How to Date a Guy That Likes Another Girl
Find out whether there is someone he likes already., If he is actually dating the other girl right now, consider backing right off., Get to know him better., Learn about hobbies and sports he is interested in., After getting to know him, and his...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out whether there is someone he likes already.
Make sure this isn't just in your imagination.
How can you tell? Here are some indicators:
He talks about the other girl a lot.
He seems to spend a lot of time trying to be near the other girl.
He has told friends he likes her, and this has reached you through similar friends or friends of friends.
She knows he likes her and has told you or has told everyone she can.
He makes an effort to sit near her in class, at lunch, etc. and to carry her books or do other things that can get him close to her. -
Step 2: If he is actually dating the other girl right now
It's one thing to know he fancies another girl, it's quite something else to aim to be the girl that busts up an existing relationship.
That is fraught with danger, dislike, jealousy and mistrust.
And do you really want to be with a guy who will easily drop one girl for you? You could suffer the same fate down the track.
Be certain that it's just a friendship with this other girl, and not an actual dating relationship, before setting your target on him.
If you really think their relationship is doomed, be patient and let time do its thing.
When they break up, you can be there to catch the pieces.
Do you really want to compete for him? If so, consider how serious the relationship is, and how happy they seem together before throwing in your bid to cause trouble between them.
If he is truly happy in this relationship, you may risk his happiness.
If it turns out they are just good friends, the door may be open to date him without any worries. , If he is interested in someone else, you guys will need to know each other better.
At least give him the chance to decide he likes you instead, by being an active part of his life.
Get closer.
Find excuses to talk to him and hang around him.
If you are in school and in the same class, try to find an opportunity to do a project or study together.
Find out what he likes to do outside school, his hobbies and interests.
See if you have anything in common.
If you don't, you might decide this relationship isn't even worth the effort of chasing! , If he is in to art, show him your drawings, or look for art shows in your community and ask him to come along with you and some other friends.
If he likes football, learn enough about the game to carry on a conversation with him about it. , If he is serious about the other girl and makes it clear to her that he is pursuing dating her, consider the problems trying to date him may cause.
He might be disappointed that you are trying to turn a friendship into something more intimate, especially when it's obvious to all that his heart lies elsewhere.
This is a good time to give up your efforts before anyone gets hurt or hard feelings occur.
It is also a good time to decide whether it's worth destroying your blossoming friendship, which may still bear fruit if he and the other girl don't work out.
Sometimes it is best to play the long game and simply be there as a friend, until much later. , Depending on how his relationship is going with the girl he is actually dating, it may be only a matter of time before a breakup.
You will want to be in a good position to step in. , Hint around about someplace you would like to go, that you think he would be interested in. , Don't drop a line on him about going to the local "lovers' hangout" or something blatantly romantic. , Occasionally mention casually there is some evening activity you think he would enjoy, and that you would like to go with him.
This may be a movie, sporting event, or community event that you can present as a mutual interest. , This means avoiding insulting or misleading him about his present girlfriend, or being dishonest about your likes simply to impress him.
Don't read to much into the things he says or does.
Girls can sometimes over think things; if he smiles or laughs with you, don't assume he wants to elope, he's just being friendly , This means that you need to admit to yourself your reasons for wanting to go out with him.
If it is only based on jealousy of his girlfriend, or it's just a passing attraction, your efforts won't be in good character.
Moreover, if your intentions are spiteful, you may be so enmeshed in jealousy that you miss a guy who is really worth your efforts.
Be absolutely certain that this is the guy you want to wait for.
Don't spend all your time obsessing over him.
You have a life to live and obsession isn't healthy and can lead to heartbreak.
Don't be a stalker.
Don't hate the girl he likes or at least do your best not to.
This is hard because you probably see her as competition, but it's pointless obsessing over her and shows immaturity on your behalf.
Don't turn yourself into a copy of his girlfriend.
That will only end badly; if he does break up, he won't want another her and he won't be impressed that you're aping her at any stage of your friendship. -
Step 3: consider backing right off.
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Step 4: Get to know him better.
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Step 5: Learn about hobbies and sports he is interested in.
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Step 6: After getting to know him
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Step 7: and his potential other girl
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Step 8: decide if it's worth the effort of continuing.
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Step 9: Take your time.
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Step 10: If you're convinced he isn't serious about the "other girl" and that you have a real chance
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Step 11: make your move.
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Step 12: Keep your hints and suggestions innocent.
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Step 13: Don't be too pushy
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Step 14: or make suggestions and hints too often
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Step 15: as this will cause him to put his guard up.
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Step 16: Be a good friend
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Step 17: regardless of whether he asks you out or not.
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Step 18: Deal with your own feelings honestly.
Detailed Guide
Make sure this isn't just in your imagination.
How can you tell? Here are some indicators:
He talks about the other girl a lot.
He seems to spend a lot of time trying to be near the other girl.
He has told friends he likes her, and this has reached you through similar friends or friends of friends.
She knows he likes her and has told you or has told everyone she can.
He makes an effort to sit near her in class, at lunch, etc. and to carry her books or do other things that can get him close to her.
It's one thing to know he fancies another girl, it's quite something else to aim to be the girl that busts up an existing relationship.
That is fraught with danger, dislike, jealousy and mistrust.
And do you really want to be with a guy who will easily drop one girl for you? You could suffer the same fate down the track.
Be certain that it's just a friendship with this other girl, and not an actual dating relationship, before setting your target on him.
If you really think their relationship is doomed, be patient and let time do its thing.
When they break up, you can be there to catch the pieces.
Do you really want to compete for him? If so, consider how serious the relationship is, and how happy they seem together before throwing in your bid to cause trouble between them.
If he is truly happy in this relationship, you may risk his happiness.
If it turns out they are just good friends, the door may be open to date him without any worries. , If he is interested in someone else, you guys will need to know each other better.
At least give him the chance to decide he likes you instead, by being an active part of his life.
Get closer.
Find excuses to talk to him and hang around him.
If you are in school and in the same class, try to find an opportunity to do a project or study together.
Find out what he likes to do outside school, his hobbies and interests.
See if you have anything in common.
If you don't, you might decide this relationship isn't even worth the effort of chasing! , If he is in to art, show him your drawings, or look for art shows in your community and ask him to come along with you and some other friends.
If he likes football, learn enough about the game to carry on a conversation with him about it. , If he is serious about the other girl and makes it clear to her that he is pursuing dating her, consider the problems trying to date him may cause.
He might be disappointed that you are trying to turn a friendship into something more intimate, especially when it's obvious to all that his heart lies elsewhere.
This is a good time to give up your efforts before anyone gets hurt or hard feelings occur.
It is also a good time to decide whether it's worth destroying your blossoming friendship, which may still bear fruit if he and the other girl don't work out.
Sometimes it is best to play the long game and simply be there as a friend, until much later. , Depending on how his relationship is going with the girl he is actually dating, it may be only a matter of time before a breakup.
You will want to be in a good position to step in. , Hint around about someplace you would like to go, that you think he would be interested in. , Don't drop a line on him about going to the local "lovers' hangout" or something blatantly romantic. , Occasionally mention casually there is some evening activity you think he would enjoy, and that you would like to go with him.
This may be a movie, sporting event, or community event that you can present as a mutual interest. , This means avoiding insulting or misleading him about his present girlfriend, or being dishonest about your likes simply to impress him.
Don't read to much into the things he says or does.
Girls can sometimes over think things; if he smiles or laughs with you, don't assume he wants to elope, he's just being friendly , This means that you need to admit to yourself your reasons for wanting to go out with him.
If it is only based on jealousy of his girlfriend, or it's just a passing attraction, your efforts won't be in good character.
Moreover, if your intentions are spiteful, you may be so enmeshed in jealousy that you miss a guy who is really worth your efforts.
Be absolutely certain that this is the guy you want to wait for.
Don't spend all your time obsessing over him.
You have a life to live and obsession isn't healthy and can lead to heartbreak.
Don't be a stalker.
Don't hate the girl he likes or at least do your best not to.
This is hard because you probably see her as competition, but it's pointless obsessing over her and shows immaturity on your behalf.
Don't turn yourself into a copy of his girlfriend.
That will only end badly; if he does break up, he won't want another her and he won't be impressed that you're aping her at any stage of your friendship.
About the Author
Carolyn Hall
A passionate writer with expertise in practical skills topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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