If the two of you have been open about how you’re feeling and a visit would be enjoyable for both of you, even if it marked the end of an era, this may be preferable.
The important thing to remember is that you want to break up with someone in a way that doesn’t put them in an uncomfortable situation. , Some people are better at conveying themselves by writing.
Further, a letter allows you to get everything out in one go.
This ensures that your partner hears your whole perspective before trying to argue or respond.
If you’ve tried to have the conversation before, or are worried your partner may be argumentative or have trouble listening, a letter may be a good way to get your message across directly.
Be clear about your intentions for writing the letter from the onset.
Start with something like, "I'm writing to let you know that I've decided to end our relationship together." Though this may feel too direct, it's important to be clear about your decision.
You might also add into the letter that if the other person wants to talk about it with you over the phone, then they can call you.
This is a kind gesture that might help to make the person feel a bit better. , Your partner may be surprised, hurt, or even angry about your decision to end the relationship.
If you become upset, try to do some deep breathing or to ask for a break before continuing the conversation.
For example, you might say something like, “This is a bit overwhelming.
Can I please call you back in about 15 minutes?” To help make the other person feel heard, you might also say something like, "I know you're hurt and shocked and I'm sorry to have caused you pain.
However, I'm sticking with my decision because it is what is best for me right now." -
Step 3: Write them a letter.
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Step 4: Keep your composure.
Detailed Guide
If you’ve decided you want to break up with someone, the best route to take is sending a clear, concise message that the romantic aspects of your relationship is over.
Keep it quick.
You may not have specific reasons, and trying to explain yourself may actually make the break harder for both you and your partner.Go with something like, “This is hard for me to admit and I'm sorry I'm having to do this over the phone, but I can't be in this relationship anymore..." You may want to pause after letting them know, and see how they respond.
Your partner may understand, and saying more may complicate the conversation.
Keep in mind that the person may react with strong emotions, questions, and explanation.
Be prepared for these responses.
Most of the time, you don’t want to visit a partner in another city simply to break up with them.
Similarly, you don’t want to have someone visit you, only to break up with them.
A phone call is likely the ideal method to have a break up conversation, as it more personal than a text or email, but allows you each to have your own space immediately following the call.
If the two of you have been open about how you’re feeling and a visit would be enjoyable for both of you, even if it marked the end of an era, this may be preferable.
The important thing to remember is that you want to break up with someone in a way that doesn’t put them in an uncomfortable situation. , Some people are better at conveying themselves by writing.
Further, a letter allows you to get everything out in one go.
This ensures that your partner hears your whole perspective before trying to argue or respond.
If you’ve tried to have the conversation before, or are worried your partner may be argumentative or have trouble listening, a letter may be a good way to get your message across directly.
Be clear about your intentions for writing the letter from the onset.
Start with something like, "I'm writing to let you know that I've decided to end our relationship together." Though this may feel too direct, it's important to be clear about your decision.
You might also add into the letter that if the other person wants to talk about it with you over the phone, then they can call you.
This is a kind gesture that might help to make the person feel a bit better. , Your partner may be surprised, hurt, or even angry about your decision to end the relationship.
If you become upset, try to do some deep breathing or to ask for a break before continuing the conversation.
For example, you might say something like, “This is a bit overwhelming.
Can I please call you back in about 15 minutes?” To help make the other person feel heard, you might also say something like, "I know you're hurt and shocked and I'm sorry to have caused you pain.
However, I'm sticking with my decision because it is what is best for me right now."
About the Author
Frank Shaw
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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