How to Break Up with Your Middle School Boyfriend Considerately

Decide whether breaking up is the best idea or not., Think it through., Observe some common courtesy., Decide on a date and stick with it. , Slowly slope off answering calls and texts as you approach the dreaded date., Start asking for your stuff...

41 Steps 5 min read Advanced

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Decide whether breaking up is the best idea or not.

    While this may seem easy, a lot of thought needs to be put into this decision. If you break up with them, you've ended it, and you'll look foolish if you decide you were wrong and go running back to them.

    If your boyfriend ditches you for his friends, if you like someone else, if he texts you all the time but won't talk to you in person, or if you simply feel uncomfortable with him, it's time for the relationship to end.

    But if he's just been frustrating this week, then maybe you should hold on a little longer and see if it improves.
  2. Step 2: Think it through.

     Once you make the decision, you can't go back.

    Try to think about it, hard, for at least a week before you break up (unless you sense that it is turning into an abusive relationship.

    Then, as hard as it may be, you need to tell someone and get help).

    Only ask friends for help if they know a lot about your relationship and are really close with you. , Never break up with someone before their birthday, Valentine's Day, the winter holidays, or even your birthday, as they may have bought an expensive present. ,, You don't want to make him think your decision was out of the blue. , Only ask for an item or two at a time.

    You'll be able to get the rest back after you've broken up, unless you are in a long-distance relationship.

    If your boyfriend lives far away, ask him during your breakup on the phone if he will mail your items back. , Don't ask anyone untrustworthy as they will spread the word that you're planning to break up. Only ask close, trusted friends.

    Keep the number of people you talk to to a minimum.

    Three is a good number. , This may cause him to dump you before you can break up with him. , If you're in a long-distance relationship, call your significant other (tips for breaking up over the phone are given below). Never break up over a text message or social media.

    The worst possible way is to change your Facebook status to "single" and wait for them to find out. , If possible, do it somewhere public but quiet, like a park, so you can say what you need to say and then leave, texting an adult when the conversation is over to come pick you up.

    However, do not make it seem like a date.

    That is just getting his hopes up. , These suggest that you're willing to talk about it.

    Saying, "I need to tell you something" is more definitive and final, because you're telling him your decision and not allowing yourself to be talked out of it.

    It's not going to be a discussion or a debate. , Tell him in your own words not that you want to break up, but that you actively ARE breaking up with him.

    An acceptable line is "Our relationship isn't working anymore."

    Chances are, you just don't feel for him anymore, in which case you can tell him he's a good guy but he's not right for you.

    If you have a reason, such as he texts you all the time but ignores you in school, or sometimes he makes you sad with things he says, tell him gently.

    Do not get too into it or act like it is a joy to bring up his faults in the relationship. ,  The relationship is over and his feelings aren't your responsibility anymore, no matter how harsh that sounds.

    If you've made mistakes in the relationship, bring them up and say that it wasn't just his fault that the relationship petered out.

    However, don't make him feel like he should be comforting you.

    Just as it isn't your responsibility to comfort him, it isn't his responsibility to comfort you. , No matter how many times you've heard it in a book: "We can still be friends, though," it isn't a good idea until a few months have passed and you've blown off some steam. , You have nothing to be sorry for. ,  Say what you need to say and then part ways.  Talking for an hour about what an awful boyfriend he was will only cause hard feelings. ,, You can tell him what you need to tell him without awkward pauses or silences. ,,, Saying mildly comforting things is okay. ,, Spend time with family and friends.

    Focus on school.

    Pick up a hobby. Ignore his texts and calls as they may be asking to get back together.

    If his constant texts or calls are overwhelming, block his number. , He shouldn't have any problem giving them to you. ,  Saying "we decided together that our relationship wasn't working," is a lie, and he's not going to appreciate it.

    Tell people (only if they ask), "I broke up with him," and end it there. , You're going to get a few angry comments or stares from his closest friends.

    Ignore them.

    If there are threats, report them to the principal. , It is normal to miss your ex after you've broken off the relationship.  Don't allow yourself to go back to him unless you agree that you are both ready. , If you're not, that's okay.

    You've got your whole life ahead of you.
  3. Step 3: Observe some common courtesy.

  4. Step 4: Decide on a date and stick with it.

  5. Step 5: Slowly slope off answering calls and texts as you approach the dreaded date.

  6. Step 6: Start asking for your stuff back

  7. Step 7: if he has any.

  8. Step 8: If you're going to ask people for advice on how to break up

  9. Step 9: be decent and only talk to people you trust.

  10. Step 10: Don't give him the cold shoulder prior to breaking up.

  11. Step 11: Break up in person

  12. Step 12: unless you are in a long-distance relationship.

  13. Step 13: Don't do it at school.

  14. Step 14: Never start the conversation with "I need to talk to you" or "I think I might want to break up with you."

  15. Step 15: Be straightforward.

  16. Step 16: Give him reasons why

  17. Step 17: but only if he asks.

  18. Step 18: Don't feel that you need to comfort him.

  19. Step 19: Do not suggest that you remain friends unless you and he are breaking up amicably and he understands your reasoning.

  20. Step 20: Tell him you hope he understands

  21. Step 21: but do not apologize.

  22. Step 22: Don't drag out the conversation.

  23. Step 23: Call him when you know he is home and awake.

  24. Step 24: If it goes to voicemail

  25. Step 25: you're lucky.

  26. Step 26: Say that you need to tell him something.

  27. Step 27: Tell him you are breaking up with him and tell him why.

  28. Step 28: As stated earlier

  29. Step 29: it is not your responsibility to comfort him extensively.

  30. Step 30: When you're finished

  31. Step 31: hang up.

  32. Step 32: Forget about him for at least a month.

  33. Step 33: If you didn't ask for all of your stuff back before you broke up

  34. Step 34: ask him for the items he still has.

  35. Step 35: Don't spread the news

  36. Step 36: but if someone asks

  37. Step 37: tell them the truth.

  38. Step 38: Expect unfriendliness from some.

  39. Step 39: Expect a sense of loss.

  40. Step 40: Look for someone else

  41. Step 41: if you're interested.

Detailed Guide

While this may seem easy, a lot of thought needs to be put into this decision. If you break up with them, you've ended it, and you'll look foolish if you decide you were wrong and go running back to them.

If your boyfriend ditches you for his friends, if you like someone else, if he texts you all the time but won't talk to you in person, or if you simply feel uncomfortable with him, it's time for the relationship to end.

But if he's just been frustrating this week, then maybe you should hold on a little longer and see if it improves.

 Once you make the decision, you can't go back.

Try to think about it, hard, for at least a week before you break up (unless you sense that it is turning into an abusive relationship.

Then, as hard as it may be, you need to tell someone and get help).

Only ask friends for help if they know a lot about your relationship and are really close with you. , Never break up with someone before their birthday, Valentine's Day, the winter holidays, or even your birthday, as they may have bought an expensive present. ,, You don't want to make him think your decision was out of the blue. , Only ask for an item or two at a time.

You'll be able to get the rest back after you've broken up, unless you are in a long-distance relationship.

If your boyfriend lives far away, ask him during your breakup on the phone if he will mail your items back. , Don't ask anyone untrustworthy as they will spread the word that you're planning to break up. Only ask close, trusted friends.

Keep the number of people you talk to to a minimum.

Three is a good number. , This may cause him to dump you before you can break up with him. , If you're in a long-distance relationship, call your significant other (tips for breaking up over the phone are given below). Never break up over a text message or social media.

The worst possible way is to change your Facebook status to "single" and wait for them to find out. , If possible, do it somewhere public but quiet, like a park, so you can say what you need to say and then leave, texting an adult when the conversation is over to come pick you up.

However, do not make it seem like a date.

That is just getting his hopes up. , These suggest that you're willing to talk about it.

Saying, "I need to tell you something" is more definitive and final, because you're telling him your decision and not allowing yourself to be talked out of it.

It's not going to be a discussion or a debate. , Tell him in your own words not that you want to break up, but that you actively ARE breaking up with him.

An acceptable line is "Our relationship isn't working anymore."

Chances are, you just don't feel for him anymore, in which case you can tell him he's a good guy but he's not right for you.

If you have a reason, such as he texts you all the time but ignores you in school, or sometimes he makes you sad with things he says, tell him gently.

Do not get too into it or act like it is a joy to bring up his faults in the relationship. ,  The relationship is over and his feelings aren't your responsibility anymore, no matter how harsh that sounds.

If you've made mistakes in the relationship, bring them up and say that it wasn't just his fault that the relationship petered out.

However, don't make him feel like he should be comforting you.

Just as it isn't your responsibility to comfort him, it isn't his responsibility to comfort you. , No matter how many times you've heard it in a book: "We can still be friends, though," it isn't a good idea until a few months have passed and you've blown off some steam. , You have nothing to be sorry for. ,  Say what you need to say and then part ways.  Talking for an hour about what an awful boyfriend he was will only cause hard feelings. ,, You can tell him what you need to tell him without awkward pauses or silences. ,,, Saying mildly comforting things is okay. ,, Spend time with family and friends.

Focus on school.

Pick up a hobby. Ignore his texts and calls as they may be asking to get back together.

If his constant texts or calls are overwhelming, block his number. , He shouldn't have any problem giving them to you. ,  Saying "we decided together that our relationship wasn't working," is a lie, and he's not going to appreciate it.

Tell people (only if they ask), "I broke up with him," and end it there. , You're going to get a few angry comments or stares from his closest friends.

Ignore them.

If there are threats, report them to the principal. , It is normal to miss your ex after you've broken off the relationship.  Don't allow yourself to go back to him unless you agree that you are both ready. , If you're not, that's okay.

You've got your whole life ahead of you.

About the Author

K

Kyle Thompson

Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.

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