How to Communicate About Child Discipline in a Marriage
Be proactive., Make time for each other., Discuss discipline in private., Talk about your personal experiences with discipline., Establish rules and expected behaviors., Compare discipline styles that you accept and oppose., Share resources...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be proactive.
Communicating ahead of a crisis or behavior problem will help you handle it better than if you have to react to a problem that has already occurred.
Have a plan in place for the issues you can anticipate for each age.
While you cannot predict all behavior problems, you know you will have to deal with a toddler who won't listen, a school-aged child who does not want to do homework and a teenager who wants to stay out late.
Be prepared. -
Step 2: Make time for each other.
You and your spouse lead busy lives and juggle work, parenting and other responsibilities.
Dedicate some time to discussing the discipline of your child or children. , Never argue about your parenting roles in front of your kids.
Your communication should be kept between you and your spouse.
You do not want to encourage your kids to choose sides or use what they hear against you.
Try having a signal with one another if you feel like a discussion might escalate into an argument.
This will keep your tempers in check and avoid a fight that will have a negative impact on your kids. , This will give you each some perspective if you are approaching child discipline differently.
Let your spouse know how you were disciplined as a child, and whether you think it was fair and appropriate.
Some people want to copy their parents' style, and others want to do the exact opposite. , Talk to your spouse about how you expect your children to behave, and what the consequences should be when they misbehave.
Be sure to share these expectations and rules with your children.
Both parents should be involved in talking to the kids about how they are expected to behave and how they will be disciplined. , Talk about these methods with your spouse.
Discuss the authoritarian style of rigid rules and harsh punishments.
Children are not involved in decision-making and are expected to demonstrate respect for their parents.
Talk about the authoritative style of discipline, which considers input from the children but does not necessarily follow it.
Explanations are offered and discipline is often handed out on a case-by-case basis.
Debate the over-protective approach to discipline, in which children are sheltered and protected from anything or anyone that could possibly harm them.
Consider laissez-faire discipline, which provides few rules and restrictions and offers little concrete guidance or punishment. , You and your spouse can take advantage of available books, websites, magazines, classes and support groups that help parents navigate the paths of child discipline.
Discuss everything you read, learn and see. , If you are working with a blended family, there will be different expectations when it comes to disciplining each other's children.
Talk frequently with each other about boundaries, problems, successes and any resentment that might arise when a stepparent disciplines a child that is not biologically his or hers. -
Step 3: Discuss discipline in private.
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Step 4: Talk about your personal experiences with discipline.
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Step 5: Establish rules and expected behaviors.
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Step 6: Compare discipline styles that you accept and oppose.
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Step 7: Share resources.
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Step 8: Consider the role of stepparents.
Detailed Guide
Communicating ahead of a crisis or behavior problem will help you handle it better than if you have to react to a problem that has already occurred.
Have a plan in place for the issues you can anticipate for each age.
While you cannot predict all behavior problems, you know you will have to deal with a toddler who won't listen, a school-aged child who does not want to do homework and a teenager who wants to stay out late.
Be prepared.
You and your spouse lead busy lives and juggle work, parenting and other responsibilities.
Dedicate some time to discussing the discipline of your child or children. , Never argue about your parenting roles in front of your kids.
Your communication should be kept between you and your spouse.
You do not want to encourage your kids to choose sides or use what they hear against you.
Try having a signal with one another if you feel like a discussion might escalate into an argument.
This will keep your tempers in check and avoid a fight that will have a negative impact on your kids. , This will give you each some perspective if you are approaching child discipline differently.
Let your spouse know how you were disciplined as a child, and whether you think it was fair and appropriate.
Some people want to copy their parents' style, and others want to do the exact opposite. , Talk to your spouse about how you expect your children to behave, and what the consequences should be when they misbehave.
Be sure to share these expectations and rules with your children.
Both parents should be involved in talking to the kids about how they are expected to behave and how they will be disciplined. , Talk about these methods with your spouse.
Discuss the authoritarian style of rigid rules and harsh punishments.
Children are not involved in decision-making and are expected to demonstrate respect for their parents.
Talk about the authoritative style of discipline, which considers input from the children but does not necessarily follow it.
Explanations are offered and discipline is often handed out on a case-by-case basis.
Debate the over-protective approach to discipline, in which children are sheltered and protected from anything or anyone that could possibly harm them.
Consider laissez-faire discipline, which provides few rules and restrictions and offers little concrete guidance or punishment. , You and your spouse can take advantage of available books, websites, magazines, classes and support groups that help parents navigate the paths of child discipline.
Discuss everything you read, learn and see. , If you are working with a blended family, there will be different expectations when it comes to disciplining each other's children.
Talk frequently with each other about boundaries, problems, successes and any resentment that might arise when a stepparent disciplines a child that is not biologically his or hers.
About the Author
Carol Bell
Carol Bell has dedicated 10 years to mastering education and learning. As a content creator, Carol focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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