How to Convince Your Husband to Watch His Kids More

Find out why your husband doesn’t watch the kids., Tell your husband you need him to take on more childcare duties., Point out how your husband’s help will benefit the family., Ask your husband to do specific things., Show gratitude for your...

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Find out why your husband doesn’t watch the kids.

    There are many reasons a man might not spend enough time with his kids.

    Did he grow up with the attitude that raising children is the mother’s job? Is he afraid to take care of the baby because he thinks he’ll do something wrong? Figuring out the source of your husband’s behavior is the first step towards helping him change it.Talk to your husband about his attitudes towards child-rearing when you’re both in a good mood.

    Keep your tone friendly, light, and curious.

    If your husband feels like you’re criticizing him, he may resist opening up to you.

    Stick to "I" statements when you talk to your husband about the problem.

    Say something like, “Hey, Mark, do you have a minute? I've noticed that I'm the only one who watches the kids by myself.

    I was wondering if there’s any particular reason for that.”
  2. Step 2: Tell your husband you need him to take on more childcare duties.

    Communication is key if you want your husband to watch his kids more often.

    Instead of dropping hints or getting frustrated because your husband doesn’t do things of his own accord, tell him what you need him to do and why.Keep your tone neutral or positive during the conversation to avoid making your husband feel defensive.

    Say something like, “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately trying to take care of the kids and keep up with my job too.

    Do you have any ideas about how you could help me?” , Most of the time, your husband will probably be glad to shoulder some of the childcare burden – he just might not know what exactly to do or why.

    Give him an incentive to watch the kids more often by telling him about the positive impact it will have.For instance, you might tell him, “The kids really look forward to spending time with you at the park, and I’m less stressed when I can make dinner without trying to keep order in the house at the same time.” , It may seem obvious to you when the baby needs to be burped or the toddler needs help zipping her coat, but if your husband isn’t used to doing these things, he may not notice.

    Instead of assuming that his inaction means he doesn’t care about helping you, be direct and ask him to do things when you notice they need to be done.Pay attention to your tone when you ask your husband for help.

    Keep your tone friendly and upbeat. , Your husband probably wants to do his best to take care of his kids and make your life easier.

    Reinforce his positive behavior by thanking him when he takes over watching the kids for you.

    If you show that you appreciate him, he’ll want to continue doing his part in the future.For instance, your husband changes the baby’s diaper without telling you to do it, so you might say, "I'm so glad you're such a good dad."
  3. Step 3: Point out how your husband’s help will benefit the family.

  4. Step 4: Ask your husband to do specific things.

  5. Step 5: Show gratitude for your husband’s contributions.

Detailed Guide

There are many reasons a man might not spend enough time with his kids.

Did he grow up with the attitude that raising children is the mother’s job? Is he afraid to take care of the baby because he thinks he’ll do something wrong? Figuring out the source of your husband’s behavior is the first step towards helping him change it.Talk to your husband about his attitudes towards child-rearing when you’re both in a good mood.

Keep your tone friendly, light, and curious.

If your husband feels like you’re criticizing him, he may resist opening up to you.

Stick to "I" statements when you talk to your husband about the problem.

Say something like, “Hey, Mark, do you have a minute? I've noticed that I'm the only one who watches the kids by myself.

I was wondering if there’s any particular reason for that.”

Communication is key if you want your husband to watch his kids more often.

Instead of dropping hints or getting frustrated because your husband doesn’t do things of his own accord, tell him what you need him to do and why.Keep your tone neutral or positive during the conversation to avoid making your husband feel defensive.

Say something like, “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately trying to take care of the kids and keep up with my job too.

Do you have any ideas about how you could help me?” , Most of the time, your husband will probably be glad to shoulder some of the childcare burden – he just might not know what exactly to do or why.

Give him an incentive to watch the kids more often by telling him about the positive impact it will have.For instance, you might tell him, “The kids really look forward to spending time with you at the park, and I’m less stressed when I can make dinner without trying to keep order in the house at the same time.” , It may seem obvious to you when the baby needs to be burped or the toddler needs help zipping her coat, but if your husband isn’t used to doing these things, he may not notice.

Instead of assuming that his inaction means he doesn’t care about helping you, be direct and ask him to do things when you notice they need to be done.Pay attention to your tone when you ask your husband for help.

Keep your tone friendly and upbeat. , Your husband probably wants to do his best to take care of his kids and make your life easier.

Reinforce his positive behavior by thanking him when he takes over watching the kids for you.

If you show that you appreciate him, he’ll want to continue doing his part in the future.For instance, your husband changes the baby’s diaper without telling you to do it, so you might say, "I'm so glad you're such a good dad."

About the Author

G

Gary Reyes

Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in DIY projects and beyond.

49 articles
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