How to Break up With Your Boyfriend when You're Shy
List the reasons you want to end the relationship., Anticipate his response., Rehearse the conversation., Brace yourself against uncertainty., Try to prepare yourself emotionally for the breakup.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: List the reasons you want to end the relationship.
One of the first questions your future ex-boyfriend is going to ask when you deliver the news is “why?” To answer this, you must first figure it out for yourself.
Come up with clear and concrete reasons as to why you don’t want to continue being a couple, write them down, and bring the list to the breakup.Reflect on your “whys” before breaking up to determine whether or not your issues can be fixed with a discussion instead.
Write down the level of contact you plan to have with him after the breakup so that you can clearly communicate this to him as well.
Having the list is a particularly good idea if you’re shy.
It gives you a script for what to say and keeps you focused if he tries to change your mind. -
Step 2: Anticipate his response.
You are likely aware of how your boyfriend is going to react to the breakup.
Mentally preparing for his response can prevent you from being side-tracked or caught off guard.
Most importantly, it can help you stand your ground and stop you from changing your mind.
For example, you can say to yourself, “I know he’s going to be unhappy.
He may even yell or cry.
However, this is what I want and I can’t back down, no matter how bad he makes me feel for breaking up with him.”, Going into the difficult conversation knowing exactly what you’re going to say can give you the confidence you need, particularly if you are shy.
Having a plan and comebacks for all of his questions and rebuttals allows you to stay in control of the conversation.
Practice the conversation with a friend or someone you trust.
Do it as many times as it takes for you to feel prepared and comfortable.
However, only choose to rehearse with someone who you know will not tell anyone else what you’re about to do.
You want him to hear the news from you, not the grapevine., You know you’re shy, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t able to stand up for yourself.
Quiet the voice in your head that doubts you can do this.
Appearing wishy-washy during the conversation may give your boyfriend mixed signals.
Give yourself a pep talk before the conversation.
Say, “I can do this.
I have the courage it takes to speak up for myself.
I will be clear and focused and not let my shyness get in the way.”, Do your best to be prepared for the emotional toll that this may take on you as well.
Make sure that you take good care of yourself afterwards and have a plan in place to keep your mind clear.
Activities like yoga and meeting up with friends can help you stay grounded and avoid dwelling on the breakup after it happens. -
Step 3: Rehearse the conversation.
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Step 4: Brace yourself against uncertainty.
-
Step 5: Try to prepare yourself emotionally for the breakup.
Detailed Guide
One of the first questions your future ex-boyfriend is going to ask when you deliver the news is “why?” To answer this, you must first figure it out for yourself.
Come up with clear and concrete reasons as to why you don’t want to continue being a couple, write them down, and bring the list to the breakup.Reflect on your “whys” before breaking up to determine whether or not your issues can be fixed with a discussion instead.
Write down the level of contact you plan to have with him after the breakup so that you can clearly communicate this to him as well.
Having the list is a particularly good idea if you’re shy.
It gives you a script for what to say and keeps you focused if he tries to change your mind.
You are likely aware of how your boyfriend is going to react to the breakup.
Mentally preparing for his response can prevent you from being side-tracked or caught off guard.
Most importantly, it can help you stand your ground and stop you from changing your mind.
For example, you can say to yourself, “I know he’s going to be unhappy.
He may even yell or cry.
However, this is what I want and I can’t back down, no matter how bad he makes me feel for breaking up with him.”, Going into the difficult conversation knowing exactly what you’re going to say can give you the confidence you need, particularly if you are shy.
Having a plan and comebacks for all of his questions and rebuttals allows you to stay in control of the conversation.
Practice the conversation with a friend or someone you trust.
Do it as many times as it takes for you to feel prepared and comfortable.
However, only choose to rehearse with someone who you know will not tell anyone else what you’re about to do.
You want him to hear the news from you, not the grapevine., You know you’re shy, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t able to stand up for yourself.
Quiet the voice in your head that doubts you can do this.
Appearing wishy-washy during the conversation may give your boyfriend mixed signals.
Give yourself a pep talk before the conversation.
Say, “I can do this.
I have the courage it takes to speak up for myself.
I will be clear and focused and not let my shyness get in the way.”, Do your best to be prepared for the emotional toll that this may take on you as well.
Make sure that you take good care of yourself afterwards and have a plan in place to keep your mind clear.
Activities like yoga and meeting up with friends can help you stay grounded and avoid dwelling on the breakup after it happens.
About the Author
Andrea Thompson
Andrea Thompson is an experienced writer with over 1 years of expertise in advertising. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Andrea creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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