How to Deal With a Cheating Boyfriend
Investigate., Ask the woman that he’s having an affair with, if you know or suspect who she is., Ask him.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Investigate.
Play detective, and notice his suspicious mannerisms.
Ask yourself the following:
Has he been less intimate with you? If you notice sex become less frequent, he might be getting something on the side.Has he been dressing to impress? Men do this when they’re first interested in someone, but when things get serious, they tend to slack on their appearance.
If he suddenly starts working out or takes an unusual interest in his looks, he’s looking good for someone else.Is he “working late” more frequently? If “working late” becomes more regular, or if he’s spending nights away “on business,” he’s probably seeing someone else.
Unless he’s been overwhelmed with work, in which case he probably tells you all about specific things he’s stressed about.
If he’s vague about his late nights and business trips, and doesn’t tell you very much about them, there’s a solid chance he’s seeing someone else.Does he check his phone a lot, and is he secretive about it? Some men are simply more private than others, but if he becomes defensive when you ask him who he’s corresponding with, he’s hiding something.
Has he become protective of his personal accounts? More so than usual? If he suddenly installs a password on his cell phone or computer, or starts intercepting the mail to open bank statements in private, he is likely having an affair.Has he been withdrawn and distant from you lately? If he’s behaving anxious around you, there’s a chance he’s having an affair.
But remember, men can be distant for many reasons, so don’t go jumping to conclusions.
But if he is being unfaithful, he will most likely be nervous, whether it be out of guilt or paranoia.
Has he been snide to you in front of company? He may try to justify his infidelity by convincing himself you’re the bad guy.Has he been mentioning a female acquaintance or colleague a lot more lately?This may mean he has a crush, whether he knows it or not.
The good news is, if he still mentions her to you, he may not have acted on those feelings yet, since they’re still tantalizing him.
If he did the deed already, he’d probably never mention her again. -
Step 2: Ask the woman that he’s having an affair with
Most women will sympathize and tell the truth.
Oftentimes, this is exactly what she wants—for you to know.
She may want you to leave him, so she can have your man all to herself.
Many women are offended to be somebody’s secret, or second choice. , He may not answer honestly, but you can still infer by his reaction whether he is hiding something.
If he reacts defensively or nervously, and fervently denies all accusations, he's hiding something.
If he "doesn’t dignify your question with an answer," it’s usually because he doesn’t want to lie to you, but he really doesn’t want to tell the truth.
If instead of answering, he asks, “How could you think that? Don’t you trust me?” he’s probably just avoiding your question.
If he comes clean, it is for one of two reasons.
Either he is telling you because A) he wants to leave you, or B) the guilt of the affair is killing him.
If he breaks down and cries, or keeps his head down when he tells you, it’s because he’s ashamed and he regrets his actions.
Ask him what his intentions are in telling you, whether he wants to work things out with you or not. -
Step 3: if you know or suspect who she is.
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Step 4: Ask him.
Detailed Guide
Play detective, and notice his suspicious mannerisms.
Ask yourself the following:
Has he been less intimate with you? If you notice sex become less frequent, he might be getting something on the side.Has he been dressing to impress? Men do this when they’re first interested in someone, but when things get serious, they tend to slack on their appearance.
If he suddenly starts working out or takes an unusual interest in his looks, he’s looking good for someone else.Is he “working late” more frequently? If “working late” becomes more regular, or if he’s spending nights away “on business,” he’s probably seeing someone else.
Unless he’s been overwhelmed with work, in which case he probably tells you all about specific things he’s stressed about.
If he’s vague about his late nights and business trips, and doesn’t tell you very much about them, there’s a solid chance he’s seeing someone else.Does he check his phone a lot, and is he secretive about it? Some men are simply more private than others, but if he becomes defensive when you ask him who he’s corresponding with, he’s hiding something.
Has he become protective of his personal accounts? More so than usual? If he suddenly installs a password on his cell phone or computer, or starts intercepting the mail to open bank statements in private, he is likely having an affair.Has he been withdrawn and distant from you lately? If he’s behaving anxious around you, there’s a chance he’s having an affair.
But remember, men can be distant for many reasons, so don’t go jumping to conclusions.
But if he is being unfaithful, he will most likely be nervous, whether it be out of guilt or paranoia.
Has he been snide to you in front of company? He may try to justify his infidelity by convincing himself you’re the bad guy.Has he been mentioning a female acquaintance or colleague a lot more lately?This may mean he has a crush, whether he knows it or not.
The good news is, if he still mentions her to you, he may not have acted on those feelings yet, since they’re still tantalizing him.
If he did the deed already, he’d probably never mention her again.
Most women will sympathize and tell the truth.
Oftentimes, this is exactly what she wants—for you to know.
She may want you to leave him, so she can have your man all to herself.
Many women are offended to be somebody’s secret, or second choice. , He may not answer honestly, but you can still infer by his reaction whether he is hiding something.
If he reacts defensively or nervously, and fervently denies all accusations, he's hiding something.
If he "doesn’t dignify your question with an answer," it’s usually because he doesn’t want to lie to you, but he really doesn’t want to tell the truth.
If instead of answering, he asks, “How could you think that? Don’t you trust me?” he’s probably just avoiding your question.
If he comes clean, it is for one of two reasons.
Either he is telling you because A) he wants to leave you, or B) the guilt of the affair is killing him.
If he breaks down and cries, or keeps his head down when he tells you, it’s because he’s ashamed and he regrets his actions.
Ask him what his intentions are in telling you, whether he wants to work things out with you or not.
About the Author
Jean Gonzales
A passionate writer with expertise in practical skills topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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